Broken up for a couple months want her back need advice

[Ilovegage01]

So me and my ex were together about nine months. She was my boss. I m 36 she is 40. We started off slow as both of us were not interested in relationships, we started going out and fooling around then one day she wanted to be my gf. We moved in together and were inseperable. We had good chemistry, great sex and common goals. Im not gonna go to far into details but basically I got fired, got depressed and turned needy for the last month and it pushed her away. We broke up, and this time it was different as usually within a couple days of a fight she would call and we would make it work. Im not a needy person normally and shes use to guys that always call her and chase her and i just never did that and I think that is why she fell for me. So for a couple weeks I tried getting her back but when i reread the texts holy crap I was just a big puss. I read those texts and I snapped out of my depression, started hitting the gym again and didnt talk to her for a week, and then she text me and wanted me to go see her. She called and told me she loved me and wanted to be together. This was last saturday, then last monday i went and seen her, and she was a wreck, wouldnt let me look at her face etc and told me how good i looked now ( i was out of shape but a couple weeks in the gym and i am back to the old me), and how she was just gonna bring me down.

She knew I had been dating, but I told her i would give them all up to be with her. She called me that monday and we talked about us and I was suppose to call her back but I was kinda busy. I didnt speak to her nor did she try to text until thursday night she sent a text saying :"good to hear from you" I replied saying "youre suppose to love me" and she said " i do" I said I cant tell then nothing after that. Do I go nc for a while> I dont want to lose her but obviously she doesnt miss me enough to call me to want to hang out. She told me monday she wanted to start dating. She says one thing then acts completely different. I have been dating other girls but it just makes it worse, it makes me miss her, but I have been trying to patch things with her for a month and im not going to be the only one trying anymore. So do I just go NC? I am good at giving advice to others but when it comes to my own relationships I suck.

so does her texting me saying good to hear from you mean she still cares?

[Jlovebird]

Not necessarily. It probably means she feels bad about the situation or there is left over guilt. She might want more closure, but if she isn't chasing you or sending direct signals she wants you she probably deep down doesn't want to get back together. She may try a little to make herself feel better, but if she was completely sure about you she would let you know.

[bloodtippedrose]

I am confused, how long have you been broken up? Its been two months?

How are you the only one trying if you don't call her, you just wait for her to call you? You being aloof might have attracted her to begin with, but once you get into a relationship it becomes a dance, a give and take. How do you make her feel wanted? Especially if you were dating other people so fast. That would completely put me off.

It sounds like she couldn't deal with the stress of you being needy and depressed, I have been in your shoes and it puts alot of strain on the partner, so she ditched out and regretted it. Maybe she felt guilty for ditching you when you were in need, or perhaps she felt lonely afterward. But as soon as she saw you already dating other people and getting yourself back into shape, she felt like she contributed to your depression and will only drag you back down again. It doesn't matter how much you say you love her, your actions have shown that you're doing better without her. What are you waiting for? Get your ass over there with flowers and woo her if you want to be with her. Make her feel desired instead of this guilt tripping "youre suppose to love me" whiny shit. Only go NC if you are absolutely sure that you don't want to be with her, because that wont make her run to you anymore, it will only push her away further.