She sometimes takes long to reply

[Alostor]

Hi all,

I've had a crush on this girl for years, and a couple of months ago, I started a conversation over Facebook with her. We chat nice, she sends me funny photos and I do the same, we joke and discuss things we both find interesting. The only problem is that sometimes she takes really long to respond. As in, a whole day long. After that time her respond will continue the topic, and sometimes we will chat more, sometimes less. Then it goes again. A 12-24 hour period before she finally responds. I have noticed her coming online quite often and staying for at least a couple of minutes, so she must know that I've sent her a message.

I am 20, and she is (almost) 18. I know she is not too bussy during the day to reply to a simple message, and since she comes online at least a couple of times and does not answer, the only two reasons she does not write back that I can think of are: either she is not interested in me, or she is playing hard to get?

I would really like to hear about someone else's experience on this matter!

[TheEvilJester]

Ah, those internet aps with chat features and whatnot. That ability to tell if/when somebody is online is kind of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it is good to know, on the other hand it can torture the ever-living Hell out of you. "What the Hell? Person XYZ was on, but they ignored my message!" I think we've all tormented ourselves at one time or another.

Here's the thing.... from your story, I am assuming you and her thus far have only chatted in a friendly manner, correct? In other words, you have not yet asked her out, are not yet dating, or anything like that, correct?

So, to be honest, it is entirely possible that there are perfectly reasonable and innocent reasons for why she may login and not respond to your message. Maybe she was only popping in for a minute or two and didn't have time to continue the conversation. Or it is also possible she just did not yet feel like continuing the conversation.... which isn't automatically a bad thing. Right now you are just friends/friendly. I don't talk to all my friends every day as I am sure you do not either.

If you were boyfriend and girlfriend and she barely ever seemed to reach out, then I'd be concerned. Not to mention, from what you said, thus far she always winds up responding within at least a day. To me, that says she is still interested in talking to you.

Now, could that mean she could be interested in dating you if you asked? Maybe. Could that mean she is only interested in being your friend? Maybe. I think it really isn't any clear indication either way, to be honest with you. Though, what it does seem to say if you ask me is that she is at least interested enough to keep restarting the conversation with you. If she weren't interested in talking to you at all, it would be pretty easy just to not bother responding. When you two do talk, does she at least seem actually engaged in the conversation? If she gives basically nothing but short answers and you are basically always having to drive the conversation, then that could possibly indicate she isn't sincerely interested in talking to you.

Either way, why not take a chance and ask her out? You'll never know if you don't try. If it doesn't go well, then at least you know and you can move on. If it does go well, wouldn't you be kicking yourself for even considering not taking that chance? Good luck to you! I hope it works out.