I am 25 and She is 26 and we know each other for almost 3 months,

[Maged-84]

Me and her work in the same company not same department not working together, I am kind aloof person, she is pretty more sociable and ENGAGED, it started when we talked couple of times, I grew feelings for her intensely and in no time, don't know if she knows it or not but she initiates conversations with me almost daily for hours expressing once that she feels like she knew me long time ago, insisting to know what may bother me asking me not to lie to her, sending gestures that she knows, showing interest, i saw it, others saw it. After one week She told me that I look like I am in love and she knows who i am in love with when i accused her with bluffing she assured me that she knows. Nothing bond us professionally, we even in two different offices and yet she pass by my office almost everyday at the morning to see me and say "Bonjour" with that sweet smile of her and i catch her sometimes giving me fleeting glances and she came and stayed with me at my office couple of times, and most of the rest of the day she is online chatting with me, I don't know if I may call her behavior was sort of flirtatious.

when I confront her with what she does she show disappointment in me and how I see it but she still around and she call it FRIENDSHIP, she sort of clingy when I hopelessly tried to stop this she insisted to know why I cant talk to her after she saw me talking to other ladies. after couple of weeks i have reached my emotional peak and told her how much i love her and now i am on all my way down, she dodge it but she showed interest, although she denied her knowledge which she assured few weeks ago denying even having a guess which left me very confused almost on the edge of losing my mind doubting my own senses trying to believe her as i didn't know why she would do that, she doesn't need to do that, her responses fluctuated from changing the subject then she blamed me for it, to "may be" then she showed helplessness by not knowing what to do for me and every time i think that this is the end of it but somehow we get back together and start again the endless loop of me having hope every time she came back reestablishing a communication while I expect that she should not and here again she is letting me down. she would accept more to flirt with her and show her how i find her pretty or say something that imply that I love her rather than telling her "I love you" as she told me once she knows but I don't have to tell her.

while our ambiguous kind of relationship kept on, i tried again to put an end to it by asking her if she doesn't care if her man know about this, she respond that there is nothing he would be told about!!! I seized a chance that she took few days off for medical reason and didn't contact her, she came back blaming me that I didn't ask about her while everyone else did, she makes it very difficult for me to cut her off, and nothing of what happened bothers her enough to do so. In order not to indulge with more suffocating details, which are many, i hope that this sum it up for you to help me and tell what this is.

what is this ? whats in it for her to be in a relationship like this with all its dispute risking her official relationship ? How isn't she fed up of this ? because I am fed up,

PS. She proclaim that she loves her fience.

Your advice are much appreciated

[Kates David]

She merely seems to be using you to bolster her ego. I say merely, because there is quite obviously no genuine interest in you. Her ego is fed on the first level by your love, and on the second by your suffering when she withdraws her interest. It might be that she has been treated/is being treated similarly, and so is doing this in order to off set its negative impact on her. Why not ask her if this is indeed the case. If so, once she knows that you are on to her it is quite likely that she will come clean. From here a genuine relationship on her part may consequence.

[Maged-84]

Thank you very much,

[Maged-84]

I am sorry I need to understand, why is her behavior full of these contradictions ? I mean she rejects me but she still wanna talk to me, she threatened me that she will never talk to me again when i was telling her how much I treasure her and she came the next day and ask me how I am doing and being presistence to keep the relation, she tell me that I should not tell her that I love her while she has no problem being in a relationship with me while she knows I love her and act coy when I say something subtly flirtatious to her (I don't flirt usually), she sometimes mimicking my word and tell me see we said the same word at the same time as if she somehow implements this deep connection, she told me that I matter to her and she said that she tolerates my rudeness (sometimes when I have my moments) like no other distinguishing me from others, I need your opinion as I know I wont get start answer from her. Please help me out to understand as I am no more able to make sense out of it, I am totally lost, I dont know which of what she does I should believe

[Kates David]

She does n`t reject you overall, she requires you, she requires you to bolster her ego, she needs to feel that she is "ok" There are no contradictions, there are her needs, and then there are her actions, and they appear to be operating in accord. I see no suggestion of any contradiction. Simply aim to make sense of her actions - She does need you when she claims that she needs you, and when she rejects you she needs you just as much again, for she needs a lovers reaction, she needs to feel ultimately wanted/worthwhile. Your reactions to both her love of you and her rejection of you are enabling her to mend. The exercise has nothing to do with her caring about you other than her pretense of so doing. This is her self therapy, and she is doing a good job of administering it. I can only speculate, obviously. Girls with these skills seldom require counselors. I would wish to try and support her. It is likely that you will at least establish a worthwhile friendship, taking it of course that you prove strong enough to ride this out. The vast majority would fail such a test. See how she reacts to my suggestions.

[Maged-84]

would you please clarify more how my friendship will support her ? And why do you see that she need any support ? for what ? I have been thinking about it I dont know if I can manage to be her friend but I have no doubt that it will call for hell of self control and discipline and telling me why I would do this will help alot