Is she into me?

[Nate99]

Hi there!

Sorry for the extensive post, I just wanted to get this off my chest.. During the past few weeks I feel that I'm falling into a huge crush with my female coworker. The girl is 7 years older than me, I'm 29, she's 36 and married with a child. I've worked in the same company before as an intern for a couple of months, this year I got fully employed.

When I first met her there, almost three years ago she was not yet married or had children, and although she was already aiming towards marriage and family, female colleagues always jokingly teased her about her having a hypothetical "crush" on me even though I was too young for her, about how great I was for her etc (this all happened in front of me). Back then there was no actual flirting, just a sense of her being fond of me.

Fast forward to today, we've spent the past 4-5 weeks working closely together on a project and I must admit that I've fallen for her big time. None of us has been intentionally flirting (definitely not in a sexual way) with each other and the relationship is strictly professional/socially friendly, however I feel a very strong chemistry between us. During the first few days working with her, while distracted and looking at sth else, we both reached to grab a document from the desk without looking and we accidentally "held hands", funny thing is it felt so natural, none of us said a word and just withdrew hands after a while, never came up again. She touches my hand and arm occasionally when making a point while talking. There have been two or three occasions where we were talking and looking at each other, then we'd stop talking and she would keep looking into my eyes (for a prolonged time) with great warmth and a very soft and sweet smile on her face, as if she was trying to communicate something to me. Almost as if she was admiring me, as if she couldn't take her eyes off mine. In these occasions I try my best to hide my feelings by not allowing very long eye-contact, while I never ever touch her during convo; I feel as maybe I come across as shy and she may have gotten a hint I like her though I do my best to hide it.

I would never ever get involved with a married woman, I value marriage way too much to betray my own principles and I consider her strictly off limits. I've promised myself to forget her and move on, I don't want to hurt anyone and I honestly wish her the best with her husband and family. I also know she would not betray her husband by seeking an affair, she's not that kind of person and I know her pretty well. For what it's worth, my instinct tells me that she likes me in the sense that she would like me to be her boyfriend if the circumstances were different. The thing is, despite all that, I find my self dying to have an answer as to whether she likes me or not, just to have some closure on the issue. I know it doesn't matter and makes no difference since nothing is never going to happen between us, however I don't think I've ever felt this way before and part of me just wants to know... I just want to stop wondering, accept this for whatever it is (either she does like me or i'm just imagining stuff), and move on with my own personal life. I could never ever ask her of course, so any insight on this one?

[JimBo90]

Firstly, I wouldn't say that you are too young for her at all. 7 years isn't much of a gap.

I also want to say that you should leave her marriage be. You are dealing with a family, not just a woman. She has a husband and a child, and you should be respectful of that. If she was planning on getting a divorce that would be diffetent, but please don't wish for a family to break apart just because you have feelings for this woman. If it's meant to be it will be. If not, then please respect her family.

[pcmaster]

That moment when she smiled and looked in your eyes - thats when she stole your heart, also touch messed up your head as well. Talk reality with her - say what is up and what you think, whats bothering you and your principles.