Why does he ask?

[Angel29]

My friend's husband always asks me about my dating every time I see him and seems quite enthusiastic when he asks. Just before they got married a mutual friend said in front of my friend how her husband wanted to date me before they got together. I was shocked the mutual friend said this as his wife was unaware and seemed insecure after this - I didn't know her husband liked me and he seemed embarrassed and was playing it down. I did like him when we were both single but nothing ever happened. I catch him looking at me when we all go out. I would never go after a married man but wonder why he keeps showing an interest in my dating.

[TheEvilJester]

I mean, honestly, my gut reaction is who cares why he keeps asking? He really should stop because from the way you describe it I get exactly the impression that apparently you are getting as well. I get the impression that he likes you (even though he is married) and part of him is hoping you're not dating because part of him still wishes there could be something between you two.

....And Hell, honestly you and I could both be very wrong in the assumption.... but that is obviously the impression he's giving. So, he really should knock it the Hell off, especially considering you mentioned this apparently makes his wife uncomfortable.

But, like I said, at least as far as you should be concerned, who cares about the WHY behind him asking this? He is married.... and married to your friend no less. So, no matter why he is asking, you should have no interest in him. I get the impression you already DO NOT, so I'm not saying that to imply you do. I'm just illustrating that if he keeps asking, you should just answer however feels appropriate to you and leave it at that. Don't elaborate, if he tries to elaborate just kill the topic.

I mean, there could be any number of reasons why he'd keep asking you, and being as none of us are mind readers, we will never know unless he feels the need to tell.

[melancholia]

Maybe he keeps asking because he hopes you find someone to be happy with. Just because he had a crush on you before he was married, does not mean he wishes he was with you instead of his wife. If you are annoyed by his asking of your relationship status, you can politely ask him not to. Something along the lines of, "I'm happily single, thank you. I would appreciate if you didn't continue to ask me about my love life." Easy, polite, concise.

[TheEvilJester]

Exactly. Good point, melancholia. I agree as well. In fact, as I was saying, it is entirely possible he actually DOES have only innocent reasons for asking. As melancholia mentioned, one possibility is that he cares for you to some degree (even if just as a friend) and wishes for you to be happy.

As I said, I can't blame you for having the impression his intentions are NOT noble. Heck, like I said, that is how it comes across to me too. But, it's still entirely possible we are both wrong. So, unless you have legitimate reasons to believe otherwise, just assume he is asking not because he's interested in you, but because he genuinely wants you to be happy. However, if you do wish him to stop asking, as melancholia suggested, just politely ask.