Fella doesn't want to be intimate with me ever again!

[forsaken]

So my fella and I have been together 12 years, in our mid 30's, we have kids and do love each other. However we haven't had sex in over two years and now he has told me that despite him having ED, he isn't interested in being intimate with me at all! This includes kissing, cuddling, holding hands etc. He has told me that he loves me dearly and never wants us to be apart and I do believe that but I cant get a handle on the fact he doesn't want to be close any more. I feel hurt and devastated. Recently I have changed how I look, lost weight, been attentive to his needs (to be fair I've always cared for his needs before my own, but now I find myself even being more so than usual, in hope of getting some sort of reaction).
Sex prior to his ED was fantastic, everyday if not two or three times a day, then it started to dwindle but I understood he was under pressure at work so I never pushed it. Then it came to a complete stop within a matter of months, we talked and I gave him space and time, yes there has been three occasions where I had too much to drink that I have blurted out how I have felt not being touched or just cuddled from him, and I think I did hurt him emotionally but I too was hurt and I wanted to get some sort of reaction from him at the time, because all I get is the banter like best mates give. I have stopped drinking all together now as a result as I don't want to hurt him by letting my feelings out.
Friday I ran him a bath, rubbed his feet, got him a drink and as we were watching a movie he just blurted out that he couldn't give me what I craved anymore, he doesn't feel the need to be intimate, he said that he is happy and that he loves me and hopes I can be too with what we have and that I need to move past this and stop hoping that things will improve because he isn't going to change. He gave me a list of things he no longer feels has a need in our relationship, snuggling, holding hands in the house or outside, hugging, kissing including a peck on the cheek, of course any form of sex and doesn't want me to touch him at all. Oh and he wants me to get rid of any sex toys or lingerie I have.
Over two years I have been sexually frustrated, I have been rejected again and again with a simple kiss of affection or hug and not once have I sought it elsewhere, I have been supportive, given him time and space, tried to make his life better so he isn't stressed. I have focused on other things in my life so I don't get down all the time about this but I am so angry right now!
Surely this isn't normal behaviour, how can he reasonably ask this of me? to be happy with our relationship like this! Have I done something wrong, this is what I need to know?

[Markdg61]

Clearly this is not normal and to be honest I don't know if you will find the answer here. I would however seek some counciling for yourself and try to convince him to get some counseling as well. I wish you the best and hope you can work this out.