Hopeless Romantic

[meloveu]

One would be surprised the number of relationship I’ve been through that I would have figured love by now; yet I still question what is true love. Is it companionship? Is it the mental security that someone is thinking about you… Is it the fear of being alone?

Time and time again, I learned everything relationship and experience is different and there is always a new lesson to learn. Regardless, I still believe that everything happens for a reason. Like an equilibrium, life always has a way of working itself out. I’m a hopeless romantic. I dont give into love so easily but when I do, I seem to always get burned. And how the one I thought I would be with forever, always tend to be the one who disappoints me the most.

What am I doing wrong?

[SillyWilly]

Love is a mysterious thing. Life is a mysterious thing. You know what you have to pick yourself back up and believe. There is someone out there for you and you will find them. And most importantly, be yourself.

Best wishes

[TheEvilJester]

Honestly, love isn't really ever something that can be defined. It can be different for each person. Heck, it can be different for the same person in different relationships and/or stages in their life.

I, too, am a hopeless romantic.... so the most important thing I think folks like you and I need to learn it so balance out that romantic nature with realism as well. If you let yourself fall too much in your romantic nature, you just open yourself up to way too much hurt way too easily. Don't get me wrong. It is okay to get a little lost in that romantic feeling and to enjoy the Hell out of it when you have it..... but you also need to engage your logical mind to know that there could always be the chance of it proving not to be what you thought. You can't let yourself get too lost in the romantic that you miss signs that maybe the person is not right for you after all.

It's too late for me, but I would be willing to bet it is not for you. You WILL find the right guy (or right gal, if that is what you want) some day. You will find the person who won't abuse your good natures, and only wind up hurting you. Again, though, I think the most important message I can pass on to a fellow hopeless romantic is to realize you are that way.... so to be extra careful not to let your guard completely down.

That isn't to say you don't allow yourself to love anybody.... far from it, in fact. You can enjoy your romantic nature and when you crush on somebody or are actually with somebody, enjoy every moment of thinking "Oh my God! I'm so in love! This person is the one!" You can enjoy every moment of picturing your happily ever after together..... you just also have to listen to that voice that is there to protect you. That says to you "Just be careful. Maybe this person won't turn out to be who you think."

What are you doing wrong? Nothing. I think you're just letting the wrong people in. Unfortunately, though, you never really know they are the wrong person until you actually DO let them in. You will some day find the right person for you. In the interim, all you need to do is to learn to stop thinking somebody IS the right person too easily. You can proceed with the hope that they are... but you need to also prepare yourself for the possibility they will turn out not to be after all.

I know that is so much easier said than done. I wish I could offer specific advice on HOW to do that, but there really is no easy answer. Trust me, though, you CAN do it. If you do, it makes it so much easier. You can learn to have the best of both worlds..... having that amazing feeling of being madly in love with somebody.... but at the same time knowing that you'll be okay if it doesn't go well with them after all. Hopefully some day you will be able to quiet that doubtful voice forever when you finally DO find the right person, though.

Good luck to you.