Online Dating profile still active. Logs in?

[wouldlike]

So, in October it will make a year for my Boyfriend and I. Its been ok for the most part. We met online, and hit it off right then. After nearly 6 months, he broke things off. A combination of dealing with things with himself, and maybe a little insecurity. That didn't last long, he ended up calling to reconcile just a few weeks later. Anyway-the point of my question. He has never deleted his online profile. He still logs on I see somewhat frequent, but its not for long. I've talked to him about it twice in the past, each time its just" I log on to clear all the messages, I really don't know how to delete my profile." ( I figured out how to just fine)I already know its bull. But why? I don't think he's really talking to anyone else per-say. I really think he just likes looking and, sometimes the attention he may get. He's 41 I'm 33. He's not secretive with his phone, that I've noticed, and mostly when he leaves the room, or showers, he'll leave his phone next to me or on the coffee table. I have never-ever looked. (Honest) There's that saying, "you'll just end up finding what you're looking for." And the way my mind works, if I did look, he would have just deleted anything incriminating, anyway. Thoughts men? ( and women!) any helpful advice, respectful tips etc. Is he just bored? looking? Or is it more sinister. Have you men honestly just casually browsed online, nothing more, or less? Or is it his insecurity-if things don't work out with him and I, he can drive right back in?

[dontaskme]

There is nothing innocent with what he is doing. If he didn't care reading those emails, then there is no reason logging-in just to delete them.

[Wakeup]

He is with you. Why TF does he need to clear his messages? Just let them go dead and get on with his relationship with you. He's keeping his options open.

Ask him nicely to please delete his profile and if he needs help doing it you'll show him how. If he says "no" then just get rid of him. He's only there until someone else rings his chimes. Someone in a relationship has no business on a dating site.

[SuperHappyTime1]

He is with you. Why TF does he need to clear his messages? Just let them go dead and get on with his relationship with you. He's keeping his options open.

Ask him nicely to please delete his profile and if he needs help doing it you'll show him how. If he says "no" then just get rid of him. He's only there until someone else rings his chimes. Someone in a relationship has no business on a dating site.

Gonna call the "Clear his Messages" line BS too. Unless he's a perfect specimen of a man (i.e. makes Magic Mike look like a neck-beard like me), he likely isn't going to get messages unless he first messages another woman. If he was getting messages, he gets a notification to his email, which he would delete, and not need to log on to the site to erase it. If it is really annoying, there is EVERY reason to find out how to delete your profile or unsubscribe from messages.

Or he is technologically retarded and you should help him delete his profile the next chance you get.

[basilandthyme]

Gonna call the "Clear his Messages" line BS too. Unless he's a perfect specimen of a man (i.e. makes Magic Mike look like a neck-beard like me), he likely isn't going to get messages unless he first messages another woman.

Aggressive and confident women can and do message men first. I recently counselled a friend to not initiate ALL of the conversations with men she was interested in.

That being said, even if his inbox would full of messages, he doesn't need to read or empty them.

[smarta$$]

He's like a kid in a candy shop... always has his eye out for a better piece of candy...

[Red5Alive]

He's like a kid in a candy shop... always has his eye out for a better piece of candy...

That's basically it I'm affraid. I wouldn't say he want's to dump you but... Do you know about his previous relationships? Why did they end? I mean, they could've ended because he might be cheating, and a cheater will always be a cheater, no matter what. In my honest opinion he's just looking for some sex out of your relationship. I'm sorry but that's what I think. Your relationship might be going along quite nicely, he loves you, but he is "bored". I had a friend of mine who was in that situation. He loved her GF, but still he cheated on her. Why? He once told me something like this: you certainly have a favourite meal. Imagine yours is chips with some chicken. You love chips, you are glad every time you eat chips and you just can't get enough, but... would you eat chips everyday till the end of your life? Certainly not, because you'd grow tired of chips (you may have already notice that chips=girlfriend). Therefore, you have to eat something else in between. Rice, pasta, whatever (rice, pasta, whatever=other girls), just so you don't grow tired of chips.
I know it's a stupid idea, and in no way I agree with it, but I can see some logic in it to explain why some men behave like they do.
Could it be that you are your boyfriend's "chips" and he's looking to eat some rice? As cold and as stupid as this may sound, that might probably be the case.
Anyway, just try to tell him that you're not comfortable with his online profile. If he really loves you and has nothing nothing going on, he will do it straightaway. If he doesn't, and starts to argue, you definitely have a problem there.

[wouldlike]

I think you are totally right on with this logic. As a woman, I just can't understand why he would go through the trouble of basically just using me for sex, for one: he's brought me around his kids, I've brought him around my son.( We're always doing stuff together with kids when he has them on weekends)He's given me the key to his place. Said the I love you's. and talked a future together. When we had broken up in March, I could tell he really didn't want to-a lot of insecurities came into play with him from his marriage. But, night he did break up, he had cried more than I did. And sure enough, almost a month to the day, he had texted me to talk. He had come over and we reconciled. Why not look for someone else then, online. He had all the time in the world to? ( again just a question, since I just can't understand a mans logic, sometimes!)

[Red5Alive]

I think he really loves you. He wants to be with you, you're the one that matters to him, but maybe he's looking for some uncompromised sex. I won't say that's it, 100% sure, but that's what I think. Some men are able to do that, loving a woman but still able to go out and have sex with other women. I don't need you to answer this, you may keep it to yourself and just think about it: is your sex life good enough? Do you think you satisfy him? Does he satisfy you?