How to ask ?? Should I? Advice

[Visualmetal]

So I was wondering if someone could meaby give me some advice. (Sorry for grammar mistakes, I'M from norway )
I will make this short.
NOw I have just broken off my ex-boyfriend in late september(last year). THis was a long distance relationship, and I was quite devastated. It only lastet for 7 month. I was a first years student, started my second year(still in second year). After a long and hard emotionall break up, I didn't think I would fall in love again, or at least like someone. So in the middle of december before new year i matched with some guy. I've been using tinder after I broke up just for fun. So I matched with this guy, and it turns out we matched once before I got togheteher with my ex. So we actually spoke around the same time, and talked to go on a date. Just for coffee and a chat. It turns out we both remmebered each other, and what the confersation was about. So this time we wanted to meet up for sure. BUt lol, it turns out we bothe kinda had plans, and there was no time. Btw he lives in oslo and worsk there and I live in Kristiansand wich is like 5 hours away. He was in kristiansand because he's from here, visiting family and friends. So we didn't meet this time either. And I told him that I was going up to oslo to visit a friend in the middle of january. He wanted to meet up. So we randomly started talking to see if we should.

Yeah , we talked and talked about interests and hobbies, music and movies. Thing's we do (work/studie) and so on. We just had sooo good chemestry lol. We started to flirt, like a lot! We just had so much fun, and we totally forgot tinder. So we used phone and messenger to chat instead. Both of us kinda joked aroud . Since we where just seen how this will go right?. And I was joking too. But somwhere in the prosess we kinda fell for each other. A little bit at least. We even sended nudes and shit lol. Now both of us are young adult's, with clear goals. I think we only chattet for like, three weeks?

Before it finnaly became january. And I visited my friend. So, we kinda agreed that we should spend some time togheter. Yeah, and there's also a consert coming in may, that we decited to go too. Since my friend couldn't come. The thing is, that he ordered the ticket for me..before we even met.

I was surprised..
YOu know, I understand if some people want's some sex and shit. YO, I want it too sometimes. BUt like, he lives in oslo..he can get any girl...and he's not ugly or stupid. So I was wondering what the heck this was about...
Anyway, so I couldn't stay at my friend's place longer than a weekend, since he worked. That's why he said I could stay with him. At his place. And I was like, sure. If he want's to sleep with me, then it's fine. I mean I wanted it too. BUt you know, I dind't expect anything at all from this.


So yeah, we met. He met me outside his apartementn(he lives with his older brother, he's 25 and I'm 24) . And he was just as cute, as kind and caring . THe same person I texted with. We both kinda fell ..once we met.
Yeah, and we did have sex. In those two days, we went on dates and spoke. He decited he wanted to try long distance. NOw, I've told him all about my ex, the long distance that killed me and so on.

He wanted to try, and said he had never been this much in love.

And well , we have met. And now it's allready april. I really do like him. And he really does like me. BUt..we're still not official. And we heavn't had the talk about what we should do, or how we feel this will go.

NOw, I'm too afraid to ask him about this. BUt I also don't want to be wasting time. I don't know how to aproach this . NOne of us has talked about our future...like with each other, and plans and stuff. THe only thing I know ..is that he is going to study again. And that's totally fine. I have a Year left till i am done with my bachelor degree. BUt still, he replies me not as ofted..as he used to..I feel left out
I don't want to bother him, since I also have my own thing's to do. But I feel he's not serious. THen again we heaven't talked about this..in a serious matter.


I feel from time to time that he doesn't like me as much as he did...hm..What do you people think of this? Do I make any sense?
THe last thing I want is to be hurt again. Since this remind me of the same reason I broke up with my ex. He got to busy, to focused on himself ..And that's also fine, but I didn't get a choise to get out of that relationship.

[Hooo!]

what do YOU want?

[Jstar845]

I am sorry to hear about your previous and your current relationship. It is wonderful to hear that you have one more year left in college. I commend you on your accomplishments. I will say stay focused on college and continue to do well. I see you mentioned your previous relationship with your ex and it seems that the current guy may be focused on other things as well. I believe from reading your post you needed to talk with him before you started dating him and became serious such as, get to know him, talk about your plans, goals and future. I know getting to know any man takes time, and it is okay to take your time. This will let you know beforehand if you want to pursue him. This will help you in the future and the guy will not become as distance. I wish you the best!

[pcmaster]

I think its normal that things are calmed down. First weeks are most intense. Maybe he starting to calm down.
If things ends they ends. Theres nothing you can do. Enjoy while it lasts and visit eachother as often as possible. Maybe try less texting and more calling when you both have time to talk.

[Visualmetal]

WOw thank's for the reply guys!! Yeah we defenetly have talked about the future. But only touched the surface. Right now we are kinda worried how the future will look for us. Neither does now. I am really going to focus on college and finish it. However I am also willing to compremize if we want to take things more seriously. Since there isn't meany people you love, and I really enjoy beeing with him. For now both of us have decidet to not let go of each other yet. See how it goes. The texs have been to minimum, but now we're both busy with work and school. And it's fine, since you don't always have thing's to talk about. I will try to call instead. Since that's something we heavn't done that often, just because texting is easier.

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yeah , I've been thinking the same. I want to enjoy it while it last. It is just frightening. I miss the intensety though, I feel we where more fearful, more willing to try and do thing's. I guess I am just afraid to let him go after my sad expirience last time. BUt I'll stay strong. He is such a good person though. He is afraid of hurting me, and afraid of the future. I also want him to stay strong, and I really do want to show him that we can have it so nice togheter at the same time when we pursue our dreams. From the last talk, he seemed so sad and kinda lost hope in this. I'am not sure how to stay posotive about this. I never push anyone, and I don't intent to push him. We'll see how it goes...

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I want us to be togheter, if it's possible. Get to know him more.

[Hooo!]

i used to skype a lot. helps seeing a face.

I want us to be togheter, if it's possible. Get to know him more.

so how could you best achieve that?

[Visualmetal]

how u say, I have been in a long distance relationship before. It's really different from people to people. Well call is the best option. Or skype. Visiting each other is also great, but it takes time. We are doing everything exept skype . And this takes time . Time is the issue

[Hooo!]

so in order to get to know him and what he feels and thinks
you just need skype and time?
or is there anything else you need?

[Visualmetal]

em I'm not sure what u are sayin here. Sorry if I don't get it. If you mean money ..then yes. I do have a part time job..?
Yes and meet him ofcourse? Or are u reffering to make plans? Or what? LIke work togheter or??

[Hooo!]

I am asking because i was curious.
But back to topic. are you making plans? are you working to get together and are you skyping and spend time to each other?

[Visualmetal]

oh ok, sorry about that. No, we have been wery calm. Just some small texting, we heavn't made any plans. Next time we see each other it we be in may, a consert we both are going to. I think I will call him instead from now on. We have been busy, He is stressed with work. I don't wanna bother him. I am stressed with studies too. However I do wanna talk to him. There has not been much progress actually, since the easter. I guess we both are thinking. The calmness is killing me sometimes. Though I'll call him next week .