Was he calling me fat?

[Rubyrose.83]

A guy that I'm seeing described me as voluptuous. I instantly got upset & took it as him calling me fat, which I'm not. Do men use words like this to politely imply that a woman is fat?

[richiro]

dunno where my reply went but no.. voluptuous is a positive comment from a man meaning curvy and sexy.
i can see it meaning something different if it were a female that said it to you.

[melancholia]

Voluptuous is not a rude term. It literally translates to "luxury" or "sensual pleasure", and or, "curvaceous and sexually attractive female." Men do not use that word to imply a woman is fat, they just say they are fat.

[TheEvilJester]

I can definitely understand why you took the word that way, but I agree with the others. I do not at all think he meant to imply you were fat. I doubt the thought even crossed his mind. Voluptuous does not equal fat. I mean, I could certainly be wrong, but I think he meant it as a compliment, not as a code word for "fat."

Technically, the true definition of voluptuous is "curvaceous and sexy." Curvaceous also does not necessarily imply "fat" either, as women of all shapes and sizes have what people would describe as "curvaceous" bodies. So, no, I do not think he was calling you fat. Again, I could be wrong, but I am thinking he meant it as a compliment, not a veiled way to insult you.

[richiro]

what we need to remember is that the same words and phrases coming out of male vs female moutsh can mean different things.
When males say it, "fat" is not in our mind at all. We also tend to be more explicit in our communications - what we say is what we mean and there are no hidden meanings. WE don't "hint" a lot.

It's the opposite with females. They hardly ever say anything directly and mostly hint and this is why its completely understandable why a female woudl assume and automatically think "what does that mean?" --- b/c that's just how they innately communicate.

It's a tough thing for both sides.. males, when trying to understand females, need to think/undersatnd how a female thinks to decode what they say and do.
Females, when trying to undersatnd what a male is sayihng or doing, need to remember to think like a male to interpet it.

It would be analogous to hiring a Russian translator to accompany you on a trip to AFrica - won't work. So when trying to examine what a male said/meant - think like a male. When examining or decoding what a female said or meant - think like a female.

[rjkennedy]

No, if you really were fat, any guy with manners wouldn't say anything. If it were some clown that just wanted to hurt your feelings, then they would call you fat (even if you were slightly overweight). But the term 'voluptuous' is something you don't need to be ashamed of.

I could just imagine how you're probably shaped; Large breast, small to mid-size waist and a great behind! Now that's what your date sees! And I know he enjoys watching other guys tongues hanging down to the ground when ya'll walk down the street. Be proud!

[aadi]

A guy that I'm seeing described me as voluptuous. I instantly got upset & took it as him calling me fat, which I'm not. Do men use words like this to politely imply that a woman is fat?

probably he saying fat with live