My Breakup Meeting with my BF - Wow!

[Vanilla Gilr]

Geez, she posts this and you all went soft! Spineless jellyfish-all of you!

So exactly WHO 'went soft'?

Trying to explain what was said is not going soft...

Margot wants to hear only what Margot wants to hear...

So she doesn't hear or acknowledge a word I've said...

Therefore it's time to stop wasting my time trying to help someone who believes themselves to be above my help. I'm merely being practical.

Besides...how hard were you?

[whaywardj]

Gotta give it up to VG. She's got style.

[margot732]

So exactly WHO 'went soft'?

Trying to explain what was said is not going soft...

Margot wants to hear only what Margot wants to hear...

So she doesn't hear or acknowledge a word I've said...

Therefore it's time to stop wasting my time trying to help someone who believes themselves to be above my help. I'm merely being practical.

Besides...how hard were you?

Excuse me, but I don't want to hear only what I want to hear. I've insisited from my friends and family that they tell me the truth about what I should do and not spare my feelings. I can handle the truth and learn from it. All my friends and family have told me that I have been mature and strong through this soap opera -- and they know my character much better than you guys.

I'm starting to believe that the word 'forgiveness' is a dirty word on this Board. If I love my bf and he vows that the past relationship is finished and that he only wants to devote himself to loving me, why should I not CONSIDER forgiving him and give him a second chance? Sure, there's a big risk that I could get hurt again. In that case, it's my fault and I learn a lot about how to approach my next relationship. God knows I've already learned a lot -- both good and bad -- about myself, relatioships, my bf and men in general, through this ordeal.

But the truth is that my chances of getting my bf back are slim. I have no illusions about that. And if he decides to marry her, I'm going to give him Hell and tell him never to contact me again. It'll be over. Period. Then I'll embrace new relationships with men who love me exclusively and have their act together.

[Junsui]

Sounds all good to me. I have nothing against forgiving someone, it's just usually hard to forget.

[Rosebud]

Margot I think there's just a lot going on in all directions. I think you know how to handle the things that may come but I also think you should prepare yourslef for the worst so that you won't be entirely shocked if it does happen. I can somewhat see where this guys is coming from in regards to this other woman but he should really examine the fact that it's a good possibility she is just using him and going back to him because it's something familair to her. I'm not making excuses for him but he does have a lot on his plate and I think you did a good thing by telling him he needs time to himself to really think about this. If he decides to marry this other chick then he didn't deserve you in the first place and like you said you will live and learn from this experience. If he decides to stay with you then I think you guys will have a lot to do on rebuilding the foundation of your relationship. It's a good thing he told you about this when he did, but they say the first fight you have is going to be the the fight your going to ahve the rest of the time your together. So I think you should really evaluate how much your willing to forgive this person and go from there.

[Tone]

Yeah, and keep in mind we're only hearing one side of the story... there could be more that we don't know behind this ex/proposee situation.

[margot732]

Margot I think there's just a lot going on in all directions. I think you know how to handle the things that may come but I also think you should prepare yourslef for the worst so that you won't be entirely shocked if it does happen. I can somewhat see where this guys is coming from in regards to this other woman but he should really examine the fact that it's a good possibility she is just using him and going back to him because it's something familair to her. I'm not making excuses for him but he does have a lot on his plate and I think you did a good thing by telling him he needs time to himself to really think about this. If he decides to marry this other chick then he didn't deserve you in the first place and like you said you will live and learn from this experience. If he decides to stay with you then I think you guys will have a lot to do on rebuilding the foundation of your relationship. It's a good thing he told you about this when he did, but they say the first fight you have is going to be the the fight your going to ahve the rest of the time your together. So I think you should really evaluate how much your willing to forgive this person and go from there.

Hi Rosebud,

Thanks for your nice and compassionate post. I am preparing myself for my bf to decide he wants to marry his ex after all. It will hurt tons and I'll be justifiably angry at him for putting me through this, but I won't be shocked. He will have lost a fabulous woman if he walks away from our relationship.

If he decides to stay with me, indeed we will have a lot to do to rebuild the foundation of our relationship: re-establishing trust and a new openness in how we communicate. I may very well determine that he is not to be trusted and I will end our relationship there and end it permanently. Will keep you posted.

[Rosebud]

I agree we have only known one side to this story, which is why I'm trying to keep an open mind while giving advice.

I think your doing the right thing margot by keeping in mind it will be his loss and this will only make you stronger and better prepared for your next relationship if that happens. I'm trying to remember a little about your last thread without going back but In thinking you shouldn't look at is as though he lied, because he did tell you all his feelings and was very open about them which you should acknowlege from him seeing as though eh was trying to be upfront with you so you would know. He could ahve kept this from you and just left without a word. So you have to take that into consideration as well and if you do take him back you should hold this over his head. You will remember it btu don't hold it against him as that will only cause more problems in the future. I think you pretty much know what you have to do and I hope this has helped some. Godd luck with all this ok!

[Vanilla Gilr]

Margot, out of all the posts I've written to you...saying you're worth someone who loves you...trying to warn you about being hurt...the ONLY line you respond to is when I say that you only hear what you want to hear...that's all you got out of anything I've said.

You can try to make it out that I've been uncaring or mean to you...you do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better.

This is my last post on your boards regardless of anything you might say against me. I had no motive but to try to help.