I have been with my husband for over 8 years and have two boys together (7 and 2yrs). We separated once before because he was physically and mentally abusive about 5 years ago...we got back together because I still loved him and he said he wanted to change.. He did for the most part, and everything was good for a while.. About a year ago is when we started to really have problems again.. This time because he was a very jealous person, and he didn't want me hanging out with any friends. He told me he just didn't like my friends and didn't trust them.. But I have had these friends from before I even met him. I just felt secluded.. I am the type of person who can make friends with anyone and see the best in people. He is he complete opposite.. I love to go out and meet new people and see the world, and he sees that as a threat, that I'm not a good mom for wanting to spend time outside of the family. He said that because I'm married, I decided to give those things up. He has told me before that I am a horrible mother and that I shouldn't be married if I want to leave the house.. he has also told me before that he is only with me for the kids.. Later he told me he just said those things out of anger. But I can never forget them. I can't be intimate with him any longer because of the way he has treated me. And that also puts a strain on our relationship. I find guys attractive and think about having sex with other guys, but not with him anymore. I broke down a few weeks ago and told him I can't do this anymore, that I still love him, but I am not in love with him anymore.. We always get into a fight and I say it's over, but he always says he'll change, and we're good for a while, but then he goes back to his old ways. I do everything for him. I work 6 days a week, I cook every day for the family, I clean , i take care of the kids, but i just feel alone.. He has been getting better since I told him how I feel, but I still don't feel any of the desire coming back. I feel like it's never going to get better. I feel like I just gave him too many chances and I'm pretty much over it. But I've been crying the past few months every night contemplating leaving him. I don't want to give up, but if I'm not happy, should i still try? When does someone say enough is enough? It hurts more because of he kids . What should I do? Should I give it just a little more time? I'm so confused ...I need any and all advice.. Thank you..
-sleepless in Los Angeles