Is "attractive" a bad compliment?

[Rubyrose.83]

I'm dating a guy & he almost exclusively calls me attractive. He's said sexy a few times, beautiful maybe once. I don't think attractive is much of a compliment really, seems cold & detached. To be fair, he refers to other women as "attractive" to, it's like his go to compliment. He's shy & a bit proper and reserved. Why "attractive"? It's so bad!!!

[melancholia]

Since when is a guy calling you attractive a bad thing? I think you're being too sensitive about this. However, time he says it, maybe ask him to tell you what he finds attractive about you. That may help you feel better.

[richiro]

its only his "go to compliment' if he calls every female "attractive" (even ones that most people would agree isn't attractive).
No. it's not a negative. Would you rather be called un-attractive or ugly? If not.. then quit being so particular and critical of compliments - because there are a LOT WORSE THINGS he could call you rather than attractive. SO.. be careful what you wish for if yo insist he stop calling you attractive.

btw.. being critical about compliments and cutting down on a guy for complimenting you ... is very unatttractive. just sayin'

[Rubyrose.83]

If I'm dating someone, I expect a little more of a heartfelt compliment. If he only sees me as just "attractive", why be with me?

[melancholia]

Why are you with him if you take issue with his choice of compliment? Some guys call women "cute", or "pretty" or "sexy" or whatever, others call them attractive... I think you have a deeper rooted issue here, which is you are questioning why he likes you and what he sees in you that he likes, not so much which adjective he chooses to compliment you with.

[Rubyrose.83]

No, that's not true. Not everything goes back to insecurity. If strangers on the street can call me beautiful, why doesn't he see me that way? Attractive isn't even a compliment, it's like a notch above ugly

[melancholia]

If that's how you perceive his compliments, then again, I ask: why are you dating him? Attractive absolutely is a compliment, but if hearing that isn't enough for you, then you either need to find a man who has better compliments to give you, or stop playing the victim, get over yourself, and take a compliment for what it is. Those are your choices.

[richiro]

No, that's not true. Not everything goes back to insecurity. If strangers on the street can call me beautiful, why doesn't he see me that way? Attractive isn't even a compliment, it's like a notch above ugly

Because everybody is an individual and different words to differnet people mean different things. No 2 people use the same words the same way.
Don't focus on the small stuff, focus on the big stuff. The intent was positive, it was menat as a compliment... what more do you want?

Definitely very "unattractive" how you are handling this.

[melancholia]

OP, have you tried telling him that you dislike his choice of compliment?

[JakeCollins]

That's a tricky one! It depends on the context by which he's complimenting you. A lot of guys when asked what they think about a girl directly, will call her cute in order to dodge the question because they don't find the girl sexy. However to some guys cute is a great compliment because that's what they like in females.

So like I said it depends on what context he's complimenting you by. Maybe try asking him what his favourite features of yours are? That will require a more direct personalised answer. If he says something like your eyes, just press on and ask what makes your eyes special.

Although being called attractive is still a compliment I can see why you are confused, especially since that's the same compliment he's using with other females as well. Maybe he's just shy to call you anything else.

Anyway try my suggestion and let us know what happens!

Jake Collins.