Single dad looking for opinions.

[Celticdevil]

Good evening....
I'm rather hoping to get some honest opinions from the ladies of this forum, allow me to explain...
I am a full time single dad to 4 children who all have varying degrees of autistic spectrum disorders, I have been very fortunate to have been in a relationship with a fantastic lady for the last 5 years, she herself has 3 children the youngest of whom is 18, that will become relevant as I continue.
Over the last few weeks she has become more and more distant, in fact I've not seen her for a month now, the main issue is around my children and the fact the they will never lead a normal independent life, they will always be reliant on me....she has known this from the start, she acknowledges that the children's behaviour isn't their fault but feels that she could not cope with them on a daily basis...I should point out that we don't live together.
As I've already said her youngest is 18 but mine is 11, she is now in a position to do what she wants when she wants with whoever she wants, I on the other hand do not have and will never have that freedom, I don't know at the moment what is going to happen with us.
Anyway the thing I would like to ask is this, firstly an opinion of single dads caring for their children and secondly opinions on whether you would get involved with such a man knowing that his children will always need him, and doing the simplest of things as a couple require more forward planning than a military operation.

[smackie9]

Sorry but it's going to take a specific type of woman to get involved with someone in your position. She would have to have a special needs child of her own, in order to understand the challenges you face....someone who will be on the same page.

Most women want to focus on a relationship, not challenges with children. A woman in your position would face the same challenges in trying to find someone too.

It's a tough one to say the least.

[Celticdevil]

Isn't it just....I'm not looking to start again with someone new, I dont have it me to start again, I just wanted to be with the woman I love....

[topazlight]

Why has it all changed now, what new problem has arose with you or your children recently, I say what new because she has been invested in and with you for five years you said, she knows all the ins and outs of what you deal with, so have you asked her what happened in HER LIFE this last month? If not ask her. Maybe it is something with her and not just about you and your children. Did she ever see herself marrying you, or living with you in the future?

[dontaskme]

Man, you're in a tough situation and sorry to say but if you really love this woman, best if you let her go to find happiness somewhere else. She's had her share raising and dealing with her own kids. It really isn't fair to expect her to deal and share your troubles with you kids. I understand your kids are your kids and you love them, but they're not her burdens to carry.

Like the other poster said, people are looking for relationships that are less complicated and very little drama, yours isn't that.

Sorry man, but you asked for opinion and that is that.

[Celticdevil]

Hi, thanks for replying to my post, as far as I'm aware the only thing that's changed in the life of the lady concerned is her youngest son turning 18, which now gives her a lot more freedom, she's keen to travel, keen for weekends away, things I'm not in a position to do....she messaged a couple of weeks ago asking me where I saw us in two years time, I replied the same way I always do, I told her that I'd like us to be living together and hopefully married, marriage is something she has talked about we even started looking at engagement rings.
If it wasn't for this woman I wouldn't be where I am today, she is my soulmate, my best friend and I love her, the thought of losing her is devastating....

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Man, you're in a tough situation and sorry to say but if you really love this woman, best if you let her go to find happiness somewhere else. She's had her share raising and dealing with her own kids. It really isn't fair to expect her to deal and share your troubles with you kids. I understand your kids are your kids and you love them, but they're not her burdens to carry.

Like the other poster said, people are looking for relationships that are less complicated and very little drama, yours isn't that.

Sorry man, but you asked for opinion and that is that.

All opinions are welcome, regardless of what they may be.

[nheeya]

We'll i appreciate her for staying with you for 5 years considering your kids situation, she must be in love with you then. But after 5 years and she's acting like that, maybe she starting to fall out of love. I'm sorry to hear you feel stuck because your youngest is still 11 and with their situation you have to look after them for the rest of your life. But that's what parents are for. We can loose lovers /girlfreind, they can leave us and hurt us, but our kids are the only people we can call "mine". Appreciate what you have, your kids are golden.