How is it that he has NO reaction to me telling him I have feelings?

[AshBern]

I told a guy friend I have feelings for him. He is kind of an awkward guy. His reaction was "ok." well i thought that meant he wasn't interested and that maybe he'd avoid me or be very awkward (since he is already) or uncomfortable around me. Instead he has been saying hi to me more and actually seems MORE comfortable and LESS awkward around me! but he hasn't asked me out and hasn't mentioned what i told him so i assume that means he is not interested. but how is it that it's actually less awkward? and how is that he had NO reaction whatsoever to what I said? how is he not uncomfortable around me? he instead comes right over to me, instead of avoiding me. He didn't seem that comfortable prior to this.

[Wakeup]

Why didn't you ask him what he meant by "ok?"

You were brave and you shared something with him but you weren't quick enough to ask for clarification? Ask him out on a date and see what he says. Maybe he's got social issues and doesn't realize that when you told him you "liked" him that you meant in more of a way then just friends? Maybe he's not awkward because you assured him that he was liked as a person. lol... You need to talk to him again.

When you told him that you "had feelings" for him, what exactly did you say?

[AshBern]

I thought it was clear enough what it meant and i felt I didn't need it spelled out. i told him that I care about him more than a friend. I used that phrase "more than a friend" i think he understood. he's not totally autistic. i mean he's just a little bit awkward. there's no way he didn't understand what I meant!

[bbbb]

He might be trying to act like that never happened and to cover up his feelings by acting all ok with you? It's really hard to say without knowing the person. If you are fine with just being friends with him, you can let it drop, but if you really *do* like him a bit more, you should probably try to approach the subject again, this time emphasising that you would like more than hanging out. See what happens then. Confrontations might seem scary but you will be relieved when it's done. Good luck!

[AshBern]

He might be trying to act like that never happened and to cover up his feelings by acting all ok with you? It's really hard to say without knowing the person. If you are fine with just being friends with him, you can let it drop, but if you really *do* like him a bit more, you should probably try to approach the subject again, this time emphasising that you would like more than hanging out. See what happens then. Confrontations might seem scary but you will be relieved when it's done. Good luck!

yeah i guess i could contact him. now i am scared because i don't want to be a pest. but i guess i just found it interesting because something awkward happened between us before and after THAT he seemed really awkward and uncomfortable, like he couldn't hide it. and this time it's like the opposite. you would think something like this would make him uncomfortable too! What i know about him is that, he does online dating, and only one time I've seen him flirt, and it was the girl who was flirting, and he just sat there like a lump on a log, and let her (who was tipsy) like, "do the work" so to speak. (and no this wasn't just some girl who he wasn't interested in. he saw her and mentioned the two of them matched on Tinder). He is good looking, but he comes across so awkward though, and I think maybe he like gets this sense of confidence by going on dates from online. I think it is easier to get a date online and apparently he goes out with people arguably "beneath" or who are "easy" - he'll go out with anybody from a 20-year old dumb college girl to a 54 year-old recent divorcee. A lot of them are the types to post scantily-clad photos on instagram or facebook to get male attention. So a lot of those types of women. (and no i don't think he is sleeping with all these people...but he is a man...I don't want to think about that) So a part of me thinks the explanation is that maybe when I said that, it boosted his confidence in the same way it does when he scores a date with one of these women. Like perhaps it's just an ego boost. (SEE: [url=http://relationshipsreality.com/serious-date-vs-serial-date/]Serious Date vs. Serial Date -[/url] ) I don't mind that, having said what I said, but if that's the case, I am not really wanting to pursue it any further. I took a shot and that's it. it makes me wonder if he and i were really friends because apparently he doesn't think it's ruining the friendship.

Sorry i hadn't added those details earlier. I just wanted to pose the question in more general terms to see if there was an obvious answer. I also think these details make him sound like a player, but he really does not come off that way. He is like overly nice. He is very thoughtful and a kind person. But when I think about this aspect of him it makes me like him LESS (another reason I am not going to go follow-up!) I actually think this serial dating is more of a way to boost his confidence than it is to score with woman.

So ironically it is MY ego boost to think it flattered him what i said, rather than make him feel uncomfortable.

[solarion]

Instead of all this useless speculating based on near zero information, why don't you just ask him how he feels about you?

[Wakeup]

Instead of all this useless speculating based on near zero information, why don't you just ask him how he feels about you?

Good question, Sol.

[AshBern]

Plainly because i fear rejection. And i told him my feelings and it had no effect. I guess he simy doesnt care. Why put myself thru unnecessary pain if his apathy will show. Like it apparently is already. I was hoping for a confirmation that he isnt interested. So i can move on.

[solarion]

Yes, match his perceived apathy with fear...what could go wrong?

"I guess" "apparently" holy crap, please tell me you're not really 30 years old?!?

[AshBern]

Why? I had bad experiences. Been cheated on. Bullied. So im emotionally stunted and inexperienced. Have ugly duckling syndrome. So what if i am 30? Are you going to focus on that or try to help me? I only asked this question because i am not sure what to do next. You are saying ask him? A friend told me itmeans hes not interested.

Why is the term "apparently" indicative of someone younger?

Also. He is older than me that answer. When i told guys my feeling in the past at least in those cases they were clear. And those were younger guys, when we were both younger. So what does age have to do with anything?

[Wakeup]

Plainly because i fear rejection. And i told him my feelings and it had no effect. I guess he simy doesnt care. Why put myself thru unnecessary pain if his apathy will show. Like it apparently is already. I was hoping for a confirmation that he isnt interested. So i can move on.

You fear rejection yet you were hoping for a confirmation that he isn't interested from strangers on the internet who have never met him and wouldn't know what his "okay" meant if our lives depended on it?

Just ask him how he feels about you and if he says, just friend... well then you have total confirmation from the horses mouth and you can get on with getting over your crush on him and move on then.

[AshBern]

You know what I think I am prepared to ask him for a follow up. I mean i put myself on the limb and I think I deserve a straight answer. I just don't know how to initiate this discussion. It would have to be via text because i won't be seeing him any time soon.

and i have been thinking about it a lot after reading this thread and getting angry. I am afraid to do it now because i will be unable to hide that.

[Wakeup]

You shouldn't be getting angry at him. It was You that didn't ask him what he meant by "Ok" which would have continued the conversation until you understood, one way or the other, how he felt about you. Be mad at yourself, then do what you need to do to be able to forgive yourself and get on with your life either with or without him.

[AshBern]

You shouldn't be getting angry at him. It was You that didn't ask him what he meant by "Ok" which would have continued the conversation until you understood, one way or the other, how he felt about you. Be mad at yourself, then do what you need to do to be able to forgive yourself and get on with your life either with or without him.

I'm asking you people what I should say to him. one of the earlier people said i should follow up and ask him what he meant. And i never said i was angry at him. I just said I was GETTING angry.(period)

Unless it's too late. in that case, that's fine.

[Wakeup]

I'm asking you people what I should say to him. one of the earlier people said i should follow up and ask him what he meant.

You should just ask him what he meant when he simply said "ok" then the rest of the conversation should present itself. If you don't understand something he is saying to you, then you ask questions until you do understand.

And i never said i was angry at him. I just said I was GETTING angry.(period)

Fair enough, then what IS making you angry?

Unless it's too late. in that case, that's fine.

I don't think its too late but by his lack of advancement and his seemingly indifference, I'd say that you already have the answer to whether he's interested in you.

Up to you whether you contact him for further clarification or not. If you do contact him, let us know what he says