Originally Posted by
TheEvilJester
Yet, that is all the more reason that maybe the right answer is you SHOULD take your distance from her. After all, how exactly do you expect you will get her out of your mind if she is still constantly around?
Believe me, I don't mean to say that like it is such a simple thing. I know that right now that, at least for part of you, that is the last thing you want to do. But, it may, unfortunately, be what you need. Because, again, either you can see being just friends with her in the long run and it no longer hurting you.... or you can't see going back to being just friends because it will be too difficult for you since you wanted it to be more. If you CAN see being just friends with her in the long run.... it will probably still take some distance and time. You'll need time to move on, get over the feelings you had for her, and accept that it is not going to be anything more than a friendship. Then, it is certainly possible you could, after time, feel okay being around her as just a friend.
On the other hand, if you don't feel you can ever be okay with that, that distance would also be your friend. If that is the case, then it is pretty much inevitable (most likely, anyway) that you'd have to part ways anyway because otherwise you'd be stuck in a sort of limbo, acting as though you are just her friend but really wanting it to be more. Whether you mean to or not, you'd likely just hold yourself back from looking for other women who may actually be available to you because you are still waiting on somebody who would probably never be anything but a friend.
I don't know if I agree with Hooo's advice to keep pursuing somebody who has told you no. However, what I definitely DO agree with is his intended purpose behind that of not lying to yourself/to her. In other words, if you don't feel you can live with being just her friend, then you are not doing yourself or her any favors to pretend you can live with it. So, don't pretend you can live with being just friends unless you really, truly can do just that.
Should you continue trying to pursue her? I mean, my personal thought on that would be no. You tried and she said no. I do, though, readily admit I could be wrong in that. If a relationship is all you want and remaining just friends would not work for you, maybe a reasonable level of persistence is in order. I don't know. Again, I don't personally think so, because women don't tend to throw around the "just friends" thing unless they mean it. So, again, I'd think more so your decision is can you remain just friends or, for your own good, do you need to just move on.
I know that is not an easy decision to make, so don't think I'm trivializing the difficulty of this. It would absolutely stink to have to lose her completely rather than at least be able to keep her as a friend. And, again, if you sincerely CAN eventually get to a point of accepting being just friends with her.... to moving on and looking for love elsewhere while still remaining buddies with her... then great. If that would be too hard on you, though, then you owe it to yourself to do what is best for you. It will hurt for you both, but if she's as good a person as she seems, she'd at least understand and not want you to do something that would ultimately only hurt you more.
Good luck!