Trust Issues

[Greenearrings]

Hello everybody, I have a question (may be a bit long) that is burning in my brain. My husband of four years (well, will be four years October 15th) and I separated back in February due in part to my recent disability (three back surgeries, possible MS) and different parenting styles. He and his two kid's mother have a lackadaisical approach toward parenting while I'm pretty strict with my daughter, requiring her to do chores and do her homework before getting on the computer or hanging out with friends. Also we just pretty much couldn't get along there for a while so we decided that separating so we could sort everything out would be a good idea. Well, we separated and I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back with him or not so I was a bit standoffish with him. He thought I didn't want to get back together so he started talking to another woman. One day a mutual friend said that he and this woman had spent a weekend together, outwardly I acted as if I didn't care, inside it felt like I got punched in the gut. I texted him and told him what I'd been told and he freely admitted what was going on. We talked later that evening saying that we'd give it a go and see what happens. I asked him to not communicate with his new woman during our "trial" period and he promised not to talk to her or even text her. Well, about two weeks later he said he had to go out of town for work (something that doesn't go along with the type of work he does), I was suspicious and texted him when he was out of town "for work" and straight out asked if he was with this other woman and he said he was. I told him then that if he wanted to try to fix our marriage that he'd come back in town immediately and meet me for further discussion. He agreed and was back that afternoon. I was less than pleased with his little venture and told him that during our separation I had several offers from guys but I told them I didn't know what was going on with my marriage so in fairness to them and me I didn't want to start anything. After this we decided that we were going to try and make things work and he promised he would call the other woman and tell her he was getting back with me and he couldn't have any further contact with her. I told him that I would trust him to do this and wouldn't hound him about it in the future. Well, this past weekend he said he was staying in a hotel near his job because they had a big audit going on and he'd have long hours and just didn't want to have to drive for an hour to get home. While he was at this hotel he wouldn't call me from inside the hotel room only while he was going to get something from his car, riding up in the elevator, or driving to work. I didn't say anything while he was gone. Well, he was supposed to stop by and see me on his way home today but he called and said that he was tired and wanted to go home. I got a horrible feeling in the pit of my soul and asked him via text "have you been dishonest with me about anything?" He texted back with "Saturday we'll continue your question and conversation, I'll pick you up around 10am." He also added "I'm not thrilled about the accusation."

He won't talk about anything now. I don't want to think it but I think he spent the weekend with that woman. He never denied it and it seems he wants to talk about it in person, which in my opinion means it can't be good. Despite everything I love this man through to his soul and to not end.

I just don't know what to think. During our previous three years of marriage he never cheated on me at all.

[AdminOnline]

Hi Greenearrings and welcome to Love Forum - Online Relationship Discussion! Hope you enjoy your stay here.