whoa!

[lissmeanstroubl]

So, I'm dating a man who's 9 years older then me and he's pretty intelligent, but he likes to drink scotch. We have had this conversation both sober and not sober, and whenever it's just me and him he says he wants to have babies, but when I hear him talking about it to other people he says he doesn't want any kids. He does not like to use condoms and I'm not on birth control so we've been basically just pulling out , but lately he doesn't and says he doesn't care when he's sober, and when he was drunk he said he was trying to get me pregnant but turned around and said we couldn't have as much fun anymore, etc etc... I am planning on getting and iud placed in a week and I'm upset he couldn't just wait another few weeks, I'm just overwhelmed with confusion and my head reels when I think about what if I am pregnant because we haven't been together more then 5 months and I'm feeling like he's being inconsiderate and confusing. Don't get me wrong. He's wonderful, he takes such good care of me, he's a gentlemen, never let's me pay for anything, says I'm the one, all my girlfriends are jealous of the nice things he does wishing their boyfriends were as great as mine, but this makes me upset, and I don't know what to say...

[Fuhrer]

Hi, well that is fu*cked up situation I have to admit, but you have to ask yourself is that what you really want for yourself?
I mean, baby? A man who often gets drunk and changing opinion? And I hate you wrote stuff like "he's a gentlemen, never let's me pay for anything" , girl that is not a gentlman definiton ...

Its on you, but you have your life to control and I dont know is a baby good idea to take control of it? Lets say it is, how do you imagine to have a baby with a drunk? He is changing his mind, not honest infront of other people ...

Just ... think about it, in my opinion its a bad, a very bad idea. First build urself up, make something of you, be ... better. And, you wont need forum when you realize "Yep, I want to do this", and since you are asking for opinion here, and opinion on a guy who is drinking and want a baby? I dont want to offend you, but, was your brain OFF hole time or? Yea, love is love, but ... you is you .. you is on first position if you know what I mean.

[melancholia]

If you're worried about getting pregnant then start using birth control. Use condoms until you get your IUD (it's effective as soon as it's in place, so you don't have to use a back up method of BC, like you do when you start the Pill). If he refuses to wear condoms, then don't have sex until you are protected. It's that easy. It's that simple. If you aren't ready for kids, then start taking your sexual health into your own hands and take preventative measures. Until you two are able to have a serious, real conversation about having children, you need to take initiative to be more responsible with your sexual habits.