Blokes - what did he mean?

[daisyflower]

Hi Guys
Looking for men's insight.
A guy had separated from his wife after 2 years of sleeping in different rooms and several years of unhappiness from lack of affection etc. They have 2 children. He had been separated for 6 months. He stated the separation was what he wanted, and his ex had not wanted to separate. Regardless, he moved out.
We met on tinder. We hit it off really well. He told me he had fallen head over heels inlove with me. After 4 months he decided to tell his ex he was seeing someone and moving on. He spoke with her for an hour. Then came to my house and announced to me that he was going back to her. To say I was completely blind sided is an understatement.
He immediately blocked my phone number. Deleted his fb. And blocked my emails. I got no reason, no explanation. He simply disappeared.
So, men, what would make a guy behave like that? Is it possible he didn't love me, was he somehow using me?

[beternal]

I'm sorry to say it can happen to the best of us... you're with someone you're not particularly thrilled with... lots of time apart... you start moving on... and then just when you're about to break it off, you realise there's something about them that makes you want to try again.

I don't think he was using you. I think he genuinely wanted to give a new relationship a go. Maybe he realised his kids came first, that he'd rather bring them up in a whole family or that he'd missed something amazing about her and that he hadn't given it a fair go.

Consider yourself lucky he didn't tell you it was over and played you on the side...

[richiro]

Well let's make one thing ABSOLUTELY CLEAR here - this is not a "male behavior" - this is a "person behavior" .... yes.. females do this TOO!

here is the golden rule here:
Until the divorce paperwork is turned or until the divorcfe is finalized (or for bf/gf terms.. unless they have officially broken up and have been broken up with no more contact for a good long time.. ) and for both situations - until the topic of the ex- is NOWHERE in site for any reason ... i would say excpet maybe picking up/dropping off children....

being "the other person" is always at risk of getting hurt and the ex's getting back together. This is just a global phenomenon that has gone on forever.

Why is this? It's called rebound - the filling of a huge void left behind due to the loss or disappearnce of a partner. No matter how bad or horrible it was, there is still always a void when a relationship ends. We are no longer wanted, a willing partner is no longer there when we need, a connection is lost. So.. we reach for another connection (ANY willing connedction) to replace that while we mourn to ease the pain until we truly get over it.

We do not do this maliciously or consciously - it's just innate human behavior (and probably for most species too). Loss is loss and we grieve and look to connect with others during those times.

Call it a lesson learned and think real hard and long before becoming "the 3rd wheel" again going forward.

Hang in there.