HELP before I say something bad

**cmt9000** · 13-10-05, 01:08 AM

Greetings all...

I'm at work typing this, I just found this forum after searching Google for a relationship forum.

Anyway, my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for 2 years now, and living together for over 1 year.

We met through work...we were both married at the time, but both of our marriages were rocky and going downhill fast.

Anyway, she is now totally upset with me because I went to lunch with another girl who works with me here in my department(she's happily married and sits right by me).

Here's what happened. I got up from my cube and announced I was going to lunch. "Julie" asked where I was going and I said "just down to Wendy's", which is just right next door. So we just took her car through the drivethru, got lunch and came back to the office. I ate here my cube, and she ate with her friends outside. So you can see it's not like we actually went to lunch together, we just drove through the drive-thru.

My GF called and asked what I did for lunch, and I told her I just went through the Wendy's drive-thru with "Julie". She got so upset she hung up on me. She then emailed me a nasty letter saying how she can never trust me again.

I haven't replied yet...but I don't know even what to say. I'm stuck!

I love her, but I think she went a little overboard...

Any advice?

Tone · 13-10-05, 01:14 AM

What did you order out of curiousity? Thinkin of goin to Wendy's myself...

Anyways - way overboard. How old is this woman for cryin out loud... she needs to learn the meaning of trust.

After 2 years and she's actin like this...? Over somethin so stupid.

**margot732** · 13-10-05, 01:17 AM

It sounds like your gf is overreacting to an innocent thing you did with a female co-worker. If I were you, I wouldn't rush into responding to her extreme response that "...she can never trust you again." Give her some time and space to burn off her unwarranted anger. If your relationship is solid, she'll get over this soon and hopefully realize how silly her behavior was. Hope this helps.

**Rosebud** · 13-10-05, 01:17 AM

hmmm, there has to be something else that made her mad about that. Does she work at the same office with you?

I would just ask why she's so upset? And tell her she has no reason to not trust you. The one thing I can say though is when people accuse you of things most of the time it's because they are the ones doing something they shouldn't be. Not saying that she is but for her to jump on you like that is really suspicious.

**Junsui** · 13-10-05, 01:21 AM

She did overreact and I'm sure part of the reason for that maybe that you were both in other relationships when you met each other at work. So if she's insecure, she might be thinking you're going to leave her for someone at work. Obviously she is wrong about this, right? She needs to work on herself if she is already saying she can never trust you again just because you got food with someone else. Would she have any reason to not trust you? I wouldn't discuss this at work, but wait till you both are at home to sit down and discuss what issues are really going on.

**cmt9000** · 13-10-05, 01:33 AM

The girl I went to work with works in the same department with me. My GF works in a different company(I used to work with her).

My GF emailed me again saying that we can't be together because what I did was 100% wrong.

We love each other, and I trust her, but she doesn't trust me for some reason. I never cheated on her or anything even remotely close to that.

She's 29, and I'm 35.

**cmt9000** · 13-10-05, 01:33 AM

BTW, I just had a bowl of chili from Wendy's.

**Junsui** · 13-10-05, 01:36 AM

hmm that's really odd, maybe she was waiting for something small to happen so she could use that as a way out of the relationship? I don't know, I would try talking to her after work and see if she's calmed down.

**TAVS** · 13-10-05, 01:37 AM

Sounds a bit overboard but there is at least an ounce of precidence for concern

**cmt9000** · 13-10-05, 01:46 AM

I called her and let her know how much I love her and she's the only one for me. She just responded with how hurt she is that I could even think of doing something like this.

**cmt9000** · 13-10-05, 01:48 AM

She's trying to get me to say that I was 100% wrong. She emailed me and said I should tell her that I'm sorry, I was wrong, and I'll never do it ever again.

**blackiesharley** · 13-10-05, 01:59 AM

Overboard is the word. It's Wendys grabbing a burger or whatever, not a strip club or even a bar. Geeezz..

My ex-wife used to go to lunch almost every other day with her male co-workers, some of which were good-looking single guys. I actually liked that because her office was in a bad neighborhood and I felt she was protected with male company. I trusted her as she did me, that's not what broke us up, in fact, I had a girl who worked for me during the day doing graphic design and was a stripper at night. We'd finish a big project and often go out for drinks, just the two of us to celebrate. My wife never objected.

My advice would be to let her calm down, defuse the situation and above all think before you say anything.This could escalate into a full-blown war. Most of the time, less is more in these situations.

Now if I could only take my own advice. (These days)

**Rosebud** · 13-10-05, 02:01 AM

I would try and get to the heart of this somehow because you were not in the wrong and you shouldn't apologize for anything you did. She is really over- reacting and needs to realize how naive she is being right now.

**cmt9000** · 13-10-05, 02:02 AM

She doesn't want to talk to me until I admit my "guilt" and apologize profusely.

The problem is, she acts as if I did go to a strip club!

**Rosebud** · 13-10-05, 02:05 AM

well then I would give her some time here because she really needs to rationalize about what's she's doing. I wouldn't answer her for awhile and let her think about the whole situation.

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