Wouldn't mind some criticism

[Kodo]

Well it seems I'm on my own.

To cut a long story short:
-Was with a girl for 3 years, she broke it off to take off with someone else (because of my neglect due to laziness) and she returns a year later (after moving to another state) and I can sincerely say it was the worst experience of her life.
-We date for a year. In that time I'm really wound up with my studies. She moves in with me relatively soon (due to pressure from her parents to move out if she is going to spend nights a week at my place).
-I manage to complete my course and move into further study. However I'm a little too focussed on my studies (but honest about it and she can see that).
-She becomes extremely lazy aroun the house. Always having to make her clean up.
-She goes out with friends and I'm usually not around, a combination of work/study or me wanting to kind of sit at home because I don't have to work or study. In some cases she heads out with friends who bring their partners and this really eats at her core (I admit being a little blind to the damage it was causing)
-She did mention she wanted to move back because she was so stressed (and her parents were telling her she looked stressed and sick). She tells me she loves me etc the night before she takes her work belongings and moves back to her parents house. She suddenly switches personality and refuses to talk to me etc. She leaves all her belongings at my place (EVERYTHING she owned).
-2 days later she collects her entire belongings (I did lose my temper the night after she left and demanded she take them back right now so she came the next day). Does it when she knew I wouldn't be home because I was out with a mutual friend (who has known me longer).
-I drive down to her parents place to apologise for the neglect (not all, just some as I said some was study the other was me just wanting space a little too often). She says he doesn't even remember what she said that night and when I try to remind her in a real harsh tone she says something along the lines of "Fine that's what I said then". She sits there the whole time just nodding her head at the things that I KNOW were causing her problems (her friends had told me she would gossip about it with them).
-She can't even look me in the eyes when we're talking, I reached out and brought her face up to look at mine and she actually diverts her eyes away from me (but didn't back off when I lifted her chin up). I basically said I can't control her decision and I accept it and will let her go. She hasn't blocked my phone number and so far she still has me on her facebook.
-She had told a mutual friend that she wanted to move back to her parents place but she didn't think I'd see it like that. She was convinced I'd see it ONLY as a break up (which wasn't true, I really wanted her to move out a few times recently, but not be apart forever, then she just suddenly snaps into ice mode).
-Why did I take her back? I got her life changed. She had a full-time job (on her preferred career path) near my place, got her involved at a gym and introduced her to a lot of mutual friends which really increased her social network.
-According to her "best friend" who is a close mutual friend she seems pretty certain she's made the right decision to break up altogether. Mutual friend also understands that she can be a little selfish at times and she can really stick to a decision even when it's clearly the wrong one (As with our first break up which brings her to tears when she recalls it).

I suppose I just want to hear criticism. This is probably one biased post so feel free to ask any questions. Personally I can see where I might have neglected her but I just wanted my space, she was in my damn house everyday! Sometime I'd want to do things and she'd just sit around the house on the computer and act like I've disturbed her when I tried to talk to her.

I've read a lot of no-contact posts and even lurked around a few other posts. But I suppose I just want to be a little selfish and just talk to people. Talking with mutual friends just makes them uncomfortable..

[smackie9]

Dude, sometimes a relationship is just not to be. You both had different relationship expectations and it just went out of balance. You are both young...enjoy your freedom while you have it, you have your whole life ahead of you to find Mrs.Right.

[Kodo]

Dude, sometimes a relationship is just not to be. You both had different relationship expectations and it just went out of balance. You are both young...enjoy your freedom while you have it, you have your whole life ahead of you to find Mrs.Right.

The emotional answer to that is how it "could" have been if I'd paid more attention or if she could have been more open or obvious... but that's just dwelling.

The first time we ended I was a college dropout (failed an entire semester before I left) and was lazy and just did what I had to do at work and sat at home playing video games.

Now I'm in further study, still working productive (have climbed the ladder a bit), was more exciting (in her words) and yet after the last 4 months or so I've managed to end up the same... does that mean it's me not really changing? Was it her all along? Did we both collide with equal proporition.

[smackie9]

Like I said.....you are two different people with different relationship expectations....it just didn't work out.....she wasn't your match.