Is it me is I have no clue what to do!

[lonestar926]

I have dated a guy for over a year now and the last two months have been not as great. We met online and he's been married twice with three kids, one he has joint custody with now. I've never been married or have kids. We live 4 hours apart. We bought a house together, I had to get the mortgage because his credit was horrible, but he pays half. About two weeks ago I asked to see his phone, something i have never done before, because I wanted to see if I might get the same kind. Before he handed it to me, he deleted emails, then gave it to me. I was playing with it and a girl texted " why haven't I heard from you today". I was stunned and asked who she was. He said it was someone that he met long before me and that they kept in touch. Her cousin died and she needed someone to talk to. Anyways, I had to drag more info out of him for the next three days, had he slept with her.. no.. had he been to the house.. no.. then he turned it around on me that he blocked her from calling, said I had male friends text.. all of who he knows.. and just got nasty. He then started asking if we were OK.. and that I didn't trust him any more. I honestly did doubt him but I told him that I trusted him to do the right thing. Anyways, the past two weeks have been hell. I've tried to give him space but he still texts me all the time.. then gets impatient.. when I try calling him, he sometimes doesn't answer the phone and I text him snarky comments. This morning he said that he didn't sleep last night because he had a lot on his mind and he was having a rough time right now. His place of work closes in March next year but he interviewed for a job at the new place. I make more then he does, have told him I would help if he wanted to go to a trade school. He's thrown it back in my face that I have told him the house was "my" house, which I know I have never done before. I'm tired of crying, tired of obsessing, tired of worrying and tired of wondering. He was supposed to be my soulmate but I don't know now. Help.

[pcmaster]

It seems like that girl girl wasnt so omportant as you was thinking and that you lost trust too early. Anyaw I think that you need to talk this out and meds could help stabilize the mood if you tired of feeling like this. Seems like guy needs sleeping pills too. Anyway you both need to try be nice to eachother and get in touch maybe 3-4 days of the week and rest of the days rest from eachother and do your own things, be busy with other things.

[lonestar926]

I couldn't agree more about doing your own thing.. I haven't had a "real" relationship in a long time and the one long relationship I had he cheated on me repeatedly. I guess I was "looking" for something that wasn't there. I know I over reacted now and I told him I was sorry... many times. Thank you for an honest reply. I appreciate it.

[richiro]

your both acting lke children and need to grow up.

you started accusing him immediately after the first incient and thus you put him on the defensive. nobody likes being accused and evn the innocent will get defensive and start to fight back. and yo haven't let up yet "i'll heklp you.. but the house is MINE!" what kind of bs is that? make up your mind.. are you going to be supportive or throw things in his face?

he should have reassured you more (he tried to do this by blocking that gal from calling him again) and should be letting up on you too to be fair.

like i said. you're both acting immature and both need to grow up and act like adults who love each other. if you cn'at and you must be snarky and have it your way (or his way) all the time - then neither of you are mature enough to be with another and should break up and be single until you have matured enough.