At A Lost

[Long4love]

I've never done this before but I don't know who else I could turn to, so I'm giving this try. Hey, what the worse that can happen? I have been dating this guy for almost a year now, but prior to us dating we have been good friend for at least 4 years. He's like my Best friend. I tell him everything, and he the same ( I would like to believe). Recently, I've been feeling like there's a distance growing between us and that he's starting to lie. I've believed to have caught him in a lie but can not prove it. I don't know if it's my woman intuition kicking in or if I'm just scared of getting hurt and tryna find a way out. I feel like the answers right in front of my face and just waiting for it to hit me to acknowledge it. I don't know what to think. I don't destroy a good friendship because I couldn't trust but I also don't want to be a fool who's blinded by love. What's your advice?

[basilandthyme]

What was this lie you caught him in and what were the circumstances? Did he have any reason to lie to you about what he was doing?

[Long4love]

What was this lie you caught him in and what were the circumstances? Did he have any reason to lie to you about what he was doing?

One time (recent) he disappeared. I didn't hear from him for 6 days and his phone was turned off. I called from a different number to see if my number was blocked or something and still no answer. Finally he called, but his reason to his disappearance just didn't sit well with me. For the first time I didn't remember it and I told him that. Afterward, our communication that was every day multiple time throughout day has decreased. The lie I caught him in was discovered during a casual conversation we were having. I told him his job is working him too hard. That he needed to take a vacation and that he hadn't taken all year. He informed be that he didn't during a weekend I wasn't aware of, in fact, it was a weekend that I couldn't get a hold of him. He hesitated and try to clear it up be saying he went to a relative funeral. I knew about that funeral but it was during a weekend and I have the text messages from him telling he was at the funeral and how it was which was on a Thursday and that he was returning that Friday. So I don't know what to think or do. A part of me feel like I need to look out for myself and step away. I don't like people making me feel like i'm crazy or that I'm imaging things. I have this gut feeling something is not right and that he's not telling me something. I feel like I should listen to it.

[basilandthyme]

I had a guy disappear on me for a couple of weeks once. At the time I recall being really distressed and worried that he'd do this to me. But then I learned that it was representative of his general behaviour - he did things without regard for how they'd affect others. After this, I added 'disappearing' to my list of dealbreakers.

"If it doesn't make sense, then it's probably not true" is something which is well worth remembering when in situations like this. At the very least, his disappearing act was rude and thoughtless (it could be a whole lot more too depending on what he was doing while gone). You've got texts with conflicting info about this funeral. And this supposed funeral weekend was another disappearing act.

I wouldn't trust him at all - and I don't think you're over reacting