I messed up badly, can i fix it?

[LuisLuna]

Well i had an awesome relationship, we had almost 6 years together, we broke up 11 months ago and she went into a rebound relationship that didn't work and then we talked and got back as a couple, We had the best 8 months of our lives, everything was perfect. Until a month ago when she got promoted in her job. She was spending from 12 to 14 hours daily at work and we never had time to be together and when we had the time she was lost, like thinking on work stuff and always on the phone. We spoke and i told her i felt she was losing interest. She said she was. After weeks of coldness and indifference we decided it was time to break up again. This happened last Friday. It was a very hard time for us, she said i was the best thing that could ever happened to her, that she will never forget me and that she hopes life would give us another chance in the future. We cried like babies hugging each other. I decided this time i was not going to disappear from her life as i did the first time we broke up. So yesterday i went to a party where i knew she was, i saw her and we only did the shake hands and fake smile thing. She then left the party. I was relaxed and having a good time with friends, she then sent a picture to a whatsapp group where we are (we share friends) of her and her friends in another party. I felt it like "hey look i am having a great time without you". So i felt angry and panicked... i had had some drinks and i made the mistake and went to the party where she was. I was thinking i am just going to come and say hi to the girls and just be sure there's not a dude surrounding her. I was kind of drunk and not thinking clearly. So i went and entered the party, was searching for them when a little man came to me and asked what i was doing, i said i was looking for friends, he asked me for my invitation which i hadn't. So he asked me to leave, i agreed and left the party but stayed outside, there was a lot of people outside the party too so i was with some friends. Then the little guy came to me again asking me to leave, i said i already left the party and that he hadn't the right to kick me out of the street. Then the security guy or whatsoever he was, became aggressive and started shouting at me. So i responded, then one of the girls (which i considered one of my best friends in life) came and aggressively asked me to leave. I said i was not doing anything wrong, i was just interested in seeing my ex. She said she didn't want to see me so i should leave. I agreed and started walking to my car, then a friend of mine said "leave them man, those boot licking security guards can kiss our ass" And the guard heard him, he went and tried to punch my friend and i was in the middle, i told the guy to calm down that we were already leaving and then he punched me in the face and ran. I was mad but went to my car and left, when i passed in front of the party door the guards started calling me things like "haha she rejected you" and stuff like that, so i stopped the car and said "what do you want f*ckers? i am already leaving" Then one of them pulled out a GUN and pointed me to the head (Where i live guns are SO ILLEGAL) I did shit my pants and raised my hands, i told him to please let me go, he then punched me in the face again. I was in shock, i saw my life in seconds. I had a panic attack, and did not know what to do, so i started calling her, a lot, she never responded, so i called her friend which is also my friend, she said "if you had a little chance to be back with her, you just messed it up" She also asked me to stop being her friend that she was in my ex's side and hanged the phone. I talked to her earlier in the afternoon and she said she totally supported me. I felt destroyed in the inside, and went to sleep, i could not sleep i was so afraid. Then my ex texted me asking me what happened, i said "I made a mistake, thats what happened, sorry about that" She then said she was so scared and nervous and that she was afraid of me. I told her there was no reason to be afraid of me, like she doesnt know me, i am a non violent person, and i asked her to please stop listening bad stuff of me from her friends, she said no one was telling her things of me, that she thought that for herself. I told her what happened with the seucurity guard and she said "you deserve that, you shouldn't have to be there" and then just said "go to sleep get some rest, i'm glad they didn't hurt you".

I am not ready to let her go, i still believe we can work things out, but i messed up badly yesterday, tomorrow is her birthday and i dont know what to do! I know she doesn't want to talk to me but i am pretty sure she waits for me to do something tomorrow in her birthday.

PLease help people

[solarion]

Given the messy situation I believe I'd wish her a brief "happy birthsuit day" preferably via text and then leave her alone. She said she was losing interest and she said you deserved to be roughed up, which given your story, sounds like a stretch. The point being that you cannot make her want to spend time with you. Probably not what you wanted to hear and I'm sorry.

[Wakeup]

Don't even send her a happy birthday text is my advice. You two have broken up. Not just once but now twice and it's time you started to realize that you two are not meant to be together. Leave her alone and start the healing process.

Block her feeds from all her social networking sites so you're not tempted to go where she is. Zero contact is the fastest way for you to get over her. Don't keep trying to hoover her back for round three of you and her not being able to get along or stay together. Doing that is abusive to yourself as well as her. I'd say the same thing to her if it were her posting here.

There is a girl out there that will be far better suited to you as a LIFE-mate. You'll never find her though as long as you keep this girl in your heart and head.

[idorea]

i advise you still stay as a good friend as you said you did not want to disappear from her life like you did the first time you guys broke up..