My girlfriend has become an inpatient for an indefinite time and I can't cope!

[melancholia]

Thank you for the update - best of luck to you, Krusty.

Big Love,
- Melancholia

[TheEvilJester]

All I can say is that I cannot imagine a man leaving a girl he truly loves just because she's mentally ill. Sure, it might be tough, but that's what you do when you love someone. You don't leave because it's too hard!

But yeah, maybe it would be best to just leave her. But please don't tell us you "love" her. Please...

Let me start off by saying no offense intended here, as I definitely understand how you feel.... However, this is spoken like somebody who has never experienced this for themselves. As lightstar said, love and life are simply not that black and white. You can love somebody and still know they are not good for you. I also certainly cannot speak for Krusty, but I sure as heck do not get the impression that if he leaves her it would be "just because she is mentally ill." Sure, if that were the case, I might agree with you. However, I think that would be putting it WAY too simplistically.

Hell, if he were going to leave her "just because she is mentally ill" he'd have done so a LONG time ago. Again, I can speak from experience to say the same. I put up with A LOT with my ex and still stood by her side. If I left my ex "just because she was mentally ill," I wouldn't have been with her for so long, or tried so hard to help her. In the end, not only did my ex refuse to fight for herself (and how exactly can you help somebody who outright refuses to be part of helping themselves), but she became abusive to anybody who tried to help, myself included. I've battled my own problems enough in life. Hell, that was part of the reason I fought so hard to stay by her side and help her through it all because I knew what it was like. Bottom line, though, she started to negatively influence every aspect of my life to where I was a miserable person and no longer liked who I had become.

I tried with every fiber of my being to help. Not only did it never help, but she refused to even try. Not only did she refuse to try, but she treated me and everybody else around her like part of the problem. So, I for one certainly did not leave my ex "just because she was mentally ill." I don't see how anybody could read Krusty's full story as he has shared it so far and draw that conclusion of him either.

[krustykrab]

Thanks for sharing, TheEvilJester.

To a certain extent, I wish I was in your situation at the time too, then it would be "easy" and somewhat reasonable to leave her if you know what I mean. On the other hand, my girlfriend is definitely trying hard to get better, even more than before because she knows it's affecting me too.
She recently created an online blog, in which she uses as a diary but makes it public so that other people around the world with DID could be inspired by her improvement over time (if and when that happens). I'm not sure how it somehow works out, but whenever each alter comes out, they will for some reason know what to do and make a diary entry with their names on it. It's almost like a form of communication between them, that is also accessible to the public (myself included).
I stumbled across one of my girlfriend's entry when one of her alters was scrolling through, my girlfriend had expressed alot of distress and a little bit of anger towards the alters for coming out in front of me and mentioned that she was afraid she would lose me. The other night she was almost crying as she hugged me and apologised for everything she's put me through (which isn't even within her control).

I've managed to make an appointment with a therapist who specialises in DID, and we'll both be going in together this weekend. Things have been changing so quickly over the past few days, and it's no longer as easy to leave as you guys say it is. If I really left her now, it would feel as though I want no part in being by her side to watch her improve or eventually reach full recovery.

To be as rational as possible, I guess I should still stick by my own words and carry on with my initial plan - make my final decision by New Years Eve and don't look back. However, given the current circumstances, would it be reasonable if I extended that period by a month or two and see how things go? Otherwise, she might already have to move out of my apartment in less than 4 weeks if I decide to end this relationship.

[smarta$$]

krustykrab, I am not trying to be unkind, but I want to be sure you are aware that "DID" is a very controversial diagnosis. Be careful...

[megvoh]

[MENTION=42177]pcmaster[/MENTION] - clear your messages your inbox is full .

Was trying to send you this message.

topazlight suggested a movie club - here's the thread link, wanna join?

She needs 5 or more, only 3 girls so far.


[url]https://www.loveforum.net/romance-love-movies-music-and-books/96807-suggest-watch-discuss-movie.html[/url]

[pcmaster]

Good that you found a therapist. Wanted to suggest it. Maybe he can help you to cope with it too.
[MENTION=80755]smarta$$[/MENTION] Hey do you think some people are faking it?

[smarta$$]

Good that you found a therapist. Wanted to suggest it. Maybe he can help you to cope with it too.
[MENTION=80755]smarta$$[/MENTION] Hey do you think some people are faking it?

Some people? Yes, but not all. I believe there are people who are genuinely mentally unbalanced who are diagnosed with DID. I just think this particular diagnosis is bullsh*t, and I am far from alone in this belief.

[TheEvilJester]

You mean DID in general, or in this particular case? Not being a psychiatric professional myself, I can't really comment with any kind of knowledge or experience. I must admit that the idea of somebody truly believing they become a completely different person has always seemed a bit far-fetched to me, but the human mind is capable of bizarre things, and when put in extreme turmoil can often create strange ways to cope. So, it is not for me to say whether DID is legitimate or not.

I will say that smarta$$ is right that it is a very controversial topic in the psychiatric world. There are professionals who do not believe it is real and those who believe it most definitely is real. Regardless as to whether it is or not, the important thing is that anybody exhibiting those kind of symptoms is doing it for a reason. Meaning there is something bad enough that it caused them to need this coping mechanism, whether or not it is within their control. So, either way the goal is to get to the bottom of what has caused the issue and what can be done to heal and repair it.

Best of luck to you, Krusty, and to your gal. No matter the specifics of her condition/situation, it cannot be an easy road she has ahead of her. I wish her all the strength in the world to finally beat this once and for all, and I wish you all the strength in the world to do what you feel is best for both you and her.

[krustykrab]

Thanks guys. You guys have been a great support in the last few weeks to me!