Girl I Just Met Going Distant When Texting Her... Happens A Lot... What's Up?

[thinkingman89]

Hey folks, been reading this forum for a while now. Plenty of good stuff on here, so keep it up!

I keep running into a problem with girls I meet. They just seem to be really flaky after I get their number and start texting them. These are girls I don't know already - usually I meet them in bars.

For example, recently I traveled to a nearby city (about 100 miles away), and went out to a bar. There wasn't much happening in the bar. I met this girl in the bar. We danced and talked a bit. She went with me and her friends to another bar, then we ditched her friends, and went back to my hotel.

We slept together, and she seemed to be pretty open to that (ie. pretty eager to jump into bed with me). She was pretty open minded in bed too, which we both seemed to enjoy, tho I had a fair amount of drink in me so I wasn't at 100%!

Then we had breakfast and chatted a bit. Conversationally, I wasn't quite at my best as I was a little hungover haha, but we had a few things in common and had an interesting talk. Then we exchanged numbers and headed home.

I sent her this text when we exchanged numbers:

ME: Yo

She didn't have her main phone so didn't get it right then.

She texted back a few hours later:

HER: Hey!
ME: So you rescued the iPhone then ; ) how was your lunch?
HER: Yep I did indeed haha
HER: Lovely thanks
HER: You get back ok?
ME: Yeah I did, got the bus shortly after you left... Doing anything nice this coming week?

No reply.

I texted her again a few days later:

ME: Ello ello, how goes it? I wish it was Friday goddammit... Time to rob a bank and escape to a tropical island ; )
HER: Oh hello there! Apologies for the late response! I've finished for the week lucky me hehe
HER: How are you?
ME: **** you and your day off haha ; ) I'm awesome sauce thanks : ) just a very busy day... Long weekend on a tropical island then? Haha ; )
HER: I wish! Really happy today though, I got offered a job : ) woohoo
ME: Awesome, well done : ) what kind of job?
HER: Makeup artist, at XXXXX
HER: Part time
HER: If I can make it work, I'd do both jobs
ME: Nice one, you can do my makeup when I'm traveling to XXXXX ; ) at least it's near XXXXX, so you might
HER: Haha why not : )
ME: I'd look great traveling with make up ; ) lipstick too ; )

No reply.

I'm trying to figure out what's going on in her head, I've had too many similar experiences in the past, both with girls I've slept with and girls I've just met and am trying to get out on a date. Sometimes even ones I've already been on a date with.

I'm thinking possible reasons:
- the distance - maybe she doesn't see me as worth pursuing because I'm too far away?
- she wasn't attracted to me - well she was attracted enough to sleep with me, tho there weren't many other options that night if sex was what she wanted so maybe she wasn't attracted
- she regretted sleeping with me - she didn't seem the type to regret it, absolutely no hangups about sleeping with me
- didn't get to know each other well enough - could be this, although we had stuff in common we couldn't really get talking properly for a long period of time
- bad in bed - probably wasn't amazing because of the drink haha, she seemed to enjoy it tho
- too busy?
- maybe she just doesn't text a lot?

Any ideas what's going on inside her head?

Any ideas what I should do next in this case?
- Should I leave it a few days and text her again, keep initiating every so often, and hope she warms up?
- Should I leave it and see if she texts me first?

Also, as I said, stuff like this happens to me a lot, so if you have any idea why in general, I'd love to know!

[pcmaster]

Some girls are texters some not. It happens to a lot of people when they read message and dont respond or dont even read it. Now in internet age people tend to lose interest fast and just next things - next to next interesting thing after few seconds when they lost thing to previous thing..

[lovebroken]

Maybe she worries about being witty back and struggling to keep up with your banter? That last text log makes me think this. Other than that could it be data issues or phone issues too? Doesn't have to be you that is the issue. Maybe give her a actual phone call next time to set up a night out? No texts.

[pcmaster]

Also I find that people are a bit autistic these days. WHat helps is ussaly triple Yo when I say Hi on FB. Yo Yo Yo, "a little autistic buddy" !

[thinkingman89]

Thanks for the replies. I guess it could be a busyness/attention span thing. Or maybe she's not witty enough for me What would you suggest I do? Keep texting back and see what happens?

[topazlight]

I suggest you do what lovebroken told you in her post above. Call her directly and make plans for another date if she makes excuses why she can't, then don't follow her back up wait and see if she tries to see you but look elsewhere while waiting but she may never get back to you. Keep your options open.

[TheEvilJester]

I would agree with what the others have said. In the exchanges you've shared, the one thing you never quite did was ask her to make plans. Now, in fairness, I imagine you were planning to work up to it but she never quite gave you the chance because she kept stopping her responses.

The thing is, that very well COULD mean she's not interested in you for any number of reasons..... but it could also just mean she's not a big texter. Some people can text back and forth all day.... some people don't really do it much at all.

So, maybe just try giving her a call to see if she wants to set up plans. That, or if nothing else, at least text her again but get right to the point and skip the chit chat. Yes, there is definitely a good chance that she isn't very chatty because she's not interested.... but wouldn't you much rather know for sure than to be left wondering? Even if it does turn out she's not interested, it would at least be better to know that. Otherwise, imagine if you decided she wasn't interested..... but it turns out she's just not a big text user? Maybe you'd be letting go of something that could have been great.

On the other hand, if you ask her out and she's not interested, at least you know and can move on. Good luck either way.

[josephdiaz99]

I think you should just call her, and invite her out... Ask if she wants to me on a precise date and time. That way you'll know if she's interested in seeing you again.

[thinkingman89]

Thanks for the replies folks... some good suggestions here. I'll give 'em a go!

[thinkingman89]

I tried texting her and inviting her out straight away in the first text... no reply... she didn't even read the message and she has been online plenty since I sent it.

Could it be that I waited too long and she got fed up waiting? Or is she just not interested?

[pcmaster]

Think she is just not interested. Or have a lot of messages so she dont read them.

[TheEvilJester]

I would say at this point you just assume she isn't interested and move on. And, frankly, I think she's done you a favor. Obviously she's too immature and childish to just be honest with you. You are better off not winding up with somebody like that anyway.

Did she get fed up? I certainly hope not since you were the one making an effort to keep in touch. She never really even gave you the chance to ask her out because she kept disappearing mid-conversation. But, no matter why it is, she obviously doesn't make you a priority at all, so time to stop making her one. You deserve somebody who will want to give you their attention, so go find that somebody. Good luck!

[lovebroken]

If you sent her a new reply and she hasn't taken the time to even tell you hello I would move on and no longer waste time on her, she has her # and can always reach you at any time if she wanted.