40 year old man with breakup question

[TG87]

I am a recently divorced man with kids. I had been dating a woman who has kids of her own. This woman seemed to be perfect and she told me over the last few months that she was falling in love with me, that I was so perfect for her, amazing and someone she could see herself marrying one day, someone she never thought she could find. Out of the blue, she told me that the relationship was not going to work out because her kid did not like mine and she has to make decisions based on her family, not on her feelings. She said if we did not have kids it would have been perfect. I was completely blindsided and don't understand how you can throw away someone that you said was perfect because at this point her kid did not like mine. Does this make sense to you? Or do you think maybe she never really had those types of feelings for me? She cried when she ended it and seemed sad about it. I just don't understand how you can walk away from someone you love because her kids did not like mine. He liked me, isn't that more important? Thanks, I am just really broken up because I am tired of getting hurt.

Thanks!

[smarta$$]

It depends on WHY her kids didn't like yours.... are your kids decent people? Are hers? (be honest with yourself) How old are these kids?

It is true that one should take the needs of their children into consideration when considering remarriage. After all, they would be family.

On the other hand, it would be very easy to blame the kids if one were to have a change of heart, and lacked the courage to just say so.....

On a separate note, don't you think if you are "recently divorced", it is soon to be thinking along these lines, anyway?

[TG87]

My kids are great, just as hers are. She has a son who is 12 from a previous marriage and my kids are younger 5 and 7.. She said her son did not like her having 2 other kids from marriage # 2 that are 2 and 4 but she told him he would have to deal with that. By recently, I mean a year ago, so not that recent. I guess I will never know the real reason, that is the hardest part. I would hope what she says is true but I will never really know. I just don't know how someone could say all those amazing things and then just walk away. For what it is worth we were great until my kids met hers for the first time. Then it ended

[smarta$$]

DOn't allow your kids to take the blame. It's not about them. She just changed her mind. Kids as young as yours are rarely THAT much of a problem. Hers (at the age of 12) would be much more likely to be an issue.

[Relationship T.]

It is very difficult dating women with children. But, women of all circumstances go through paradigm shifts.

She felt infatuation for you, no doubt about it. It is critical for you to understand that it may not be over. It is possible that she let her emotions do the talking. Stay calm, collect yourself and accept her answer. For your best chances of continuing to date her, stay in touch and invite her to spend time with you on occasion. Do NOT attempt to convince her that she is wrong.