I miss my ex girlfriend really much

[roberto1]

Hello all. I have something i need to speak about. I split up with the girl i loved really , really much one and a half years ago. I split up with her because she found a new guy and treated me horribly ( really cold and distant, made me feel like nothing) . I have the full story in my other posts if anyone is interested. The fact is that i really loved her and she broke my heart. Even a year after the break up she kept giving me messages and signs, saying she was sorry for what she did and that she wants to see me, but i didn't respond. After that i decided to block her everywhere and ever since then no signs of her. The fact is that i really miss her so much sometimes. I had some great times with her and probably idealized her a lot. From the moment she told me she found another guy i cut up all contact with her, but the hard part was that we were college mates and I still had to see a lot of her... It was so difficult. And she is the only girl i really loved. I dont know, i dont like missing her, i feel weird about it. She treated me so badly ,but i miss her like hell sometimes She even told me she misses me before i blocked her. I had a girlfriend during the year and a half, and now i am dating another girl , who is really nice, but i still miss my ex. Do you have any advice? I try not to hear news about her but we had many common acquaintance and it is really difficult not too. I don't like missing her, especially now when i have a new girlfriend. What should i do? Is it normal? I have a job, go to the gym, travel a lot, meet a lot of new people, but still miss her so much once in a while. I'm tired of this. I feel like she ruined me sometimes. I usually start to miss her when i hear about her, see or hear things that we used to like ( songs, movies etc. , especially songs) , or when i get into a new relationship.Thanks for the help ! I

[nheeya]

It's very unfair for your girlfriend right now that you are missing your Ex. Maybe you need to talk to your Ex for closure, because it seems like you were still hanging right now.

[Wakeup]

No, you don't "need" to talk to your ex. What you need to do is accept that you are better off without someone who left you to be with someone else... Realize that you deserve better then wanting a skank like that and to put your full focus on your new girlfriend.

You need to immediately change the subject of the ex when she pops into your head instead of wallowing in your melancholia over her. She's trash, man... view her that way and take her down of the pedestal you keep her on.

[roberto1]

yes, but sometimes i cant just help it

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No, you don't "need" to talk to your ex. What you need to do is accept that you are better off without someone who left you to be with someone else... Realize that you deserve better then wanting a skank like that and to put your full focus on your new girlfriend.

You need to immediately change the subject of the ex when she pops into your head instead of wallowing in your melancholia over her. She's trash, man... view her that way and take her down of the pedestal you keep her on.

thanks for the advice. That is what i try to do but sometimes it is just so difficult.

[TheEvilJester]

Of course you can't help it. You once loved this girl. You once thought she could be "the one." So, of course it is perfectly normal that you are having these feelings. What you need to remind yourself, though, is that you DO NOT miss HER. You miss the her you thought she was. She never really deserved you. A good person wouldn't have cheated on you. You deserve better than her. What you really miss is the way she made you feel when you thought she was the person you wanted to be with who could make you happy.

Some other girl WILL make you feel that way some day, and it will only grow stronger and stronger. It sounds like you are not over your ex right now, so having another relationship may not be for the best right now. Any girl would deserve a guy who can give her their full attention.... who is madly in love with her and only her. Right now, that can't be you because you still have unresolved feelings for your ex. Believe me, that WILL go away in time.

I think I lean towards agreeing with Wakeup in that I don't think it is a good idea at all for you to talk to your ex. I think it is best for you to keep her in your past permanently. She had you and tossed you aside heartlessly for some other guy. She doesn't deserve you. How could you ever trust she wouldn't just wind up doing the same thing to you again?

For now, you need time to deal with your feelings and get over your ex. I know it has already been a while, but sometimes it takes longer than others, especially in a situation where you were hurt so deeply by somebody. You will get over it in time and then the new you will wonder why in the Hell the old you ever let her bother you so much when she obviously didn't deserve you in the first place. What will REALLY help you to understand that is when you finally find the gal who DOES appreciate you in the way you deserve. It's just, you're not going to see that until you've been able to move on from your unresolved feelings. Otherwise, you run the risk of missing your true match because you are still wondering why things didn't work out with this loser who never deserved you anyway.

Good luck to you.

[roberto1]

Thank you very much for the advice. Hope it will pass soon.

[TheEvilJester]

Time heals all wounds, friend. Just don't lose the valuable lesson of who/what you DON'T want in a partner. Wish you didn't have to learn that lesson the hard way, but if nothing else, hopefully it at least taught you that you deserve better than somebody like that. Good luck.