What to do about this???

[crispycritter71]

Had a blind date off CL last week, met at a festival. Spent the whole day together and it was the best day ever. She told me she just broke up with a married man after 5 year relationship bc of all the broken promises about divorcing his wife. She said once done with someone, she never goes back.

Two days later she told me she talked to and promised the married guy she would go back to him if he followed through with yet another divorce promise. Of course I was devastated,but I have not given up.

We went out again the very next weekend all day long 9 absolutely wonderful hours together shopping and talking, then ended up having incredible sex at my place. I normally would not do something like that, but the married guy forced me to decide that waiting might hurt my chances of winning this womans love. We both have an incredible attraction to each other and it was going to happen anyway so I took the lead and it was absolutely amazing...

So here I am, head over heals in love with a woman I just met, in my 40's, twice divorced, found the perfect woman, but the future of our relationship depends on whether or not this other man leaves his wife.... She really is the sweetest most beautiful woman in my eyes and I know she has been through a lot of emotional hardships in life, same as I have... But I keep asking myself, am I stupid or what?

I wanted to add that the married man has an open relationship with his wife and they see other people and are fine with it. So it is not a cheating and mistress type of thing. She wants commitment, that is why she wants him to divorce his wife.

[smackie9]

It's no wonder you have been divorced twice and infatuated with someone you just met that is not emotionally available because she is involved with a married man for 5 years.....you make stupid choices when it comes to women. You think with your emotions instead of thinking logically. Most men would be running for the damn hills from this woman.

You are a fool to get involved in her stupid mess of a life, she's got some serious baggage. Let her go and find someone who is STABLE and on the same page as you...divorced/single and looking for some companionship.

[crispycritter71]

Yup, you are absolutely right.. It takes my brain a long time to catch up with my heart and emotions, unfortunately.. First two wives were cold and non affectionate to say the least but I fell in love with them before I realized it.. This new woman knocked my socks off since she was overflowing with all the things I wished my ex's had been. Just to let ya know, I just broke it off with her and wished her good luck with the married guy. I did find out that my heart was not dead though.. It was totally by accident I answered her ad on CL asking for a companion to go with her to a festival because she would not go alone... I just wanted out of the house for a day and met the woman I had been dreaming of for years and years... Just my bad luck it turned out this way.. If it does not work out with her and the married guy (for real this time), and she calls, I don't think I could possibly refuse.. I am not holding my breath though...lol..

[smackie9]

There are many who are looking for what you are looking for....so you will meet her, just play it smart. Dating sucks because there is so much garbage you have to wade through to get to the good stuff.

I saw you posted over at the loveshack lol. I work both sites

[basilandthyme]

Just a comment about meeting the person you've been dreaming of -

The person you get to know in the first few days (months) is not the real person. It's that person on a happy, adrenaline, hormone fuelled high. It's them on their very best behaviour. You don't get to see the real person till you've been together for at least 6 - 8 months.

And the early feeling - it's infatuation, not love. Love is a calmer, deeper and more sensible feeling. Yes, that early infatuation is a glorious feeling and it's great to enjoy. But keep a small degree of skepticism until you've known the person for a year or so. As you keep making the same mistake, it's crucial that you learn to change your approach to new relationships.