Dating game - various points.

[hunk703]

Hi guys,

I get dates but i have a question. How do you pump up action within first or second date?

When is the point to french kiss on first or second date?

How do you propose a girl to be your girl friend after first or second?
does it have to be said or just communicated by feelings?

And at what point does sex come in the picture?

All this have to be said in person or can be said through text or whatsapp too so that feelings
are open?

Thankyou

[lovebroken]

Kiss when it feels right, don't try to time these things out and make them unnatural and why do you have to ask someone to be your gf after 2 dates? That is moving to fast, go out several times over a few weeks then ask that question after you really get to know each other. Same for sex, no rush when its natural make the move. Some girls will sleep with a guy after first date others will wait a month, all depends on the girl, they give signs so be aware of body language.

[melancholia]

Pay attention to the vibe and energy of the person you are with. As social animals, humans rely on picking up messages from others based on vocal communication as well as body language and other social cues. If you're ever uncertain, err on the side of caution and just ask. Definitely ask permission if you want to have sex with someone though, because enthusiastic consent is very important. If you want a girl to be your girlfriend, ask her how she feels about being exclusive and what her expectations are in a relationship, and go from there.

[TheEvilJester]

As the others have said, there is no set formula. It is all about what feels right for each couple. Now, I know you aren't a mind reader so you can't necessarily know for sure what the gal is thinking, but you can sometimes get kind of a sense at least for if you seem to be on the same page.

I will say, though, that the first or second date are PROBABLY, in most cases, too soon to be "French kissing." I think more the question to be asking is when to give the kiss on the cheek, when to give the kiss on the lips, etc. In general, you shouldn't try to full on make out with somebody until you have some level of certainty they would be open. Otherwise, that could definitely make it seem like you are moving too fast.

Also agree with the others that one or two dates is almost certainly too soon to be having the "boyfriend/girlfriend" talk. At least in most cases. Really, don't worry so much about the WHEN and just do what feels natural. "Read the room," so to speak. But, I would most definitely suggest when you DO decide the time is right for those sort of discussions that you do it in person, NOT on social media/via text message.

Good luck!

[melancholia]

Personally, I'm less old-fashioned than some of the other posters in this forum when it comes to making out on a first or second date. My mom always said, "how do you know you want a second date if you didn't kiss them on the first date?" When I met my boyfriend, the first time the two of us hung out alone, I just turned to him and said "do you want to go make out upstairs in your room?" and he said, "Yeah! I do." And we did. Obviously I felt out the vibe beforehand and the moment felt right, and it worked for me. I do think asking someone to be your girlfriend on the first or second date is a little too soon, unless you know each other previously (i.e. you know each other from school, work, or were friends first). Again, it all depends on what feels natural for you and what you are comfortable with.

[TheEvilJester]

And there's nothing wrong with that, melancholia. Though, I don't think I'd necessarily personally make out on the first date, I definitely don't think there is anything wrong with somebody who would. If it feels right to you at the time, what is wrong with that? Again, that is why I say you sort of "read the room," figuratively speaking.

In other words, I don't recommend you just suddenly start making out with somebody right away unless it honestly does seem to you like they are open to it/want it. Like, in your example, melancholia, you actually went ahead and asked him. Good for you.

[melancholia]

Thanks, [MENTION=71386]TheEvilJester[/MENTION] I think my specific story makes for a funny tale to tell when people ask how we met and all of that. I am very good at reading people's energy, but I had to ask because I didn't want the moment to pass and then regret it. And I don't for one second, 7 months and still going really well

I agree, it has to be about what you are comfortable with and how well you can read the energy of the person you're with. There can be a lot of nervous energy that gets in the way, but generally, it's not too hard to tell if someone is into you. I used to think asking in advance if you can kiss the person was lame, but honestly, it shows a huge sign of respect and it is brave, because the answer might be "no", and rejection sucks for anybody. Go with your gut, and you can't go wrong.

[hunk703]

I have had experiences where we just didnt kiss on first date on lips ( cheeks kiss yes), excellent chemistry and everything but didnt get second date.

[melancholia]

I am sure everyone has had that. I've also had experiences where I've kissed (or more) on the first date and also didn't get a second date. I got lucky with my current BF, but I didn't fully expect us to become serious during that first time we got together, it progressed naturally, like any good relationship should. If you have to force something to work, it likely isn't going to end well.

[hunk703]

[MENTION=81312]melancholia[/MENTION], How is it sign of respect? I also think one has to has great courage to ask that out even in the joke because that one "No" can stop one's progress. right? . I actually did that to someone , asked in a joke and got a No. cant go ahead with it.

Asked her during a chat conversation at midnight of new year if you were here in my city we would have gone out tonight and may be would have kissed at midnight. It was in funny tone.

And to that she said, "Dont think so my friend. But we would have surely gone out ringing".

That means I am done with her and I cant make any proceed now unless she changes her mind.

[melancholia]

To ask someone permission to kiss them is a sign of respect because it shows that their consent is important. It's brave because of the possibility of rejection, and the level of vulnerability it takes to ask that type of question. I've been in many situations where I've kissed someone or they've kissed me without asking, and that was fine, because the mood was right and the energy was read correctly; but it would be more embarrassing (and possibly disastrous) if you went in to kiss someone and they did not want to be kissed at all.

As for your "joke" about wanting to kiss her on NYE, it doesn't sound like a joke to me, and likely she didn't take it as such either. If she was into you, it would be much more obvious. I think you might want to take that as a sign to move on.