what's going on ??? 😢

[orlandodave]

I just need some advice....about 4 -5 months ago I met a girl online. She was in NYC and I am from Europe. I was planning on moving to NYC so I went online to meet some people before I moved. I met a girl living in NYC and we hit it off...started messagng occasionally and then whatsapped and skyped. We got on really well and got close. I was coming to NYC to follow up on work and we arranged to meet. She had booked a flight to Ireland for 2 weeks after We met on NYC before the first meeting . We met and go on really well and fell for each other. We spent two weeks in NYC and I had to go home but she followed me 2 weeks later and spent another 2 weeks here. It all went well. posting photos on facebook of me and her...Being intimate. She was telling me she never met any guy like me and how she never met a guy she felt as strongly for. Meeting her grandmother / family was talked about.

When she flew home things went well..we skyped spoke about me coming back and going to Oregan , spending holidays together, she said she was thinking of that but three weeks after coming back she mentioned her feelings had changed and she doesn't have romantic feelings for me anymore ( I had no suspicions she was gonna do this, i did suspect something was up 3 days before but before that it was love talk )...she said cares but all feelings are gone and even admited it was abrupt. When I asked why she said we are not good enough long term, Other reasons were certain things I didn't do ( when I did ) and it was all fast ( she mentioned meeting family and when I came to oregan ) .

She mentioned her parents and family have history of bad relationships and her last BF 10 years ago something similar happened and he begged her to take him back and she did and everyone got hurt more...If she had felt the way she did about me she surely would of talked to me and not sprung it on me. She broke it off 3 weeks ago and 2 days after she told me she sent me an email just explaining all the long term stuff again and I went no contact , give her what she wanted..then after about 10 days she sent me a text saying its obvious I didn't want to talk to her and wouldn't contact me again unless I intiated it..I texted her back and we whatsapped for a bit she mesages me saying she was crying everyday missing me and thinking of me constantly but it was still the right decision and I told her i had a funeral that week..she asked if she could call me. She called me the next two days asking how I was..we spoke briefly and i kept it a minimum ( less than 10 mins totalled ) . 5 days later she texted me saying she was thinking if me and if i needed anyone bc of funeral ( that was 2 weeks ago and last week she liked a post i had on facebook. Its been over a week since any contact.

Any contact since breakup has been Her. Her reason for breakup is we are not right in long term but still says she has never met any guy or felt for any guy the way she does me. ????

Friend of mine made a good point...if this girl said the way she felt about me was real...only man she said she can be herself around....never felt as strong for any man before..surely that is the right person for long term.

Is it just me....don't know how female mind works...anyone feel something is going on ????

[Markdg61]

Hi Dave, I understand what you are going through. I had a similar relationship with a woman, a so-called long distance relationship. We lived very close to each other but I am a long haul trucker and away from home for long periods of time. I heard almost the exact words from the woman I was with, she never met any man like me, how happy I made her and how much she loved and adored me. This is of course made me feel like I was on top of the world. I was planning on changing my life around so we could be together all the time. I too met this woman on line and our relationship only lasted 5 months then one day walked out of my life. In a text no less...

I was completely devastated and in some ways, I still am. It took me a very long time to analyze just exactly what happened and what I had found was that she was very insecure. She manipulated my feelings because of the things she said. She wanted to get married in the worst way and I said no, it was too soon to think about it. Now two months after she broke up with me, she married her cheating ex boyfriend. There's the insecurity and the more I think about it, she was not a very nice women. Because I loved her so much, I put blinders on.

Because our stories are so similar, I feel it's possible this woman is the same as the one I was with. I could be wrong.

My advice is to just let her go, take some time to deal with the heartache and go on with your life.

I wish you the best of luck.