What should i do i feel horrible.

[LS.321]

Hello i am a guy and i am talking to this girl for 8 months now we started off as best friends but we started getting really intimate and now for a few months it went back to normal. We differ in age but to her that is a big problem although it is a small number, i am younger than her, she told me we were gonna stay as friends. But she flirts with me too but just for fun she doesn't mean anything by it. I have always been there for her and i could be the perfect guy for her. But recently i started to get feelings for her. We are talking daily. And she got feelings too recently, but for another guy, who is also a close friend to her who is also her classmate. The guy played with her emotions because he is a dickhead. And she comes and cries to me about him. Now i have managed to motivate her to leave him. But i know that she still got feelings for him and that he still is trying to get her too. Now she is telling me you don't know what i'm going through, but im going through worse and at the same time trying to man myself up and show no emotions. What should i do to win her over from the guy she is in love with now (although they don't talk anymore and she tells me i am done with relationships) and fall for me. Or should i just forget it and move on , what i technically can't do because i have no reason to just dissapear out of her life and i am not planning on doing it. I am feeling like a total dumbass. But i still want her.

[TheEvilJester]

I am not going to say it is impossible. I won't say it never happens. It certainly CAN and likely sometimes does..... but in most cases, once somebody has decided they only see somebody as a friend, that is unlikely to ever change.

Even more so when you consider the fact that, as you mentioned, you two did sort of start moving towards being more than just friends.... only for her to change her mind and decide she didn't want a relationship with you. And, frankly, that would be fine..... IF you both were okay with that. Obviously, though, you want more. So, it is unlikely you are going to be okay with just being friends.

You can't convince somebody to love you. Nor, frankly, should you HAVE to convince them anyway. So, I know it isn't really the advice you want to hear, but I can't really give any advice other than to say you should just move on. I would say you could still at least be her friend if you were able to do so without the truth being that you were really just waiting around hoping she'd change her mind. I could be wrong, but it doesn't sound like you could do that, though. If you do remain her friend, it sounds like you would just always wish it could be more. That would only get harder and harder with time.

Now, it isn't like she's really done anything to you exactly. She hasn't really done anything wrong. So, you shouldn't necessarily be rude to her or anything.... but that doesn't mean you have to just remain her friend because she didn't do anything to you. Even if she didn't do anything to wrong you, that still doesn't change the fact that you have feelings she doesn't share. So, if that is not going to change, you need to move on and find somebody else. You'll never do that if you are always just hanging around hoping for something that may never happen.

Believe me, I'm sure most of us can understand how you feel. I'm sure most of us have experience the feeling of unrequited love before. So, I definitely understand how hard it is for you to let go. But, you may need to let go. You deserve to find somebody who will want to be with you as much as you want to be with her. If that isn't this particular gal, then you owe it to yourself to move on and find the right gal for you.

Good luck!

[pcmaster]

Man its important to show emotions. When showing your vulnerable side you are stronger than when just trying to be strong.
I always show my emotions to girls and its not a deal breaker. I do it because I want to be understood and they understand me better by it.

I say be open and honest, dont hide or hold back anything. If it dont work then move on. You already tried to be strong so it didnt worked. Theres actually nothing you can do if she likes someone better. You can try hard but take only second place. I say - man find a girl to who you will be number one. It seems like now you are trying to desperatly hold on to this girl when she is just keeping you at hands distance. No real man would be okay with being backup player. Thats not the position from where you penetrate girls.

[TheEvilJester]

Because of the piece of garbage who spammed the board, I'm trying to bump at least some of the threads back to the top that are actually from real people. So, nothing further to add, just didn't want this one to get buried under pages of crap.