Originally Posted by
blue102
I've been married to my husband for 12 years and we have 2 wonderful kids. Our marriage seems okay for the most part.
I suffer from depression and have recently developed a skin disorder which causes me a lot of embarrassment. I have gained a lot of weight from being on the depression medication. I am no longer the pretty, thin young woman he married, and my self-esteem is suffering a lot.
I just wonder if he loves me. He never calls me from work (well, never has, actually) unless I am having a bad day and text him first. He has never ever been romantic. But lately he's been much less so. He seems to enjoy hanging out with the kids, watching cartoons with them, rather than with me.
This morning he told me of a dream he had.... where he was rescuing some co-worker of his (an attractive single woman) from enslavement by his boss. I thought that was super weird.
He is not the type to have an affair (actually I have considered affairs before, due to his lack of attention). But I can't see him doing it.
I hope to lose the weight and fix the skin problem this year so that I'll be more attractive to him, but I don't know what is going on in his head.
He tells me that I look fine, and he does want to have sex on a regular basis.
What do you think?
I think you should work on your self esteem and depression with a therapist, get back to your preferred "bedroom weight" by joining Weight Watchers or Herbal Magic or something similar so that you have the support you need to accomplish your goals and to get to a dermatologist as soon as possible (if you're not already seeing one).
Start to get back an emotional connection with your husband by proposing to him that you two have an (without the children) in house date night once a week starting with having a nice dinner together then maybe playing board game together or cards or something where there is no T.V. so that you are focused on interacting with one another AND that you get a sitter and have an outside the home date doing something fun together at least once a month.
You've both just gotten complacent in your relationship. That doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it just means that the two of you have forgotten how to nurture your relationship in order to keep it fun and exciting.
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion