If a man realizes there is no chance of getting sex, will he drop the friendship?

[fubbydubby]

Let's say a guy and a girl are friends for years and they are close, too. It is a fun friendship that consists of lots of laugh, fun and the ability to be totally stupid and silly around each other. Let's say the guy has a girlfriend and the girl is single.
After a number of years, he realizes that she is not the type of girl to have sex with a taken man and that he will never in fact, be able to boink her.
He then becomes distant and doesn't talk to her as much.

I want to know from the male perspective:
-Did the man become distant because he felt the friendship didn't mean anything to him?
-Does this mean that the guy didn't actually enjoy her personality, the memories, the laughs?
-How is it possible for a man to be so close to a girl/enjoy the friendship and then be so quick to drop her once he realizes there's no sex coming out of the girl?

[lightstar]

only an individual can answer those questions. Maybe the gf put her foot down and told him the friendship is inappropriate so he has to choose between you

[fubbydubby]

only an individual can answer those questions. Maybe the gf put her foot down and told him the friendship is inappropriate so he has to choose between you

Lets say the girlfriend has nothing to do with this. What about then?

[Lilly328]

Yes, some men can do that. Maybe he ain't getting any booty from you. Why do you want such a friend? Do you like having the attention like that?
Is this the dude who's married with the blueballs?
(From the guy next to me, I should make him an account :/)

[fubbydubby]

Yes, some men can do that. Maybe he ain't getting any booty from you. Why do you want such a friend? Do you like having the attention like that?
Is this the dude who's married with the blueballs?
(From the guy next to me, I should make him an account :/)

It's not about having attention. He's still in my life and talks to me, but a lot less than before. I am only asking this question to find out if he actually ever enjoyed our friendship. I feel as though he had lots of fun and memories with me, yet the distance is making me question it. No one is answering that one question. Does he just not care about who I was as a person, my personality, character, the fun times we had? What about all that? I'm not looking for a relationship but I just want to know why men feel the need to not hang out with a girl just because she's not giving him sex!

[lightstar]

I think you need to grow up! when men get in a serious relationship, their main priority should be their PARTNER! Not some other ho that is pining after them.. Seriously??

[SuperHappyTime1]

Let's say a guy and a girl are friends for years and they are close, too. It is a fun friendship that consists of lots of laugh, fun and the ability to be totally stupid and silly around each other. Let's say the guy has a girlfriend and the girl is single.
After a number of years, he realizes that she is not the type of girl to have sex with a taken man and that he will never in fact, be able to boink her.
He then becomes distant and doesn't talk to her as much.

I want to know from the male perspective:
-Did the man become distant because he felt the friendship didn't mean anything to him?
-Does this mean that the guy didn't actually enjoy her personality, the memories, the laughs?
-How is it possible for a man to be so close to a girl/enjoy the friendship and then be so quick to drop her once he realizes there's no sex coming out of the girl?

The taken man needs to realize that unless he drops his gf, he is taken and shouldn't be trying to boink another woman unless she is trying to get a ménage à trois. So good on the single woman for keeping him honest.

For your questions from the male perspective:
-People try to form relationships for a few reasons: Is she fun? Is she funny? Is she rich? Can she make me rich? Can I have sex with her? Can she help me find a friend to have sex with? If he became distant because he asked for sex and got denied, that was probably the driving factor.
-No, he may have enjoyed a lot of those (but somehow, not enough to dump his gf for you)
-There's a difference between "I will literally never have sex with you" and "I would have sex with you, but my lifestyle circumstances make this impossible". I find it ironic that the latter is true based on the above, but he interpreted it as the former.

[basilandthyme]

It's not about having attention. He's still in my life and talks to me, but a lot less than before. I am only asking this question to find out if he actually ever enjoyed our friendship. I feel as though he had lots of fun and memories with me, yet the distance is making me question it. No one is answering that one question. Does he just not care about who I was as a person, my personality, character, the fun times we had? What about all that? I'm not looking for a relationship but I just want to know why men feel the need to not hang out with a girl just because she's not giving him sex!

I'm sure he did value the friendship. And then he started to want more and it ceased to be *just* a friendship. When he realised that it was no longer just a friendship and nothing more was going to come of it, he did the only thing he could - which is walk away.

I also agree with Lightstar - it would be inappropriate for him to continue a friendship with you when he wants more.

[nheeya]

Unfortunately some men are like that. It's a very sad thing but at least you know who are worth keeping as friends.

[Wakeup]

Perhaps its none of the things you're saying and he just become distant because his girlfriend has taken up his time and he its appropriate for him to change the dynamics of his opposite sex friendships when he becomes involved romantically with someone.

If you think he's gotten distance because he tried to get sexual with you and you wouldn't let it happen then yes... the friendship was all a farce from the beginning.

Did you have more then friendship feelings for him?

[fubbydubby]

Perhaps its none of the things you're saying and he just become distant because his girlfriend has taken up his time and he its appropriate for him to change the dynamics of his opposite sex friendships when he becomes involved romantically with someone.

If you think he's gotten distance because he tried to get sexual with you and you wouldn't let it happen then yes... the friendship was all a farce from the beginning.

Did you have more then friendship feelings for him?

Him and I met through work. He was my boss and mentor and throughout the years, we had grown to be great friends. Just a half year ago, I started to develop feelings, but soon dismissed them because I knew he was married. My gut tells me that he genuinly enjoyed my company and my personality. In the past, he's said that if he was single, he would have chosen me.
It could all be a lie, but I don't know. It just seems odd for a man to chase a woman for sex that long.

- - - Updated - - -

I'm sure he did value the friendship. And then he started to want more and it ceased to be *just* a friendship. When he realised that it was no longer just a friendship and nothing more was going to come of it, he did the only thing he could - which is walk away.

I also agree with Lightstar - it would be inappropriate for him to continue a friendship with you when he wants more.

When you say "he wanted more" do you mean that he wanted more just sexually? Or do you think he has feelings for me as well?

[Wakeup]

Oh god woman. Stop looking to hear what you want to hear. This man is married. You have no good business wondering if he had feelings for you too. Nor will getting validation about that bring you anything good. You let yourself fall for a married man instead of distancing yourself and thereby doing what you could to squelch any crushy feelings you had for him.

He's married. Perhaps your attention was being enjoyed as he went home and fantasized about you while he made sweet love to his wife.... It doesn't matter what speculation we can come up with, the point is that he is distancing himself now PROBABLY because he knows you have crush on him and he's doing the proper thing by distancing himself so that YOU get over your feelings for him. He's smart enough to know that you can't nor should you try, to be friends when one or the other has more designs then just buds... particularly when one or the other is taken and loves their spouse/partner

[basilandthyme]

When you say "he wanted more" do you mean that he wanted more just sexually? Or do you think he has feelings for me as well?

I wasn't there and I'm not him so I can't begin to tell you what he wanted. I simply think that he got to the stage where walking away was the wise option.

[TSD]

My experience is after friends get married, they completely change like their lives. Many close friends become distant after marriage.

[Wakeup]

[url]https://www.loveforum.net/ask-a-male-forum/96758-guys-guy-friend-claims-avoids-due-blueballs-real-reason.html?highlight=#post1021331[/url]

Here's your other thread on the same subject. Let this guy go. He's trash and the fact you're pining over him doesn't say much about you and your personal boundaries and sensibilities. Water rises to its own level so be glad he's ghosting you because surely you don't want to be associated with trash.