Here we go again....

[RobW]

My Fiance/Exwife have been together off and on, off and on, and again for almost 6 years now. At this point I know no matter what happends we're always going to be at least friends. BTW I'm 28 and she's 24.

Well we were talking about Wedding rings again today, and somehow wound up talking about breaking up in which we did. Not that it's going to change anything though....

The whole total commitment thing is somehow beyond us. I know she's the one for me, and vise versa. But like I said in my other post, (in the dating forum), that I knew I was in this for the long haul. Her family and her friends think I'm a creep and I'm an outsider in their world and I know that I will never be able to change that. My girl never even bothers to defend me to these people so they actually don't know the whole story. Read my last post for more info.

Well today I actually think might be the last goodbye. I keep asking her, why do you keep me around? She believes in me more than anyone else, but I feel that I'm keeping her down. I'm not a Christian, and that is a huge issue with her, and she wants to continue with her quest to come closer to her faith. I thinks that's a great thing for her, I just don't really know how to share it. And if I went to church with her as often as she did, I know these people would like me and would see me as the person I am.

We have split up so many times on this very issue, as I try to continue to understand why is it she isn't with a "Nice Christian guy"? (Can this be a rescue complex?) Yeah I'm the father of our beautiful 2 year old girl, but she fears her parents lose of approval and what not. I just don't see why she really wants me around. No one ever in my life has been so good to me, and with the guilt issues I have had all my life, I find it hard to handle. I feel like a freeloader or something.

Well, the day ended with her crying, and me holding her, and telling her that everything will be fine. I keep telling her, her faith will keep her strong, and what not, and that makes it so much harder that it actually is.

We are the best of friend first and foremost, but what makes it so hard is that we both believe that we are soulmates. No one I have ever known has ever wanted to be that close to me.

Honestly, I see no end to this cycle of crazyness as I feel that in my heart that, no one could ever care for me like she does, even though I know it will.
Like all idiots, I keep holding on to a dead relationship as it were solid gold, thinking one day things will lighten up, and we'll be together. The thing was, I knew this when I signed up for the hole deal.

I just need some support, and maybe some advice. Althought I am sure what I would say if I heard this from someone else. It doesn't make it any easyer. To be honest I don't think this is the end....and I may be dragging a dead issue not into the ground, but under it.

I'd just rather go out in a blaze of glory, in a arguement to break all arguements, to give me the emotional strength to say ok....let go now.

Thanx

[giulia]

You need to slap yourself in the face. She obviously loves you and wants to be with you from what i can see, but here you are with no confidence and some real issues. You need to get your head screwed on tight, or this girl is going to dissapear. It's your fault it's like this, so fix it. I'm sorry if it is harsh but it is the most honest response

[Junsui]

Are you just responding to every thread?

[shh!]

RobW, I remember reading your other thread about this issue, and all I have to say is that considering how religious she is becoming, unless you are Christian I don't see how this can work out. Most extremely religious Christians believe you will be going to Hell because of your lack of faith, and no true believer wishes that on their s/o. If you cannot persuede her to embrace a more liberal denomination (and I wish she would since you have a child), it doesn't look good to me.

[Rosebud]

Shh is right about the religion being a factor in this. Because she is very strong in her faith and you are not, and even though you would be more excepted if you did change your ways, you should not change your beliefs for anyone. That is who you are and they cannot expect you to become what they want.

It's always hard when there is a child involved in the mess as well, and with you saying your in for the long haul you pretty much already are because of this child. No matter what, you guys are always going to be in each others lifes. So I think it's just imparitive that you both stay open with each other on both of your goals and what you guys want out of life and go from there. Because even though you love her, you can't just wait around for her to come to you with open arms.

By the way even though it wuld be easier to get over if you guys had a big huge breakup with arguments that's not the best thing since you also have to look out for your child's best interest as well.

[RobW]

Sorry, I didn't post back right away, I have been real busy with a lot of garbage and crap. I believe Giulia hit it right on the money. I really lack confidence and this has become a huge focus of mine. I have put all other issues on the back burner. And since my computer has become toast, I won't be able to check my messages as often as I like, and I can't use the internet at work for personal stuff...

Thanks for the advice....

[giulia]

Are you just responding to every thread?

Am i really?

[Junsui]

Am i really?

lol I dont know