Recover from a lie or move on...

[twooddtrees]

I met a gal and ahe seemed to be the one! It was amazing. We fell in love and after 6 months she moved in. It seemed marraige was inevitable. I was super careful to. Observing, listening to my gut. Grilled her on her divorce, how long ago it was final and not when it started etc. Then...boom!!!! The other night after hearing her mother make a comment about finahing her divorce I asked again. Now she admitted that she is still married and has never filed. She has been legally separated for 6 years. She lied about it directly 3 times. Once i saw that her husband's Facebook said seperated and asked her about it. She gave me a big story about how that was his pride and assured me that she is divorced. Now I don't know what to do. She has cried a lot and says she will file and do anything to keep me and earn my trust back. I gave her two weeks to file. I am not sure that will do anything. Suggestions on recovery...or move on and kicknher out..

[TheEvilJester]

I guess it really depends on just how much that lie bothered you. I think on the surface I personally wouldn't say that is enough of a reason to split up YET, but I definitely think it is a HUGE red flag and an obvious cause for concern. So, were it me I don't think that would necessarily be the straw that broke the camel's back, but it would cause me to think twice.

This is not a little white lie here. Hell, it's not even a lie of omission. You directly asked her about it and she BLATANTLY lied to you..... SEVERAL TIMES. So, you are certainly right to be upset and I could not blame you if you can't see past it. If she could lie about this, what other things could she lie about in the future?

And, yes, I could think up a lot of reasons why maybe she was lying with good intention.... but it doesn't change the fact that she lied to you so blatantly and about something so big. So, even if she did so for what she thought were the best of reasons, that doesn't change how it may have felt to you. So, if you can see past it and wish to give her another chance, then certainly do.... but just be cautious until she otherwise proves trustworthy. On the other hand, if you don't feel you can trust her after that, then you'd not be wrong to just decide you need to move on.

Good luck to you either way.