So I started as this guy's friend and it was kind of a natural progression of us seeing eachother and having sex. I'm a persistent person by nature and thank goodness he's finally a man that says he likes that I initiate. He's been nothing but a sweetheart, always texting back and communicating. We have a great time together and have a ton in common. He left for tour for three weeks and we remained contact almost everyday and he even initiated a phone call. It's been about 2.5 months since we started seeing eachother and one night at his show I got a bit too drunk and apparently lingered around after the show (FYI he's a big drinker, more so than I). I was in blackout mode at this time and so my friend got me all worried the next morning when she said "he wasn't even acknowledging your presence, it's like he didn't want you there". So I confronted him over text and basically he said "I didn't mean to make you feel that way, I honestly was uncomfortable and it felt like you had this expectation of me wanting to treat you as my girlfriend, and I'm socially awkward". I spoke my piece defending the fact I had no expectation on the count of my state of mind and wish he'd just been honest with me and told me to go home cause I was too drunk instead of avoiding me, and he apologized and agreed. But we both realized the underlying issue of this misunderstanding was us needing
To have the "what are we" talk. Let me back track. A few days before I was honest with him about feeling that I was alway initiating and I didn't want to be a nuisance to him. Basically he said "you totally haven't been a nuisance. I like how organized and punctual you are. I'm just in slow mode right now based off my terrible past track record I don't know how to be in a relationship (he was in long term relationships where she ended up cheating and he would back) but I like you a lot I know that."
I understood and respected his view and agreed to let him initiate. So after this night we decided to talk face to face. Basically he was like "I'm not ready for a relationship and I hope you know that. I like what we're doing and I like you and doesn't mean that it won't turn into something down the road. I just need time to figure my out" he also opened up to me about some things personally that were stressing him out that put him in a funk, which I thought was huge that he opened up about.
I expressed my respect for him having to figure himself out and agreed to take things slow. But I also said, I don't want to feel like I'm wasting my time and would like to explore my options in the meantime. Meaning, go on dates with other guys. This also helps me take off some of my attention on him. He said "if you want to do that, that's totally fine. I'm not seeing anyone else right now just because I'm just doing me and I'm not the type to pursue (which is true)."
So since then, I've texted him conversationally, but never initiating to see him, and he did the initiating. (We have scary movie Monday each Monday, which he asked me about). Yesterday I was feeling exhausted and sad from the election results and we were chatting and he said "are you okay do you want me to bring you some food?" So he came over and bought me a pizza. Today I left for a flight that I had to leave for at 3am. He drove me to the train, which was so sweet of him. I asked him to watch my cat and he willingly accepted, I left him a key to my house. (Oh, and he left a toothbrush at my place like a week ago)
So I'm just so confused. I know this guy cares for me, I can tell. I've had so many conflicting pieces of advice some telling me to not wait around, some telling me to just take it slow, do your thing and see what happens. That's what I'm leaning towards. But I'm just wondering will he ever come around? All his actions feel like that of what a boyfriend would do. It doesn't seem like he doesn't want to be with me cause he's not into me, I don't sense that. I'm willing to wait and honestly I think it's too early to jump into anything, too. He's been so understanding and sweet. I just know men can say these things to keep us around and see what they can get away with and they don't wanna hurt us. But I really want to take his word for it that he will come around. Help!!