Boyfriend Family Advice

[smalltowngirl]

Hello,

My boyfriend, we'll call him Sam, has a really close relationship with his aunt and uncle, Darren and Brandy, who he has lived with during college and continues to during the week. He comes to stay with me on weekends since we work in different towns but still goes to Darren and Brandy's vacation home in the town I work in. I used to get along with them, but Darren has called me a bitch to Sam and Sam just laughed it off insisting it was because he didn't want drama between us with him still living there. Since this occurrence I have done my best to avoid them if at all possible. I don't go visit with him anymore, and I only see them when necessary at family functions.

His 12 year old cousin even went as far as saying to another person who lives in the same town as us that everyone in their family hates me...she's 12 so I don't think she really came up with that on her own and I'm sure Darren and Brandy, her parents, provoked that thought.

Sam doesn't really like that I don't get along with his family and there has been an occasion or two where he'll come to see me Friday night after work and after about an hour he leaves for several hours to go see Darren and Brandy. I try not to let this upset me but since I wait all week to see him I would like a little more than one hour of visiting before he leaves. Am I asking too much?

I don't want to seem needy but I also don't want to never see him on weekends when he's lived with them for so long and seen them so much. Recently his other aunt and uncle, Mark and Jennifer, decided to visit for about a month and this weekend he got up to my house on Friday night and stopped in for about 10 minutes with his cousins to see our new puppy and then left to go visit his family. I waited up for him after I got work at 9:00 PM and finally went to sleep at 11:00 to wake up the next morning and still not see him. He didn't come over for breakfast and I didn't end up seeing him until about noon. I don't think it's too much to ask that he stops by for more than 10 minutes without all of his cousins running around to see me - is it?

I wasn't very friendly towards him after he spent so much time with his aunts and uncles and didn't even stop to see me until halfway through the second day of him being here. I understand that they are his family, but we have been together 2 years and have a puppy together so we are starting our own little family. I'm still in college and he just graduated so marriage isn't in the books for another year or two but I don't think it's too much to ask that I get just as much of his time, if not more, than them. Please let me know if I seem completely out of line...

[toshiba]

You sounds perfectly reasonable in your requests.

EDIT: So he lives with them during the week AND chooses to see them on friday/weekends instead of you? Why does he choose to see his family SO much? Especially considering you are not there with him, I would think he would limit the time. Talk to him and see if there is a way to iron out differences between the family and you, if not maybe set up some sort of every-other weekend arrangement if he insists upon seeing them so much.