Confusing contact with ex after 1 month NC?

[rachelg]

Hi all, basically its been about one month since my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. We are both 21 and he felt that I was holding him back in life. I think he wanted to experience what it was like to be single and be able to sleep with other people - something he craves but never seems to want it for very long before he comes crawling back to me because he realizes it isn't that good (he has left about four time for about two weeks then come back). He feels like he is too young to be in such a serious relationship. In saying that, we love each other a lot, and I know there are things that would need to be worked on for us to be a good couple, such as me being too dependent on him, and him having more freedom in the relationship.

So I have had no contact at all for four weeks, until last night I caved and called him. He answered and I said I was just seeing how he was going and was thinking about him. He was quite cold at first, and we had small talk, then he started to say how much he missed me sexually and how turned on her was getting just talking to me. I tried to change the subject but thats all he could think about, he wanted me to come over, and he also wanted to come over to my place. I said I cared about him too much to have a one night thing with him and that I couldnt give him what he wanted. He then started asking me whether I had slept with anyone else since we had broken up, and if I had he wanted to hear about it because it turned him on. I dont understand why that wouldnt make him upset or jealous or angry to think about? Once I was firm about my answer, he started to be a bit rude to me and said that he was talking to other girls. We got off the phone and he texted me saying it was best I didnt call him again because it messed with his head. He then deleted me off all social media.

I am really confused and I don't understand what's going on or where his head is at. I really miss him and I will keep giving him as much space as he needs because I know it would be toxic for us to patch things up right now, but I dont know where to go from here. Any help or advice would be appreciated

[Smoochme]

Basically he's young and wants his freedom , sounds like he wants to use you for sex if he's not getting it else where 😏
I know it's hard when you love someone but try moving on with your life too , DONT contact him that boosts his EGO let him believe your moving on too
If a guy know your sad your missing them they don't give 2hoots , if you go quiet they go into panic mode and wonder what the hell your up to
Guys play silly games if he truly loves you he would be with you now ....... if he texts or calls don't rush to reply let him sweat !!

[Kates David]

Personally I do n`t think you should concern yourself whether you are making the first moves or not, enjoy his company for what it is worth, but always keep in mind that he only demonstrates erotic love/self love, and that genuine friendship, where your feelings most certainly would not be hurt, is infinitely more valuable. He may eventually experience genuine love, or it could be that he`ll never experience genuine love, impossible to know. Get over him emotionally, and then make do with what of him is left if it pleases you so to do. Personally I think you`d be far better off with just a genuinely good friend. They never mess with your head. Do n`t bother trying to coax him into loving you, not texting, etc, you`d be making do with second rate uncertain love.