Dealing with an clingy bro friend

[BigJadedheart01]

First off I'm new and I haven't been on a forum in ten years. I don't want to be a gossipy type, because my circle is kind of small, but I have a lingering issue that I could use some help/advice.

My boyfriend is a really sweet guy. He doesn't like fighting with people and he is prone to being a doormat. Ever since I got with him one of his friends has insisted on being around us 24/7. We have been living together for awhile now too. The three of us that is. For awhile it looked like things were getting better. He found a girlfriend and started clinging to her. He had even started moving out.

Then she dumped him and now we're back to square one. He always wants to know where we are and knocks on our door at inappropriate times. I don't want to break up with my boyfriend because I know its not his fault, but I wish he would set boundaries with the guy.

What kind of advice can you guys give?

[solarion]

Take your beta guy aside and tell him. Don't threaten him, don't challenge him, don't belittle him, and definitely don't attack his friend, just state your case for why his friend is interfering with your tranquility. It's plainly not something you're going to get over, so talk to your fella.

[PTAC12]

Just talk to him about it! Sometimes tough conversations just have to happen...as much as they might suck, it's just life. Also, food for thought: I have a roommate and his girlfriend is always, always over...she lives with us but she isn't paying rent or anything. Are you sure he knows his role, or are you sure he doesn't feel like you're the one who shouldn't constantly be around?

[smackie9]

You are just as involved as your BF is, so YOU step up and set boundaries with his buddy. Be pleasant about it but also be firm. Explain that you and your BF NEED personal space and that means if you both are not out in the public space in the apartment, that means you don't want to be bothered and that he needs to go find something to do on his own. If you are out, then again you want to be left alone. This doesn't mean he is completely out in the cold socially, you will still invite him to hang out at certain times.

I have a roommate tip: get one of those dry erase boards that has a calendar on it, put it on the fridge. Mark on the board the nights you want alone time with your BF. He can see it and know not to call you guys to see what is going on. Next, get one of those do not disturb signs for the bedroom door. I hope this can work for you.