Pretext?

[DarkDwarf]

The girl I am about to discuss, I may have already talked about on here, but regardless, here goes nothing...

I like a girl, who is, to be frank, quite amazing. In fact, she is so amazing, that out of my four closest friends, two currently like her, and one did at one point. The two, being my closest friends, aren't 'pursuing' a relationship with her. They don't like her to the degree that I do, but have both said they would date her, given the option.

So, long story short, she is amazing. I spent some time developing a relationship, to the point where she is flirty with me most of the time. A couple of days ago, I asked her what she was doing this weekend. She said something along the lines of, "I don't know. Nothing really, just my homework... Why?". The "why" always seemed inquisitive, as opposed to just a casual "why", but I just assumed I was over analysing things (then again, girls have given me very discreet signals).

So I decided that I would try to get a group... going to the movies, mainly with the express purpose of me getting to know her better, etc. So I ask her friends (I'm good friends with both her best friends), if they want to do something. One is going out of town, the other says that would be fun, so we get a group together. I ask the girl, and she says maybe, she has to see how much homework she has. Anyway, she texts me back a couple hours ago, telling me that she has too much homework and she can't go. Now, I question whether or not this is a pretext, as I am in all the classes she is (same classes, not same periods), with the exception of two, where I have Photography and she has nothing, and where I am in a more advanced math class than she is. I don't know what to think.

In addition, what should I do now? I think I know the answer I am going to get: "Try to avoid the drama and just confront her about it", but I thought that I would double check

[squirrley]

Don't let it bother you. Try again in a couple of weeks. IF she blows you off more than a couple of times than maybe you've got your answer. But right now, nah chalk it up to she really has homework. And maybe right now she'd feel more comfortable with her friends around. Don't give up!!!

[GrkScorp]

More details required!

[DarkDwarf]

GrkScorp: As in? I'm glad to provide, just tell me what you want to know.

Update: The whole movie thing was last night. She wasn't there, obviously, but everyone who went had fun. I texted her later that night, jokingly saying something along the lines of, "Homework, really?", and she replied saying, "Ya, I had a lot of math to catch up on. How was the movie?", to which I replied, "It was actually suprisingly good"....

Her: "Ya, I really wish that I could have gone. It looked kinda good"

Me: "It would have been better if you had been there. We might do something next week. I dunno" (I may regret saying this but, it is too early to tell at the moment)

Her: "I think that if we do something next week we should do lazertag, cause there are no good movies out. But I have to go to sleep now, laya" (By this time it was about three in the morning because she liked to wait half an hour before texting me back)

I suppose the fact that she was proposing that we do something means that she really had homework?

[CAM]

Confrontation: Not a good idea. What, she's on trial because she says she has homework?

Take a deep breath.

Now, here's the deal. You want to be cool about it. You want to not get your panties in a bind over this, so to speak.

What you do is you text, "Okay. Well, since were in the same classes and you have all this homework, perhaps I could study with you? How about tonight or tomorrow?"

[GrkScorp]

I suppose the fact that she was proposing that we do something means that she really had homework?

Oh.., memories.., this reminds me of something..

I was watching Steve Vai with Goose.., and he was snooping around my library.., and came across a DVD on phone sex..,

Goose: This guy has made a girl orgasm over the phone?
Me: Yeah.., but that's not the best DVD to watch from him..
Goose: There's no way.., I have to see this..

We watch the DVD.., DVD#2.., and it's playing the recorded phone conversation of this guy and some girl he was talking to.., and within 5 minutes.., it was pretty clear by whatever you could hear over the phone that this girl was turned-on.., reaching into her pants.., and getting it on with herself while the guy was talking to her.. (that's ok.., that was the whole point)

Goose's mind was blown away.., he was laughing like a schoolgirl.., not because he found it funny.., not at all.., but because he found the whole idea.., hard to accept.., the idea that women want sex.., the idea that this is all it takes to get someone in that state.., and yes.., make her have an orgasm over the phone.., Towards the end.., he keeps telling her.., "slow down.., not yet".., and you could hear her.., she just wants to cum and get it over with.., but he won't let her.., enjoy herself.., and do what she wants to do.., (OVER THE PHONE!).., he's not there.., it's not HIS hand.., just with his voice.., he's torturing her.., how? (because he's creating a situation where she can allow herself to enjoy the sexual pleasure she wants to enjoy).., he is that to her.., he is that symbol of her sexual pleasure.., and he has the power.., to take himself away at any moment.., so if she doesn't comply.., he "click" leaves.., so even over the phone.., she's being tortured and made to sit there.., and beg him to let her orgasm.., which he does eventually.., after he makes her change the way she was sitting.., bend over.., get down on her knees and elbows with her ass in the air.., her face on the floor.., and reach behind to finish herself off.., she went at it for about 2 minutes while orgasming.., and was crying afterwards.., telling him how great it was.., how amazing it was to feel that.., and how unreal it was for her to know that she just had the best orgasm of her life.., with him.., over the phone..

I think that's mostly why Goose was so shocked when he watched and listened to conversation after conversation.., orgasm after orgasm.., just women on the other end of these lines.., getting off.., to a guy they just met the other day.., or a guy they don't even know that well.., etc.., It was such a powerful truth flashing before his eyes and ears.., overloading his senses.., and running directly against and clashing into his limiting beliefs.., women want sex.., they want love.., they want affection.., they want company.., they want it all.., and the source.., is men.., women want men.., welcome to nature-101..

But the reason guys feel and think differently.., is because of the pressure that exists for women.., to not telegraph this message to the rest of the world around them.., for all else to see.., the reality of the situation is still there.., those urges.., those needs & wants.., those desires.., they're all there.., it's just that during development.., there's a lot of pressure that exists for girls (that doesn't exist for guys) that causes them to hide all of these things..

- Feeling it's "wrong" to talk about these things openly
- Feeling it's "slutty/whorey" to have such urges/desires
- Feeling "good/noble" by acting as if they don't have such desires
- Not wanting to feel dependent on men in order to feel happy

Truth be told.., there's nothing "wrong" about it.., it's normal.., the reason she has a vagina.., is because evolution put it there.., for a reason.., and guess what.., becaues of that reason.., to achive that reason's purpose.., she has to do.., what a woman has to do.., to get.., what a woman wants.., her most natural want.., pleasure..

Now.., sex is important.., but it's just an example.., an extreme example.., but fitting.., because.., when you realize that.., then everything else will start to click.., her desire for love.., company.., affection.., care.., support.., protection.., friendship.., validation.., attention.., etc..

Really.., when you start to look at all these things.., you start to wonder.., why the hell you're even nervous or intimidated.., and more importantly.., why "you" are the one who is almost "begging" HER.., where it should naturally be the other way around.., you're both giving eachother sex.., and she'll be getting all these other things also if you choose to be exclusive with her.., you are a guy.., you have all those things to offer her.., so why then.., should you find yourself.., (or any guy find themself.., for that matter) in the position of begging.., chasing.., or "trying" to get her favor? Why?

What did she demonstrate that she has to offer you.., in relation to what you know you have to offer her.., that has made you feel the urge to chase after her or try and win her favor?

Best,

GrkScorp

[GrkScorp]

Confrontation: Not a good idea. What, she's on trial because she says she has homework?

I agree with this.., generally.., women like pleasure.., and dislike discomfort.., they will actively chase stimulation.., but run away or avoid an uncomfortable situation (unless they're bored.., in which case they'll either start drama of their own.., or turn on the tv and watch something sad.., some drama.., etc)

But following up to where we left off.., confrontation isn't always a bad thing.., it can be necessary.., to snap them back into reality.., and take them off their pedestle they're trying to have you help them sit comfortably on..

Example: There was a girl last week who saw Goose.., and tried to sucker him into getting her and her friends all drinks.., making Goose feel good about the idea.., and flirting with him.., until he would get them all drinks.., and then they would all eventually run off.. (he was really close to almost handing them over his wallet).., but that didn't happen.., before they had a chance to feel any sexual power over him.., I came in and asked "why?".., to recover they tried to make us feel socially awkward.., but that's all they know.., so I turned it on them.., made them feel socially awkward by actually digging deeper.., asking "why?" again.., and letting them realize.., that the only thing they had to add to the interaction.., was their pathetic giggle.., and a hint of hot-pink fabric from their well-thought-out thong-overlap sticking out so they could look "cute".., but that we both find it insulting that they think because that's worked on some desperate/loser/boys in the past.., that they would even dare try to use that sh*t on us.., especially Goose (pointing to him as if he was a pro in all this).., they all shut-up.., and after a quick & subtle apology on their part.., and forgiveness on our part.., they calmed down.., stopped acting like little girls.., became submissive.., and bam! respect.. (we'll see why below)

What does it mean to put someone up on a pedestle?

"You're so great! You are so hot! You complete me! Without you.., i'm nothing.., i'm lost.., you're the only one.., blah blah"

All this stuff does.., is hand over control and power to the other person.., It's funny to watch guys do it.., because in the back of my mind.., i'm always thinking to myself.., "women actively seek out control & power to validate their own ego.., and here are these guys.., just handing it out.., like it's on sale.., so while he's not getting any serious validation from them.., because she didn't have to work or do anything to get it from these guys.., she's still flattered.., but she doesn't respect him.., and is now actually put-off and unattracted.., and now.., he has no reason to have her around.., while he has just verbally expressed that she has this pull on him.., this is like handing a 10 year-old the codes to all the U.S.'s nukes.., what do you think the kid is going to do?".., this is putting this control & power in the wrong hands.., and unless you're looking at a very mature & emotionally stable woman.., 99 times out of 100.., you better just keep all of it to yourself.., and just never use it.., have the option to use it.., but never actually exert any of it on her.., (respect)

What I do.., is I farm for respect.., that's right.., and sometimes I get direct pedestle comments.., "you're so good-looking.., your ex was an idiot to let go of someone like you.., I just wish there were more guys like you out there.., etc".., but most of the times.., being placed on a pedestle is more subtle..

- Her Chasing
- Her trying to get my attention
- Her trying to get my validation
- Her trying to impress me
- Her trying to get me interested in her
- Her offering to do things for me
- Her offering to get me things
- Her trying to get my favor
- Her agreeing with things I say (very little objection; being submissive)
- Her explaining herself for things she thinks she did wrong
- Her being upset when I don't seem interested or seem disinterested
- her being happy when I seem interested

All this stuff.., is giving me control & power.., because.., as the other post notes.., it's getting it out into the open.., in her mind.., and in my mind.., and perhaps in the minds of those around us.., that (SHE likes YOU).., that (SHE wants YOU).., that (SHE needs YOU).., because of many reasons.., (you comfort her insecurities.., you satisfy her needs and wants.., you give her sexual pleasure nobody else can match.., etc).., for whatever reason.., she has accepted the fact that YOU have all these things to offer her.., but is not quite sure that she has anything you might want.., and so the chase begins.. (you can see the message you're sending when you chase.., as a guy.., "you have ALL these things to offer me (your body.., sex.., that's really it).., and from that alone.., I have no idea if you're interested in anything I have to offer you.., but here.., please accept anything I have to offer.., please.., let's hang out.., please.., let's talk.., please.., call me back.., please.., please.., PLEASE!"..

Best,

GrkScorp

[GrkScorp]

I'll tell you what I told Goose.., and so many other guys.., there's a cycle.., everything makes a full-circle.., and there's a hierarchy of sorts.., starting from very low-level (primative) thinking.., and getting to more developed and mature thinking..,

People seeking:

- Sex (most men.., some women)
- Control & Power (most women)
- Respect (sadly.., just some men)

Respect is when you have control & power over someone.., but you don't exert it over them.., you afford them the chance.., to be your equal.., when the child gets upset because it genuinely feels that your demands as a parent are unfair.., and the parent turns around and says.., "oh really? you don't think that's fair? well.., don't clean your room.., or do the dishes.., or your homework.., that's fine.., it's you're life.., you're right.., but when you come back.., don't bother ringing the bell.., and don't ask me for money.., or food.., or anything.., go out and work.., find a job.., and do whatever you want big guy".., that's dumb parenting.., it's disrespecting the child.., obviously the child can't go out and find a job that gives the same level of income to support itself.., obviously it needs a parent.., this is an obvious reality.., this is an obvious control & power the parent holds over the child.., not just financial.., but physical.., etc.., to exert this power however.., is disrespectful.., and the person who is best fit to feel the feeling of disrespect.., is the child.., powerless.., and disrespected..

The child however has no choice.., it was born.., in a weaker position.., where the parents have power over it.., YOU are not.., you choose what you want to do.., and others don't have any control or power over you unless you give it to them.., let me say that one more time.., it's important.., OTHERS DON'T HAVE ANY CONTROL OR POWER OVER YOU UNLESS YOU GIVE IT TO THEM!

Think about that.., you already know this.., this isn't news to you.., but what most guys do.., is use this truth.., to create a primative and tribal display of mutual respect for someone they're interacting with.. You see this all the time.., when someone comes into the room.., you stop what you're doing.., stand up.., and say hello.., when the bill comes.., you offer to pay for it.., etc.., All just giving control & power over.., subcommunicating.., "i'm not afraid to imply that i'm in a dependent position.., that I rely on you in some way.., becaues I know that you would never take advantage of that or use it against me".., yes.., I know.., (wtf?).., it's very subtle.., I agree.., far less subtle than.., "so.., can I get your number?".., and even less subtle.., "Julie.., look.., I really really like you.., and I just wanted to know if you feel the same way about me".., woah! nothing subtle about that..

But what it's doing.., be it in friendship.., or business.., or dating.., is putting someone up on a pedestle.., and for men.., (who follow an honor/respect system).., it seems like the natural thing to do to show someone that you respect them.., "here.., a token gesture of giving you some control & power".., it acts to form trust instantly when it's returned.., and between guys.., it's returned quickly.., but it gets interesting with women..

To women.., you're a stranger.., and thanks to the media.., you're also a sex-crazed teenage boy who only wants sex.., you're starting out with distrust..

Have you ever been at a bar.., and a guy walks up to you.., you start talking.., and he goes to get himself a beer.., and he asks you if you want anything? He just casually makes that offer.., what would you think? I'll tell you what I was thinking.., "ehh.., i'm not really that thirsty.., but that's nice of him.., really cool guy".., and I told him.., no but thanks for the offer..

Have you ever been at a bar.., and a girl walks up to you.., you start talking.., and she goes to get herself a beer.., and she asks you if you want anything? After you're done pinching yourself because you feel that you're now in the twilight-zone.., what would you think? I'll tell you what I was thinking.., "I know she likes me.., but it can't be that easy.., that was too easy.., hmm.., does she want my kidneys? maybe she's going to put GHB in my drink as she's bringing it back.., then tell me to go back to her place.., and i'll wake up in a tub full of ice the next day.., no thanks".., and I told her.., no thanks..

What do you think it feels like for a girl?

- Ugh.., how lame.., boring.., he obviously likes me.., but why? Does he really think he's getting anywhere by getting me a drink.., this is pretty disgusting and uncomfortable

- Ugh.., is he trying to get me drunk?

Best,

GrkScorp

[GrkScorp]

This is definitely a lot of information to digest.., but if you take home and commit anything to memory.., let it be this post..

Forget about "why" women want control & power.., we don't really care much about the female ego.., all that's important.., is how to get mutual respect.., and the first step.., is NOT GIVING CONTROL & POWER.., and then.., GETTING CONTROL & POWER.., and then.., NEVER USING THAT CONTROL & POWER YOU HAVE OVER HER.., respect..

The word "respect" in ancient Greek is "fovos".., the word "fear" in modern Greek is "fovos".., an interesting evolution of language no doubt.., to respect is to fear.., to be afraid of one.., to be submissive.., to be dependent on them.., be it for your pleasure.., for your well-being.., your survival.., your children.., your job.., or your life..

A boss who is constantly making threats about how you will get fired "if".., is a boss who has no respect.., even though he has control & power.., he has no respect.., but a boss has this control & power anyway.., and to his employees.., he need not exert it.., the fact that he has it.., that he "can" exert it.., but chooses not to.., gains him respect.., it shows that he respects his employees.., treats them as equals.., allows for them to feel like people and not servants.., (again.., if they deserve it).., and for feeling that level of respect.., in turn.., they respect him..

You won't come across too many women.., who you like.., and you interact with.., throw your knightly gestures on them.., hold the door for them.., pay for their sh*t.., say nice things to them.., and then have any respect from them.., it just doesn't happen.., you'll always be the guy they have control & power over.., because he likes them.., he knows it.., she knows it.., and there's nothing he can do about it.., if he wants them to stick around.., he'll have to jump.., or else they leave.., end of story.., so they will feel they are doing him a favor.., be it a compliment.., being nice.., or even sex.. (that's not the kind mentality you want from her is it?)

Jerk Appeal: (note: you need not be a jerk to have jerk appeal)

Note: this has NOTHING to do with being mean.., rude.., or a jerk

The jerk is indifferent.., insensitive by nature.., he is unaffected by her.., in effect.., she has no control or power over him.., he doesn't put her on a pedestle.., he doesn't chase after her.., (given.., the jerk is often some gorgeous/rich/popular guy).., so she wants him.., that's obvious.., but he's not throwing himself at her.., he's not chasing her.., and she has no control or power over him.., but she wants him.., she wants what seems out of reach.., and so she chases after him.., to get him.., (what makes him a jerk.., is that he doesn't give a sh*t.., so he's just like a little girl.., he'll take that control & power over her.., tie her by a string.., and keep her there as an option.., that's why they call him a jerk)

Important: She doesn't chase the jerk because he's unaffected.., she does so.., because she wants him.., but can't have him.., If you think by acting disinterested or unaffected.., you're going to magically have girls chasing you.., think again.., She wants the jerk.., because he has something she wants.., when it's not handed to her easily.., and she still wants to get it.., she chases..

This is where you and the jerk go your seperate ways.., unlike an actual jerk.., you actually do care about her.., (this is why I have a thing against PUA's.., if you don't care about the girl.., then why the hell are you even bothering? and if you just want sex.., be honest about it.., don't lie.., these are real people with real feelings).., you care about who she is.., what she wants.., what's important to her.., seeing her happy.., being sensitive to her needs.., all of that.., and because you care.., you're not about to sit there.., and toy with her.., and abuse any of that control & power you have over her.., even though you "can".., you "choose" not to.., you don't want to disrespect her if she didn't do anything to deserve it.., if she's worthy of your respect.., then there's no reason not to give her your respect.., especially when you've earned hers..

Best,

GrkScorp

[GrkScorp]

What is your dream car? I'm not talking small-time.., i'm talking.., you just won $10,000,000.., and any car of your choice.., which one do you want? Ferrari? Rolls Royce? Lamborghini? Great..

When was the last time you've ever seen an ad on tv for any of those cars?

When was the last time you've seen an ad on tv for Toyota? Honda? Ford?

Advertizers spend billions every year.., to try and get you to want their stuff.., why don't you want a Toyota, Honda, or Ford? Why is your dream car something else?

The moral of the story is.., when you're selling "sh*t".., you need to actually go out and "market" that sh*t.., but when you're selling "gold".., it sells itself.., it's simply more valuable.., apply this now.., you men..

Who are the guys who "try" and "impress" women.., to "get her favor".., or "get her to like him"? These are not exactly the Rolls Royce of guys.., These are more like a used Toyota.., and a used car salesman.., comming up to a girl.., offering her things.., being nice.., and eventually begging her to buy his sh*t car.., and it's no big shocker why this type of behavior (desperate, needy, pushy, creepy) is so unattractive..

Who are the Rolls Royce of guys? Pierce Brosnan & George Clooney.., I have yet to seriously come by any others that have the same (masculine sexuality) appeal to them.., sure.., there are better-looking guys.., richer men.., more well-known actors.., more socially popular men in this world.., but women would whore themselves out for a year just to be able to spend a week.., one-on-one.., with any of those two.., the difference? indifference..

The old theory goes.., "silence speaks louder than words".., and with looking at a model for masculine sexual appeal.., especially if those two are you model.., that's a good theory to have in mind.., It's not so much what they "do".., as much as what they "don't do"..

Pierce is a man.., I mean.., really.., he always has a focused look on his face.., there's a whole complex universe going on behind his eyes.., this powerful energy that just radiates from his face.., and when he makes that connection.., to whoever it may be.., it's powerful.., that other person almost has no choice but to get lost in and completely surrender to his power..

George is slightly softer.., he's not as quiet as Pierce.., he has more life to him.., more animated.., and he's a perfect example of seeing that it's ok to be just that.., his face is warmer.., his eyes are softer.., his voice is more comforting.., yet all of this.., while being a strong and powerful man.., he's able to connect with his eyes.., and smile.., to anyone.., secure of himself.., and comfortable enough with himself to open up to them.., during an interview.., in the movies.., etc..

Who are these guys? Characters.., yes.., they're people.., but they're also characters.., mostly characters.., mainly characters.., women don't love any of these men because they love children.., or they're funny.., or because they know how to use their tongue.., or because they know how to talk dirty the right way in bed.., no.., that's not at all the reason.., the basis of attraction then.., is partly looks.., partly socioeconomic status.., and also character..

Best,

GrkScorp

[GrkScorp]

The best approach I ever made in my entire life.., was going up to a group of girls that couldn't have been more obvious about checking me out.., (no.., really.., target was in trance for 8 seconds and then tried to talk to her friends casually to pretend to talk about something else.., but her friends blew up her spot when they both turned around to look at me)..

Me: Everyone is getting pretty uncomfortable with all of you looking over at us ("us" as if I didn't know it was just me.., but I did them the favor).., but I just thought the polite thing to do.., would be to come over and at least say hi and get you all to stop.., hi.., i'm ____
Then: Hi.., blah blah
Me: So.., how do you all know eachother?

Total strangers.., and already.., all acts are gone.., inhibitions down.., all very comfortable.., because the guy who just came up to them is very comfortable.., he's someone they were checking out.., but he's not comming over there to hit on them.., he's teasing them and busting their balls playfully.., and doing them the favor of introducing himself.., and bam.., talking.., secure and comfortable with himself.., and that comfort just spreads to them.., things never turn awkward unless you make them awkward..

This is known as controlling the frame.., and we can get into what it is externally.., but all it really is.., is internal.., being secure and comfortable with yourself.., that's so powerful.., it's sexy..

George Clooney.., Pierce Brosnan.., control the frame.., without even speaking.., everything about them.., frame control.., you can't affect them.., they're unaffected.., you have no control or power over them.., there is nothing they want from you.., there is nothing you have to offer them.., but if they do you the favor of comming over and interacting with you.., you'll take it.. (to say the least).., Rolls Royce..

Guy "trying" to get her attention.., validation.., romantic favor.., sexual favor.., etc.., is someone who has a weak frame.., you can affect them.., you have control & power over him.., he wants all these things from you.., and even if he has something to offer.., you don't want it.., the more he tries to get whatever he is he wants from you.., the more you push him away.., he's the used car salesman who's trying to push a Toyota onto you..

The truth of the matter is.., as you realize more and more about how people in general work.., not just limited to dating.., but obviously.., since you can apply it to dating.., as you get better at it.., you'll start to realize that aside from sex.., there's NOTHING a girl has to offer you.., whereas you can offer her EVERYTHING.., including more sexual pleasure than she has to offer you.. (you can train her to be able to please you better.., but for starters.., most women don't have a clue)

A more painful truth is.., you don't really want to play the role of daddy or the prince or knight that will save her and protect her and give her everything she's ever wanted and more.., not if she doesn't offer you sh*t.., or fails to match what you have to offer her.., not every woman deserves what you have to offer.., and that's something you determine BEFORE you date them.., not AFTER..

If she fails to demonstrate to you.., that she's worth all these things you have to give her.., AND that she has something she can offer you.., AND that there are things about her that you like.., etc.. then why on earth would you just give what you have for free?

The question is never "if you are good enough for her".., the question is always.., "if she's good enough for you".., really.., always.., in the back of your mind.., in a nice way.., "why is she worth it? what does she have to offer?".., like my father says.., "she's bringing pussy to the table.., i'm bringing dick & balls".., it's funny.., but it's funny because it's true..

Most women can only offer you sex.., nothing more.., unless you enjoy drama.., issues.., and nagging.., If you have your life together.., you can cook.., clean.., have your finances in place.., take care of the kids.., and basically do everything on your own.., and better than she can.., so.., why on earth would you give her a free-pass through life.., on your watch? Plus provide financially and make sure she's happy and satisfied? No reason to.. unless you want to do it.., unless you love her.., but what exactly do you love about her?

Sex is the wrong reason to love someone.., as is looks.. that's not love.., unless you know all the reasons behind why you love her.., then you really don't love her.., you're just creating reasons in your mind based on her looks.., that's lust.., not love.., So what you're constantly doing.., is qualifying her.., asking yourself.., "is she worth it? what does she have to offer me? am I happy with just that?".., before she qualifies.., she hasn't really done anything for you to feel motivated enough to ask her to hang out.., or go to a movie.., etc.., why should you want to do these things?

Best,

GrkScorp

[GrkScorp]

DD.., you know I wouldn't be posting this much.., if I didn't think you were able to take all of this.., and put it to use..

This is a state of mind.., realizing that things are a certain way.., and that your internal reality controlls.., so when the bill comes for dinner.., and you feel the social pressure inside of you telling you that because you're a man.., it's somehow your duty to pay.., because.. "it's the right thing to do.., be a gentleman and do it.., etc".., you are offended.., you take this to imply.., "hey.., wait a minute here.., we both had a great time.., i'm not saying that she was the only one who had a great time.., I had a fairly good time myself.., so isn't it almost unfair.., to imply that I have to pay for her half.., as if i'm paying for her to be here.., spending time with me..? Just because I had a great time too.., I should be forced to pay for the whole thing.., why?"

Or when the end of the night is comming.., and you have to go.., and you feel the need to ask for her number.., "excuse me.., is this really fair? Didn't we both enjoy talking to eachother? What is this saying about the whole thing? By me asking her for her number.., isn't it just saying that I enjoyed talking to her more than she enjoyed talking to me? And I find it very rude that she's just sitting there.., waiting for me to ask her.., as if to imply that I was having more fun than she was.., pretty cocky and egotistical of her.., and I know she's not a guy.., so she won't take it as token respect.., she'll instead actually feel flattered that I asked for HER number.., and not the other way around.., and she'll feel like she's up on this pedestle.., that's just very insulting.., I don't find that fair at all"

And after years of this.., believe me.., I couldn't take it anymore myself.., Goose flipped the radio in my car once.., and this commercial went on.., "Oh man.., if only I could get a date with Cindy.., I would sell my soul to the devil just to get a date with her!".., I almost got us both killed on the road.., talking about how disgusting it is that we live in a culture which programs girls to feel that they can just sit back.., and wait for guys to bend over backwards because they can offer sex..

But do you know what I really find most disturbing? I'll tell you.., honestly.., guys who can't make the mental leap.., and start asking themselves.., "wait one fcukn' minute.., I can sexually satisfy her way beyond what she can.., I can make her orgasm to the point where she won't even be able to satisfy her own self anymore.., let her experience sexual pleasure she can't even imagine exists.., and beyond that.., i'm sensitive and understanding enough to care about her needs & wants.., and insecurities.., and able & smart enough to be able to both identify them and comfort & satisfy them.., financially provide.., take care of her.., anything and everything.., I can do.., but hold on just one second.., why the fcuk would I do that for her? What can she do for me? What does she have to offer?"

And it all starts.., before you've even seen her.., before you stepped off your bed in the morning.., this is a constant mentality you have in your head.., this is your reality.., this is the way things are.., nothing said here is unreasonable or at all seperate from the truth or reality.., you can see for yourself that it actually doesn't make sense to do anything BUT this..

When you make that mental leap.., you'll realize how insulting it is for you to "try" to "impress" anyone to get their "favor".., and how you're not about to sit there and "ask" or "beg" for her to come out with you..

She will do so.., because she wants to do so.., no need to beg.., no need to even ask really.., for as long as there's attraction.., then there's motivation in place for her to want to do it.., all that attraction is.., is her.., seeing you.., as someone who can.., comfort an insecurity of hers.., or satisfy needs & wants of hers.. that's all that attraction is.., really..

Best,

GrkScorp

[GrkScorp]

People are very basic.., almost like robots.., that's right.., it's a truth so tragic to think about.., that it's hard to accept..

Basic psychology:

- People seek pleasure
- People avoid discomfort

There are really just three ways to control people:

- Through insecurities
- Through needs & wants
- Through ego & self-identity

I use the world control.., because that's really what it is.., they have no say in the matter.., they may "think" they do.., they most certainly may "feel" that they do.., that they thoughts they're having or the actions they're doing are the result of their own free will their own choice.., but that's simply not true.. It's directly the result of some other person's actions.., that caused those feelings & thoughts.., which in turn caused a conscious choice to be made.., which in turn resulted in some action or thought..

Marketing tries to convince you that you NEED or WANT certain products.., neuromarketing tries to convince you that some products conform to your ego & self-identity.., certain products or services are targeted to remind you of the discomfort your insecurities cause you.., and offer you comfort for those insecurities.., but in the end.., we are not just victims of advertizing.., the whole world is marketing ideas and information to us every single day.., and these are mental processes as natural to us as breathing..

With attraction.., these insecurities.., needs & wants.., ego & self-identity.., are all in place.., we don't need to "convince" anyone that they are attracted to us.., no.., all we need to do.., is remind them.., "why" they are attracted to us.., to remind them.., about what is important to them in an other person.., what needs & wants they would like satisfied.., and then demonstrate indirectly.., in a very subtle manner.., that those are needs & wants which you can more than satisfy.., remind them of their insecurities.., and then allow them to see that you are someone who can comfort those insecurities.., and someone who can make them feel good about themselves (ego & self-identity)..

When we do that first.., the motivators for action are in place.., we have created the feelings.., emotions.., and thoughts that we want.., to make for all sorts of conscious choices we want (note: this is why you have to be indirect & subtle.., if you feel someone is trying to sell you something.., you resist.., even if it's good for you.., if you feel someone is trying to attract you.., resistance is natural).., and then.., after those choices are made.., we get a desired feeling.., emotion.., thought.., which will get us a desired action.., but attraction is the motivator for these actions.., so really.., when you become fluid in creating attraction.., the other person doesn't really have a choice over their actions..

"Attraction is not a choice" - (David D'Angelo)

The sequence of events is:

(Attraction) --> (You being unaffected & not pushing) --> (her testing to see if she has control & power over you) --> (her realizing that she has none) --> (You reminding her of her attraction to you & pulling yourself away slowly.., being slightly unavailable.., and creating some fear of loss) --> (Her trying to gain some control & power over you) --> (her failing to do that) --> (you create chances for her to continue the interaction with you.., not pushing.., but allowing for her to chase and push) --> (she chases and pushes.., both attracted to you AND looking to gain control & power over you) --> (you entertain her chasing and pushing.., until she is completely attracted to you.., to the point where she is just looking for some hope that you feel something for her) --> (you afford her the chance and do her the favor of now letting her feel that you like something about her "character/personality") --> (she has just received hope.., it's not control & power.., it's hope.., she now stands a chance.., and she continues to chase & push) --> (the more she does.., the more you allow her to demonstrate herself to you.., and let her feel that you are slowly growing interested in her.., she is winning you over) --> (she feels safer in the situation.., and is able to allow herself to invest emotionally.., starting to fall in love with you) --> (at this point.., you can just go on with normal comfort-building activities.., the frame is such that you are both attracted to.., interested in.., eachother.., and she is emotionally invested in you.., you can feel free to invite her to a movie.., and she'll gladly find a way around her homework to go watch it with you.., it's only a matter of time until you choose to tell her to be your girlfriend)

Yeah.., I know.., "no way!".., that's the same thing Goose said when he read the back of the DVD which talked about the hypnotist bringing women to have powerful orgasms over the phone.., but when he saw it in action.., that view changed.., I can only imagine how he'll feel when he actually does it himself on some lucky girl..

Best,

GrkScorp

[Gigabitch]

Oh, my God. Take your meds, GrkScorp.

Anyway, DD, you have no right to confront this girl about whether or not she had homework. She doesn't owe you anything. She could have any number of reasons for not being able to go and you simply have to accept that she said no. The fact that she suggested lazertag is a really good sign- it sounds like she has a positive view of you and wants to hang out.

Don't get weird on her.

[Asparagoose]

Goose's mind was blown away.., he was laughing like a schoolgirl.., not because he found it funny.., not at all.., but because he found the whole idea.., hard to accept.., the idea that women want sex.., the idea that this is all it takes to get someone in that state.., and yes.., make her have an orgasm over the phone..

Oh my god, I actually did find it funny when she was crying after her orgasm, and the way it just carried on for so long. I guess I just found the idea of me doing this one day hard to accept. I don't have half the balls it takes to go jump in and do something like that just yet. I guess you can say that i'm not ready to be sexy yet. I still have to get comfortable with the idea that I just saw a completely different reality for my view of the opposite sex than what I had known for all these years!