I'm bad at dating and would like advice

[someguy21]

I have dated before, but pursuing a girl is definitely not my strong suit. My last girlfriend made the first move on me, and any girl who seems remotely interested me loses interest when I don't say or do anything. Anyway, recently I went to a bar with my friends and I thought the bartender was pretty. I know bartenders tend to be generally friendly, and probably get hit on a lot, but this isn't a very big or popular place. We talked and got along. I added her on facebook and asked her to go see my friends band play at a local bar, but she said she had to work that night. I'm not sure if that was her way of rejecting me, or if she would be open to hanging out at some point in the future. I haven't seen her since. She also lives on a college residence, where it is very easy to hookup, so I wonder if there's another guy that she may be involved with. What should I do?

[smackie9]

Don't go for women that are pretty much unavailable to you, especially ones that say "Hang out". A bartender is a bad choice, they work nights.

[someguy21]

I wouldn't say she is unavailable most of the time. I live across the street from the college and the bar is walking distance from my house. She doesn't work every night, and when she does it's not usually too late. But yea I know what you mean. I have known bartenders to be really nice, but only for a good tip. I don't really wanna give up on this just yet, but I'll be cautious.

[amj1979]

I have dated before, but pursuing a girl is definitely not my strong suit. My last girlfriend made the first move on me, and any girl who seems remotely interested me loses interest when I don't say or do anything. Anyway, recently I went to a bar with my friends and I thought the bartender was pretty. I know bartenders tend to be generally friendly, and probably get hit on a lot, but this isn't a very big or popular place. We talked and got along. I added her on facebook and asked her to go see my friends band play at a local bar, but she said she had to work that night. I'm not sure if that was her way of rejecting me, or if she would be open to hanging out at some point in the future. I haven't seen her since. She also lives on a college residence, where it is very easy to hookup, so I wonder if there's another guy that she may be involved with. What should I do?

If a girl is interested she won't simply say, "I'm not available." She'll make it known she wants to get together another day. "I can't tomorrow night, but are you available later in the week?" Something like that. I wouldn't worry about whether it's another guy; my first read is simply a lack of interest. But as Smackie9 said, bartenders are not the easiest people to date. In addition to their nocturnal schedules, they work in a position where it's their job to flirt with guys for tips. Not the easiest pill to swallow no matter how self-confident you are.

[myers5061]

You may want to learn a little more about dating before rushing into it. Try looking up Nexus Date blog, it's got some nice tips for beginners.

[sabaazam]

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