Why hasn't he said anything to me?

[MZing]

I'm just back from a holiday in US.

The last week has been best time ever. My uncle who lived there didn't have time to show us around so a relative/friend helped on his behalf.

As soon as I seen this guy - tom I felt a connection. He's self employed so he took time off work to spend time with my dad and I. There were a few days where it was just us 2, Tom and I exploring the city. Showing me places, trying out food.

My dad mentioned Tom did ask him if I was single or have a boyfriend, he's single as well. He said to my dad that he likes me, would like to date me, but same time to take things slowly. Everyone, all the relatives were able to see an connection between Tom and I. I even met his parents briefly. Morning before my flight his mum woke up early to bake cakes and biscuits for me!

The thing is he never said anything to me, that he likes me, just to my dad. He's perfect, both same age - early 20's. He can be a bit shy but he's so kind, caring and cheerful. Being around him made me so happy.

Now that I'm back home in UK for a day, I haven't heard from him. Why hasn't he been in touch? Does he like me?

[Joshua Alan]

Hi, MZing. 32 yo married guy here. You hit the nail on the head yourself, there. He's shy. At the ripe old age of 'early 20's' it is a likely scenario that he hasn't had a lot of experience approaching girls he likes and attempting to initiate a relationship. At that age it is also possible he has had negative experiences under his belt; rejections, taken advantage of, perhaps a lengthy relationship that dissolved in a possibly hurtful way. All this can be combining to make him a little fun shy at opening up a line of communication with you.

Add to that, you said you just went back across the pond, and that you've only been there for a day. That adds two more things to consider. First, it's only been one day. He may be intending to give you time to get settled back in, he may still be wrestling to find the courage to speak up. Fear of rejection is a powerful inhibitor, on that even the most confident person may struggle with from time to time. Secondly, one has to consider the long distance. Long distance may be a hinderance. "Another country" may or may not seem like such a big deal over there, I have heard that one can take a day trip across the border in some places like it's no big deal, I don't know how accurate that is. But those of us in the USA come from a country large enough that "another country" seems like a daunting concept to us. (I personally live in Texas, state with a larger area than France. You can drive ALL DAY and still not leave the state of Texas).

Not only are you in a different country, but you're across the ocean. You recently made the trip twice yourself, you know how much of a hassle and how expensive that can be. That can be a pretty intimidating concept to anyone, much less someone still early in adulthood and still establishing themselves as an independent adult.

Then again, maybe it's just nerves.

If you're interested in this guy, reach out to him. Initiate contact. The days of "the man does it all" are bygone, and good riddance. Go for what you want.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

~Joshua