I think I'm addicted to his love

[Myx]

Hi everyone,

I've been dating my bf for 8 months. We're in our late twenties and it's a long distance relationship. We still haven't been able to meet in person, but we plan to make it happen within the next month.

My issue is that I haven't been myself this past week....possibly the week before as well. I'm getting really depressed at night, and I'm noticing that I'm really starting to depend on our conversations to break me out of it. I'm trying to stay true to myself; I explore my hobbies and try to concentrate on my work, but can't cheer me up. Everything is beginning to feel so empty to me, as his affections are the only thing that's strong enough to snap me out of my sad spells.

I have a feeling it's like an emotional high for me, and I'm becoming dependent on it. So much so that now if he comes online late at night and is distracted by typing to other people I get hit with another deep depression. It hurts, and I hate moping around like nothing means anything to me anymore..... So needy... It irritates me, and makes me feel incredibly foolish.

What do I do?

Now that I've typed this, I noticed something. When we talk, I feel like I'm the one pleasing him ...talking about all the wonderful things I want to do for him...he's excited but doesn't respond nearly as strongly as I do. I must be giving too much of myself away without receiving enough to refill me.

[TheEvilJester]

Do you have a history of depression? In other words, do you feel this way often? Or is it just recently as result of this relationship? If you have a history of this, my suggestion would be to seek out therapy. Don't misunderstand, I'm not trying to sound like I'm saying "You need help maaaaaan!" LOL! It's just, you shouldn't have to suffer through that alone. I know how you feel, as I've battled with issues like that my whole life. If you suffer from that in general, don't make the mistakes I did. I always battled it alone. Thank God, I've come out of it relatively okay, and I've always come back stronger than ever. The thing is, I probably could have done that SO much quicker if I'd gotten help.

If it is just the relationship that has you kind of depressed/anxious, then don't sweat it too much. That happens. Long distance relationships can be difficult. Honestly, my personal advice would have been not to have any kind of serious relationship until you can be geographically close. It is too late for that now, though, since you two already consider yourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. So, now my advice would be just to do your best to actually be physically together. A relationship cannot live solely online. The more you are close, the more you will be able to learn if the relationship is worth pursuing. If things go well, you will start to slowly feel less and less depressed/anxious because you will have less reason.

If things don't go so well, you'll know that maybe he wasn't the right guy for you after all. That will bring its own set of troubles, but after some time you'll move on from that and feel better. It's understandable that you feel a little depressed and detached when he is so far away. It can be hard not to let your mind go crazy and get jealous thinking all sorts of things that probably aren't true. Hopefully he proves himself trustworthy to you so you no longer have to stress about those things.

Good luck to you.

[solarion]

You're in your twenties and you've been committed to a guy you've never met...for 8 months? That kind of depresses me a bit.

Why would you both do that to yourselves?

[Wakeup]

Go see your doctor and tell him that you are falling into a depression. You must have something wrong with you (that hopefully he can treat) that would make you be in an online relationship for 8 months and without ever meeting you're now relying on this guy to make you not feel empty.

Unless you're Indian and the guy on the other end of your keyboard is the guy your parents arranged for you to marry... Why not get off the computer and find someone who you can hold hands with while you talk or actually have sex with instead of rubbing one out to words on a screen... words that are now dwindling.



Have you ever had the opportunity to even see this guys face?

[CaseySp]

What the others said were a little harsh, but I do agree with them. A long distance relationship which you guys have NOT met? You have to reconsider your priorities. His affection CANNOT be the only thing that snaps you back to reality.

[Wakeup]

Welcome to the forum, Casey. Fasten your seat belt.

[TheEvilJester]

Hey, I think for somebody named "TheEvilJester" my response was decidedly un-harsh.

[solarion]

I need help pls!!!!!!

Then start your own thread...don't threadjack it's rude.

[TheEvilJester]

Wait... Did somebody respond and then later delete their response? Solarion is chastising somebody for threadjacking (which is a big no no, by the way), yet I'm not actually seeing said threadjacker here.

[solarion]

yet I'm not actually seeing said threadjacker here.

This is why we cannot have nice things. ...and also sometimes why we quote people.

[Wakeup]

... ...

[TheEvilJester]

This is why we cannot have nice things.

Funny. The same thing has been said about my tendency to set things on fire.

....Wait. I mean, I don't set things on fire.

[solarion]

Funny. The same thing has been said about my tendency to set things on fire.

....Wait. I mean, I don't set things on fire.

Quoted as evidence. ...just in case something should happen to...spontaneously combust.

[Wakeup]

*laughing here*

[BigJadedheart01]

8 Months wow
We did the phone thing for two weeks and then it was ballgame.
Sorry about your depression. Totally been there.