Does he like me??

[Mrsmoo]

Hi everyone,

First of all, this is a complicated scenario....as I'd imagine most love life situations are haha and secondly he is already in a relationship.

It's easy to sit and say I would never get involved with someone who's already taken. I've said that for years, especially having been cheated on in several relationships myself. One that utterly devastated me too. Anyway....I've fallen for a taken man. You can't ever help your feelings but you can help your actions...so if I knew he did like me back perhaps I would consider the scenario and possible outcomes before acting!!

I would like some advice or opinions on what people think his feelings are towards me.

Here's the situation:

I'm 35 and he is 20 years older. (I have always been attracted to and been out with older guys)

I have been his personal trainer for about 20 months now. Since he first came for his sessions we have got on really well and seemed comfortable around each other. I always thought he kind of had a soft spot for me during the first year or so but I didn't really think anything else about it as I knew he was taken and had moved back to the area to be with his girlfriend.

He is divorced and been with his girlfriend for about 4 years. He moved back to here (his hometown) and moved in with her about 3 years ago, they haven't bought anywhere together.

After the first year of coming to sessions with me he had about 3 months off with an injury where i didn't see him at all. During this time he added me on both Facebook and Instagram but we didn't have any interactions online apart from him liking a couple of pics when he first added me to Instagram.

Just before last Christmas he txt and asked me to take his son who's 13 for a couple of sessions, which I did. When he brought him he came in with a big bottle of expensive champagne for me for xmas (which I guess some people might do as a thank u). After Xmas he txt and asked me for some sessions as he was back in action.

When he came back it seemed a bit different. I realized I had kind of missed him and we seemed to get on a lot better than before. Even though we got along easily before I was always very professional and quite formal. It seemed a bit different and we were almost talking to each other like friends do and with a little flirting and banter. That has got a but more extreme now the more time we have spent together.

We have loads in common and when I'm with him I feel like we could keep talking forever, it's so easy around him. He always seems to remember intricate details I tell him and sometimes brings things up I've spoken about ages ago.

Since we've been getting on better there has been interaction on social media. If we have a particularly fun session together he then seems to get super keen on social media liking all my posts etc for a few days but then just seems to stop. It's very strange. He's done that at least 10 times now. He's my top liker on Instagram and likes about 80-90% of my posts. In my head I kind of think is it normal for a guy in his mid 50s to like his personal trainers posts if he doesn't fancy her?? Non of the other guys I take ever really like any of my posts!!

Also since he's come back from injury he has multiple sessions a week, sometimes 4 or 5. Before he used to do 1 or maybe 2 max a week.

When I'm with him he always has the biggest smile on his face and seems so happy. If I see him in the cafe at the place I work he will always be looking at me across the room and looks like he wants to talk to me.

I have tried to hint multiple times that I fancy him in an indirect and non unprofessional way. Usually in my txts about sessions etc I can be a bit flirty. He puts kisses on his txts. Sometimes though he takes ages to reply to messages or doesn't txt back at all!!

For example two days ago I got an anonymous donation for quite a lot of money on my just giving charity page for an event I'm doing. In my head I guessed it was him. I txt him to ask if he had donated as I was trying to find out who all my anonymous Facebook donators were to thank them. He then replied that perhaps that's why they wanted to be annonymous. So not answering my question and staying mysterious!!

I then found out it was him. I txt to say thanks with quite a flirty txt but he didn't even bother to reply!! Which I think is quite rude?!! Why sponsor me more than anybody else did if u don't want me to be thankful? I know he probably wanted it to be annonymous so that his girlfriend wouldn't see it which is fair enough.

Sometimes I think I should be more forward in person. I try and be professional, so if we didn't have any social media interaction etc he would have no clue I liked him
By the way I act in person. He's quite shy so I would imagine if he did like me he would hide it too in that way.

I guess at the end of the day he is in a relationship with someone else and living with her and he wouldn't want to risk that. Which most people wouldn't.

What I don't get is if he does fancy me which it comes across as he does, why does he not txt me etc or engage in the carrots I've been dangling.

Any advice or knowledge shared would be grately appreciated!!

Thanks!!

[melancholia]

I think you should leave him be. He has a girlfriend and he really hasn't acted in any way that would suggest he wants to date you or take your relationship anywhere but professional. He may be a flirty guy, lots of people are and they flirt with everyone. I do, even though I have a boyfriend. To me, I would think he might be into you if he actually did anything that would suggest he does. Outside of your training sessions, you two don't interact at all besides social media, which really is not an indicator of feelings or emotional attachment, or even sexual attraction.

I think you need to work on getting over your crush on him. He's clearly in a relationship, and you are treading in dangerous waters. If you can't keep it professional and if your feelings continue, then I would suggest dropping him as a client. The last thing you need is the heartbreak of him rejecting you, or the headache of starting an affair and dealing with the fallout.

This says bad idea written all over it. Sorry if that's not the advice you were looking for, but there are plenty of fantastic men out there who aren't in relationships, and who actually show their interest in you through actions you don't need to read so much into.