So I have been dating someone a girl exclusively for a couple weeks now who I met on OKcupid – we are not in a relationship, just not seeing other people. We have gone out on 3 dates and we have also invited each other over a couple evenings. Things have gotten sexual. Some of the things we are talking about are a little serious and it makes me uncomfortable… I just want to take things slow and I am not ready to rush into a relationship. We have discussed this, and I thought we had a mutual understanding, but the way she is acting indicates that she does not agree with me.

She keeps bringing up OKcupid in conversation and it seems like she is trying to make me jealous, but I am not. I don’t mind if she gets messages from other guys, but I don’t want to hear about her messages on almost a daily basis; I don’t talk about mine, but I really am not interested in meeting other people because I like her. That’s not even the real issue though… The real issue is that she is using these messages to bring up that she would like to close her account – which she brings up more and more often. I am reading into this and it is bothering me because I feel pressured to close mine, and by that she is pressuring me into a relationship. Leading up to this, I tried to casually suggest we don’t talk about OKcupid. The first time I told her I feel pressured about it she told me I am misinterpreting her actions. I don’t believe that is true because I have a gut feeling.

So we had sex this weekend, and we both really liked it. But the next day we were texting, and she told me that she felt more connected to me. This made me really uncomfortable and I tried to play it off with a pun (I said “Cum again?”). She confronted me because she was upset that I didn’t take her seriously and respond how she expected. I told her straight up that things are getting too serious too soon and I think at this stage it should just be playful and fun. So she changed the subject.

Last night she brought up OKcupid yet again, and I told her, slightly annoyed but in a joking manner, “If I had a nickel for every time you brought it up, I would buy you a lifetime subscription.” She got upset, which I feel illustrates that I am not misinterpreting her actions. I told her to just tell me what is really on her mind... She said she is upset at me because I did not take her seriously when she said she feels connected to me the other day. I responded by telling her that she is not respecting my wishes to move slowly and I pointed out the things she is saying, like revealing he feelings for me, and that they put pressure on me. She called me… I did not pick up because I am starting to feel like we are talking/texting too much, and she is not my girlfriend so why should I bother having all this back and forth with her. She has been blowing up my phone with text messages ever since. Some of the messages aren’t very nice. I feel like she is trying to guilt me into responding. I haven’t yet responded, but I am starting to think she will continue pressuring me and acting this way, so I am not sure if I should continue spending time with her.