he can't get me off..

[geminii2424]

okay so I'm going to try to explain this the best I can. I've been with my bf for 1 year & 8 months now. we have a very healthy relationship, I know I love him. he treats me great, does things for me, makes me breakfast, tries to make me feel good about myself. he's a great boyfriend except that..... he's never given me an orgasm. literally never. not from foreplay & not from sex. & he knows I've never orgasmed either, it's not like I'm sitting here faking it this whole time. he's well aware. I try to explain how I like it, & that I def need more foreplay, because I basically never get any foreplay towards me, but I go down on him lots. he almost still seems timid towards fingering me or eating me out. & I tell him to not be nervous & if he does ever try I tell him it feels good but he never does it for a long time. & then when it comes to sex, he doesn't last long in bed. usually from 2-5 min. & I can't orgasm from that cause it'll take me a bit longer. & then once he finishes it's game over for our sex for the day, I still go to bed unsatisfied. it's so frustrating because I know I can orgasm from sex because when I was with my ex bf I could orgasm 2-3 times during sex. so I know it's not that I'm incapable. I'm literally forced to just pleasure myself at home a lot because yes, I am a very sexual horny girl & I just don't know what to do

[basilandthyme]

Wow, you lasted a year and 8 months with this guy?! He must be awesome in all other aspects for you to put up with this.

Thing is, you've communicated what you need and tried to encourage him. But he still doesn't change. So, it's safe to assume that this is a window into your future. Can you accept this? If not, it's time to let him know that this issue is making you reconsider the relationship.

[solarion]

Surely there must be something you can do to help your minuteman out OP. Positions that allow you greater control, thick raincoats for desensitization, etc. Perhaps try to have a discussion with your guy about how best to get a woman off before you give up on him entirely.

[toshiba]

Try to keep working with him on this, he may be nervous as you said, and may not know how to go about pleasing you.

No foreplay and 2-5 minutes describe most men, lol. I go for the quick BJ a half hour or so before sex in attempt to last longer.

Perhaps masturbate a bit before sex with him so you are closer and can orgasm with him. The women I knew that came the most (and squirted) would rub her clit while we had sex, took about 4 minutes total, then I came.

[basilandthyme]

No foreplay and 2-5 minutes describe most men, lol.

No foreplay is your experience with *most* men? So sad for you toshiba.

[Wakeup]

Op: You have to teach him how to please you. He's not got the experience (I expect) that your last boyfriend had or he has and all the other women were just like yourself and you enabled him to be the lousy, selfish lover that you describe him to be.

Don't blow him anymore until he goes down on you.
Encourage him to go down on you and if he stops before you come, then end the session. You don't have to tell him you are, just get up and shower. When he asks you what you're doing (which he will) you tell him that when he stops, you assume the session is over.

Show him with your own hand how you cum. Have him watch you do it.
Be very verbal as he works on you to encourage him and guide him to what it is that will make you pop. If he's not hitting the right spot... tell him gently and softly and physically put his hand/fingers where you want them.

Don't let him inside you until you've had at least one orgasm during foreplay. Stop talking about it and show him in actions that the way he's been doing things stops now.

You can do that by maintaining the excitement and keeping the seduction going. Make it fun and exciting rather then demanding or curt or showing any frustration.

Good luck.