Anyone and everyone please help, I don't know where I am at.

[Bubblesnbows]

Hi there, if you are reading this then thank you, I have hit a bump in the road, my tears have dried and i need some advice from anyone that is able to give it.
I have been with my partner since 2011....... I have two teenage sons from my previous marriage that live 8 days a fortnight with their dad and the rest of the time with me. My other half has 1 teenage son and 9&10 year old girls. This year his ex left her husband and packed up her daughters to move in with us full time. Their son (15) still lives with their mum. It has been a rocky road on and off from the start, i have depression which I am medicated for and for the most parts I keep myself in check.
I'm really struggling with the way my partner speaks to me and what he allows in our life, he calls me names when I try to speak with him about what is on my mind an then becomes very angry and says if I don't conform he will leave.
His ex is always needing something from him, money, favours etc and he does it for the kids but when is enough enough, when does one realise they are being taken advantage of, his daughters are even aware of their mothers never ending drama, just not him. He says I need a coping mechanism, I received text messages from her or someone that knows her this year, telling me to step aside so she can take back what is hers and also I'm going to be dead ad lots of horrible names, my partner tells me to let it go and get over it, please can someone tell me how to do this?
I sought out counselling at which point I get teased because now I am a know it all when I try to apply strategies my therapist suggested.
Everything I do is wrong, I ask how to fix things and he just says by keeping my mouth shut..... How can I make him hear what I have to say without getting angry and abusisve..... It's breaking me.

[TheEvilJester]

To be perfectly honest with you, my personal advice would be to leave him. He doesn't deserve you. He sounds abusive and un-supportive. It sounds like you already struggle enough as it is with depression. Your partner should be the one who helps you with that the most, not somebody who just makes it even worse.

What's more, you are NOT wrong to feel like it is not okay how much he does for his ex. Don't get me wrong, he definitely should do anything and everything he can to be there for his children.... but that does not include bending over backwards to accommodate his ex, nor does it involve neglecting you while practically treating her like she's still his wife. I can't even begin to fathom what in the Hell would make him think it was a good idea to allow her to live with you. How in the blue Hell was that not 100% out of the question to him?

Frankly, it doesn't sound like he appreciates you or treats you well, and I doubt that would ever change. Not only that, but you shouldn't have to drag somebody kicking and screaming into that anyway. You shouldn't have to basically force him to treat you properly, that should be a given.

On a side note, how DARE he belittle you for trying to fight for your own happiness and well-being. If you were smart enough to seek out professional help when you needed it, you should be applauded for that, NOT ridiculed. So many people suffer in silence when they shouldn't have to do that. Good for you for trying to get help. Good for you for fighting for yourself. Don't let anybody make you feel like there is something wrong with you for that.

So, though it may not be the advice you wish to hear, I can't really personally offer anything else. I think you deserve better and you'd be much better served to leave him and move on. Take some time to grow and heal and re-learn how to be happy just with yourself. Then go back out there and find somebody who truly deserves you and would never dream of taking you for granted.

Good luck.