Trust issues

[Fireman15]

So, I'm in a fresh relationship, we have known each other for 1year, and we are together for 2months now. We work together but we don't see each other, and last week we went to a work dinner, and I took a picture with 2 girls who work with me. She found out and she just got furious. I thought it wasn't a big deal, but for her it is. This isn't the first time.
We talked and she says she won't forget it. I know that she always asking where I've been and with who cuz she is jealous, and that is "killing" our relationship because she is always mad because I talk with my coworkers. What should I do?

[JimBo90]

Not worth it. If she cared as much as she should she'd trust you. Her behaviour will never change, she'll become more possessive. It's a sign of severe emotional immaturity.

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Don't change who you are, who you talk to and who you care about to please the negative attitudes of others.

[Fireman15]

Not worth it. If she cared as much as she should she'd trust you. Her behaviour will never change, she'll become more possessive. It's a sign of severe emotional immaturity.

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Don't change who you are, who you talk to and who you care about to please the negative attitudes of others.

I want to do that, just ignore her... but if i do that she wont talk to me, so i think is better just to talk to her and say what i feel about it!

[TheEvilJester]

You can certainly try talking to her, but I have to admit I find myself agreeing with JimBo here. If her reaction was THAT blown out of proportion, I really doubt that talking to her is going to help. I mean, where you making out with the two co-workers in the picture or something? LOL! Then I think I could understand her reaction. But, for her to completely flip out simply because you were in a picture with two other human females is COMPLETELY overreacting. Add to that the fact that you've said she's always sort of paranoid and jealous, and I think you really would be much better off without somebody like that in your life. That sounds like a lot of unneeded drama.

But, if there is still part of you that wants to try, then you can certainly try talking to her. Just talk to her in a very matter of fact kind of manner. As even and unemotional as you can. Tell her something like "Look, I understand that you care for me and that you get worried that something or somebody could come between us. But, you have to understand I would NEVER do something like that to you. At the same time, though, there are women at my work, I have some friends who are women, I can't just avoid them completely. I wouldn't do anything that crosses the line, but at the same time I'm not going to be rude. But, more importantly, you can always talk to me when something bothers you. I want to do my best to make you happy, so if something bothers you I want to know it. We can talk about it and maybe you would see there's no reason to worry, or maybe there's some way I can better handle a particular situation that is reasonable but still makes you happy...."

Something along those lines, but obviously put it in your own words. Good luck to you either way.

[Fireman15]

We went on a 5 day vacations, and i talked to her, and now we are better than ever! I logged in just to say that she agreed that she was overreacting and to thank you guys!

[melancholia]

There's cute jealous, and then there's Othello. Meaning, there's jealousy that everyone feels and is a natural feeling to have, but is virtually harmless when acknowledged that it's a normal human emotion, but not something to let destroy a relationship. Then there's extreme jealousy that stems from low self-esteem and a lack of confidence, and that has nothing to do with you. Your girlfriend's jealousy sounds irrational, and unless there's something else going on, it's completely unwarranted. I could see where she was coming from if you had cheated on her, but it doesn't sound like you have. Taking pictures with co-workers at an event is not crossing the line, in my opinion, and it sounds like your girlfriend is controlling and overly jealous. If it's this difficult after only 2 months, I think it might be worth it to cut ties. It's not going to get better than this, and it will most likely get worse.

[Fuzzyfeeling]

Am pleased to hear that dawg , and if it ever happens again , do remember to talk to her before attempting to post on here. Cuz some people kinda forget to do that ^~^

[TheEvilJester]

LOL! Well, yes, good advice. But, I think in this case he was posting here BECAUSE he wanted some help/advice/thoughts on HOW to talk to her/what to say. Or, for that matter, whether or not it was even worth discussing or if that was just a sort of "cut and run" kind of situation.

Fair advice for sure, though. I do think sometimes people rush to talk to anybody and everybody about their relationship problems..... EXCEPT the person with whom they are in a relationship. Coming to other people should be a last resort, really, when it seems your partner is unwilling to talk/listen and/or even if you do it doesn't help.