advice for this love triangle :( plz

[miamark]

hey everyone m guin thru some serious isseus now a days i need some good advice plz help PLZ READ IT ALL N HELP PLZ!!!
my story is that it strts frm 2009 i met this guy "A" (cant mention names) he was a frend a very good person n after few months we strted liking each other i was very happy with him and then it began as serious relationship i was 19 then..any ways things were so good btw us he was perfect! then in 2011 somei=one else "S" prposed me i told him that im commited but he was like elder thn me 3-4 years was quite mature person he said he wnts to marry me n all.i was confused really confused n all my frends were like go for "S" he is mature setteled and he is in family it will b easy for marriage ul get engaged soon n bout "A" he is not mature n he is too young etc so i agreed to "S" propsal (the worst mistake ever:"() "A" was like messed up he asked me not to go but i did go i left him apprntly for no reason.. the it all began frm 2011 onwards till now.. for first 3 4 months things were fyn but thn argumnts and fyts followed..it began worst thn he was like very domianting he sent propsal in 7 8 months to which my family didnt agree n evry tym i sufferd i felt this is bcx wht i did to "A" i never was happi i always had this guilt! then there was no trust in our relation S nevr trusted me we foughy badly breakups n all. then he starting abusing me but he said he is frustrtaed n all bcz ov this rishta thing as my parents were not agreeing till now..he never let me go out wd my frends he did let me do job my social lyf my career was finished i gav up all just for thot k whn wel b married things will b fyn.. i wntd to leave him for this but he started blackmailing n i was afraid i cudnt he is like very possessv he said..so i just hoped things will b fyn but till now 2015 my parents dont agree iv took stand n all but nuthin is workin n we are just fytn like crazy ppl he abuses me say bad things to me n thinks im into some one n all.but i never twkd to ny guy whn i was with him.
then something again happnd in past few weeks "A" contct me i just chk my fb other msgs n there was his msg k m sorry if i ever did wrong to u i hope u r happi...n i just cried i beggef him to forgv me ;;( he said he already has forgivn..n thn i strted twkin to him n all..i was guilty i told him i didnt hav courage to contct him.. n then one day S askd for my psw n i was forced to give n he came to knew tht i was twkin to A but i del my convo so S changed my psw n used my id to twk to A being me.. n he said if i tell A he l do bad to me.. so he wnted to know wht we were twkin n S was telling him that we had sex bla bla n this was nwt true i never did such thing.. S nevr respects me i knew it but he can say this bout me i never thot this
then i stopped twkin to A n blockd him.. but again S n i had fought n he abused me realyy really bad n my parents were guinn to ans after 2 3 days.. n then i was broken k m takin stand for this guy who is abusing me still n he doesnt trust n respct me.. n i just felt this urge to talk to A n i strted chattin wd him n till now i twk to him its been 2 weeks now n i m feeling all that love all that happiness wd him he is in relationship A n things aint good for him either but we both tk n its so comfortable n nw wd him i miss my old lyf i wnt it back n wd this feel i cnt back to S i dun feel nything for him n he says he is sorry he cnt let me go he will do evrything to make me happi but i dun beleiv him.. i was never happi wd him..now i just wnt to b A :"( but there is no hope wd him he says he loved me so much but he cant marry me as he cant trust me iv lost it.. on other hand S also doenst trust me.. n now S has givn me 3 4 days to think n ans n he says if there is nyone else tell me il just leave but being wd u n knowing this that u dun love me nymore is very hurting..

NOW PLZ GUYS READ MY BORING STORY N PLZ GIVE ME SOME ADVICE WHT SHUD I DO NOW.. I LOVED S I DID EVERYTHING BUT I WAS NOT HAPPI N NOW WHN I TWKED A I FEEL FOR HIM AGAIN ;'( I CNT LOSE HIM EITHER N I CNT LET GO OF S TOO
HELP!!!!!!!!!!

[basilandthyme]

Your post is impossible to read due to the word abbreviations. Please fix your spelling and punctuation and I'll do my best

[solarion]

You indicated on four occasions during your story that S abused you. You claim he isolated you from your friends, didn't respect your boundaries, quite frankly it sounds like he treated you like property, so why would you want to continue that relationship? Then too, you said you were really happy with A, but you left him anyway for S when you were presented with what you perceived to be, a bigger and better deal(marriage). I suggest you take some time away from both of these seemingly very different guys and figure out what it is you want out of a relationship with either...or any guy for that matter. If your feelings for A are genuine and he still wants you after the way you've treated him then maybe there's something there for you, but figure out what you want or you'll just treat him badly again. Get your head clear, it's okay to be alone for awhile.

Good luck to you.

[Lwalter]

This kinds of relationships are the toughest. Follow your heart and use your brain and you will be fine.

[Wakeup]

Sorry!\ Your opening post is not worthy of reading in in it's present state.
I'll just assume, going on his past posting reputation that Solarian has good advise for you and you should just take it.

If you're going to respond, then please take the time to do it in proper English.

Mucho Gracious.